Knowing Better

tarot-4 copyIs there any experience more common, or more shared by people, than doing things that we know are not good for us? And, of course, this is something we do on many levels, from eating a chocolate bar when we want to be on a diet, to spending time with people who upset us, to more life-risking behavior. Yet it can be just as true when it comes to our spiritual life and beliefs: we can still allow simple personal involvements to pull us away from our connected state. The problem with that is, higher connections need consistency, and constancy, from us, to know that we are safe for them. It is our actions and intentions that woo them, but they can’t stay with us if we are unreliable.  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Well, in my dreams, I had to put it all together because the bits and pieces went somewhere, but there was still something so much more. And so even this meditation dream and the bits and piece is part of a much larger component of an unfoldment.

In the meditation dream, I am noticing that the identifications I have towards a myriad of outer things is actually an unnatural condition. In other words, it’s not natural to have all of the orientation to the outer, because my natural state is one of silence and stillness. That’s what the God essence is all about.

However, my being is on tilt. I beat up on myself senselessly over and over again with outer indulgences. You would think that I would eventually get it: that in order to feel whole one needs to be still, that my deviations are taking away from the experience of who I really am.

I know deep within from the stillness oneness that is natural to my being that everywhere I look, and everyone I see, is carrying a suffering when they are not able, or capable, of properly listening to their heart – and instead are weighed down by outer conditions. The thing is we all know better, everyone knows better. It’s just a matter of how much the outer has control over you, but we all know better.

We all recognize inner beauty when we see it. We all know the joy of being able to be innocent, where a letting go stillness naturally reside. Well, we may know that but being able to get out of the complexity is another thing, so consequently I am always cheering for others to break free and relate naturally to their true condition, which is an inner condition, because deep down we know that this is the fiber of our inner beingness.

Nevertheless it pains me to see people suffer, just like it pains me to suffer with them. Because that’s what happens: when I see them suffer, I suffer with them. Some part of me always does that. I mean that’s how the silence and the stillness works. That’s where the inner connection works. That’s why it’s good to keep a certain separation, or denseness, so to speak, that’s the positive way of trying to flip the stupidity into a meaningfulness, because when it’s like that then you don’t necessarily identify so closely to kind of an amnesia pain that predominates.

So within my heart… and, of course, I call it an amnesic pain because on the other side of it is the greater wholeness. Well, within my heart there is compassion and admiration for the inner bravador, in other words, that’s something which is trying to wake up. And when I am touched when something bleeds through the projections and, in doing so, sees our condition as one of connection. If not for this inner bleed through bravador, I would not be able to share a beingness with others. Instead I would spiral out of control and go irreparably insane. So to put it in other words, control is a holding on to a deviation, and oneness exists when the wayward projections we each manufacture fall away.

So the meaning is, that in my meditation dream, as I let go of the mind ego relatability, I find a wholeness within. As I come in from the outer malaise, even if just for a moment, there is a heartfelt quality of healing. The fact that I go right back and purposely pick up the mind ego sense orientation, which pains the heart and veils the soul from its unlimited natural nature, is bizarre, and I am seeing it to be so as I keep doing it.

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Tuning In

TW1The need for acclimating to new energies, to new potencies awakened in us, is at the heart of many spiritual processes and dream processes. Here we see that in action as the dreamer comes and goes, over time, visiting people, arguing a bit, having a bit of an attraction, then moving on. It is the process of familiarizing and learning to feel safe with what is emerging in us, and it shows that progress is being made. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: In my dream, I’ve gone back to a house maybe that I used to live in, or that people that I used to do seminars with are living in. The couple that lead some of the seminars are living on the upper floor and I go up to visit them, but I argue with them. Then I look at him and I realize he’s kind of sick, so I back down.

But then someone mentions to me that actually the fact that I argued with him makes him look a little livelier, that seems to perk him up a little. But I live downstairs in the house and I seem to come and go to wherever I work and, as I come and go, I have a bed in the hallway actually, and at first I’m sharing it with a woman seminar leader that I haven’t seen for years either.

And then I leave and I’m gone almost five years, and I come back, and there’s a man I used to be in a relationship with that’s in the bed now, and another woman with him, and she leaves because I’ve come back and I see that bothers her. I don’t really want to be with him. It’s more like I come back and I check in, and I leave and I come back and I check in. I really want the people to be doing better, but I don’t really want to be in a relationship with him, either. So I come and go. I remember the bed had an orange bedspread; it’s like sometimes I’m sweeping it off.

And then I go to see how the woman seminar leader is doing because I want to see if she’s doing better, and then it’s like I want to see how the people upstairs are doing. Then I want to reassure the woman that’s taking my place with the man that actually she’s fine if she wants to be in a relationship with him. It’s like I’m just checking in or something, and it just feels like the whole dream is like that. I’m always coming and going, and coming and going.

John: What the dream is doing is, we’re working with the recognition that the magnetic energy, the attraction, and the arguing, which is basically the same thing in a way because it is still working with creating responses, either in a way that appears to create a pushing away… In other words a magnet has two sides to it, one that pushes off, and the other that attracts. And yet they both have the same overall orientation, which is a letting go, because even though you may choose or take on a role of being argumentative, you’re not doing that in an undermining capacity. In other words, you’re still checking into the place, but you might even be argumentative in some capacity, and the fact that you take that kind of approach helps in your process of shaking something through, bringing a clarity, a coming together balance of a wholeness that is needed.

But it doesn’t just take place out of the blue. It requires a certain kind of dynamic as a process, that you use, that draws you to the realization of what is going on in a deeper way. To try to figure out an example, it’s kind of like people go through life, and they have their habituations and they’re interests and their involvements and things, and yet deep inside there is something else going on that is beckoning.

And at first they may think, like in the case of a woman, they may think that if they get married then everything is as good as it gets or something, and then find out that no, that whatever this quality is is still drawing them to having to recognize something still more. Well, that’s the nature of the vibrations that are flip sides to the same coin of each other that you’re going through, one being the argumentative, which tends to push off – but isn’t pushing off from a standpoint that it is veiling itself, or being rude, or shutting something off.

And the other is the magnetic energy in which there is the recognition of what one needs in terms of a coming together as a quality of attraction, in which the magnets come together as opposed to oppose each other, as a purported but not actual polarity issue. This dynamic is what sharpens, just like in the other example where something is slowly waking up inside as you’re going through the outer and realize no matter what happens in the outer it just doesn’t quite gel because it’s still the outer, it’s still an illusion, and there’s still something deeper within that’s meaningful.

These energetics, that are the flip side of the same thing, this is your dynamic upon which you come to sort out or recognize the greater overall side of your being, because nothing that you do in either direction of those energies gets you what you want in an outward way of looking at it. But on an inward way of looking at it, this is part of the motion that’s needed in terms of… it’s a flip side use of the word motion, though, in terms of a letting go for something more to just be naturally there as a quiet overall space.

Somehow you know what it means to be argumentative, yet still be in the same house on the first floor in a support capacity there when needed, as needed, and as connected, even though appearances could suggest otherwise. And you know what it means to be in a house where there is a certain magnetism, even though you come to know that you’re using that magnetism to tune something else in. But you don’t know that at the time, necessarily, but that is what is going on.

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Trying to Communicate


Todd Allen

We have spoken before about water images and fish images as being representative of the unconscious. Sometimes it can be a small body of water, or an ocean, or a small fish or a big fish. Here we see a human-sized fish that’s following our dreamer around and trying to communicate with her. And, as you might expect, that makes her a little uncomfortable. Sometimes dreams try to communicate subtly through their symbolism, and sometimes the symbolism jumps out of the water as a huge fish and flat-out says it’s trying to communicate.  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Okay, in the second dream, I’m living with a group of people and at one point I leave the house and I discover there’s been a huge snowstorm. And I’m trying to make it down the hill and back in a snowstorm.

At one point it feels like I even really slide and come right to an edge where I could go over, but I seem to stop, and I’m studying out how to go down and around. Then it feels like I’ve come back and I’ve gotten my sister and we’ve left, but when we want to make our way back what’s happened is we’re kind of almost like flowing uphill, and everything around us is in upheaval.

Whole buildings have just kind of either fallen, or gone up in the air and turned over, or whatever’s going on, and what used to be the road that we took downhill it’s become all like a muddy river almost, and we’re trying to make our way kind of against the current and getting back.

And there’s even things that look like alligators on the side and underwater, or you think like they can be after you, but they don’t seem to bother us. So we make it back towards where we’re going, and I’m even going somewhere towards work, and someone notices these big fish in the water to the side. And there very unusual fish with kind of tentacles a little bit like catfish, and someone had once said there were no big fish in that water, and I’m thinking, well, you know, these look as big as a person.

But then one comes out on land and I see that there’s something actually like they’re actually manmade on some level, or alien.  There’s kind of a plate near the back of their head that’s almost like you feel like they’ve been manmade or manufactured in some way, but they’re also intelligent. It’s like they try to communicate with us, and so we hurry off to work. And I start hiding from the boss that I even see or knew anything about the fish, but I break something so he knows I was in the room overhearing a conversation he was having about them, I think, but I try to act like it was the cleaning lady that dropped something on the floor and not myself and my sister or whoever I’m with.

And then to make our way back but, when I leave work to make my way back now, these alien fish-like people, I guess is what they are, are trying to communicate with me all the time and following me around or showing up where I am, and it’s like I’m a little freaked out by it. I don’t know quite what to make about it, that they’re doing this, because I don’t know what they are or what they’re about yet.

John: You’re using an image to try to portray how the breath works, and in the out-breath you come down and, when you hit the interval to where the out-breath turns to the in-breath it’s like being on the edge of a cliff in that you’re at the furthest point, so to speak, from the crown, and it seems that in this particular zone where you don’t have a lot going on for yourself in the outer, because you’re at this edge, nor do you have the inner on the return working, that you could’ve cracked up. You could’ve gone into a state of despair; but you didn’t. You didn’t go over the edge.

And so then you made the return back, and you’re making the return back, something comes out or opens up for you, and it’s these fish, and these fish have a kind of consciousness. In other words, who would guess that in the like in-breath coming back, going back to where you belong to a home, going back, that there would be such amazing consciousness.

And each time come to realize more and more of an intertwined linkage, or awareness, of what was opening up inside at some depth inside of yourself that is represented by these fish that are attempting to get your attention.

So you’re portraying the path. In other words, the first time you had to be rescued by kind of a grace because you were really under blizzard conditions, and you couldn’t see your way, and it was only fortuitous that something kind of worked out. And then the next time you started to recognize all of the plight of things that were there. And the third time you started to realize that there’s an awareness that is trying to get your attention.

What you’re basically describing is the awakening of the soul inside of yourself, in other words, the overallness of that. You’re portraying it just as if you’re discovering, as if you’re going through the various levels from beginning to end, like a one, two, three, three breaths, with the third breath getting to the point that you have a sense that what no one believed was possible is possible. It’s big, it’s there, it looks a little scary, but it’s trying to get your attention.

The fourth would be more of an aspect of completion then, because you would be allowing and accepting yourself to be carried away in that condition. And if you were to allow yourself to be caught up and carried away in that condition, what you would find would happen is that everything that you would be doing would all have to be oriented towards this quality of illumination – which means that you would be outside of the physical, outside of the emotion of things that tries to sort something out with the heart. You would be taking everything that is happening to you into this other zone, into this part of higher self. In other words, you’d be awakening to that realization that that’s what you really are all about.

Instead of quite coming to that full recognition, you came up to the point where you were aware that the consciousness is huge and that it was trying to get your attention, and that it was a little unnerving, and shocking, to see that it was like that. You got up to that particular point.

The next step after that would be to accept and be able to take and go into that. The problem that exists when you come up to this particular point where you now have to accept and go into that, is that as long as you’re still kind of in awe of it, or noticing that something like that kind of exists on the other side, you’re still in a position that is relatable to the lower-self elements of things where delirium exists, and where you can delude yourself.

But when you get to the point where something like that otherness takes over, so that everything about you is in conjunction with the soul of the whole, then whatever it is that happens in the physical, or in the outer, however it is that you are affected then, you have to take that affect and flip it as if, in order to see what it really is about in terms of something on the soul level.

Now when you start to function like that, you’re not going to make a lot of sense to a lot of people because people are still caught in their mind and their senses, and they’re going to have to perceive things in terms of how those things correlate or relate to them. And you’re not going to be effective like you might have been before when you are caught in belief systems. You’re not going to be effective at upholding the various stories, the storybook nature that people have, and that you have.

It gets to the point where even the physical ailments of yourself are not like physical ailments anymore, they also somehow or another have a meaningfulness in terms of the world soul. In other words, whenever you’re going through something that is affecting you physically, where most people would be dwelling upon their aches and pains, you would be inclined to look at that in terms of what is this about on the other side. How do I take and turn this into the big picture?

It’s a whole different frame of reference that almost looks crazy to a person who’s caught in the physical, because it’s almost like a type of denial from the perspective of something that’s caught in the physical, and it even can look like a denial to yourself because you are in the physical and you’re going to have these aches and pains, but these aches and pains and mannerisms to which you’re perturbed and upset, you kind of come to recognize that they point to something else and that something else that they point to is outside of a personal mannerism that you have been accustomed to seeing yourself under. They point to something in which you subtract yourself out and you start to see this being about the whole, or the soul, about everything that exists, and everything kind of goes into that as a quality of what’s really going on.

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