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Into the Abstract

AbstractionNo matter what point we find ourselves, there are always two directions (at least) that we can go: toward further dispersion, or toward more settlement. It’s the struggle between chaos and serenity. Sometimes this struggle is forced upon us by external events, and sometimes we are the catalyst for our own dispersion. Yet we can always decide how we want to be in the unfolding of events – we can adjust our attitude and inner location. And, when we are able to be conscious of this process, we often find, in the end, that the residual effects are much less when we actively choose our course through any maze. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So the only dream I remember, it’s like I’m in New York City. At some point I’m gonna have to get to the airport, feels like it had something to do with you, go see you or take you somewhere. I’m not sure whether you’re there, or I want to go to where you are. But it feels like there’s something that’s disrupting transportation in the city.

So, before I can go to the airport, I have to go see some friends of mine, and they’re at another friend’s apartment. So I make it across the city to where the apartment is, and the apartment is kind of chaotic. In fact, they seem to be taking up two apartments in this building and everything about it is pretty chaotic. There’s stuff all over the room. Plus there’s something that I brought, and, at some point, when they have to leave the party and with all these people in it, I had gone over there to see them I think because they seem to know how to get around, and I’m worried about whether we can get to the airport without people somehow sabotaging, or blowing things up.

But right before we’re all ready to leave, it’s like I go into the apartment. When I come back, they’ve already left, so I hurry down to the street and see them getting into a cab and rushing off. And I haven’t really gotten clear with them how it is that one gets to the airport, it feels like they’re going by cab, I guess. But, again, I’m feeling like there’s something that people are doing that disrupts transportation.

So I go back up to the apartment to get my stuff. And I can find one bag, but not the other. Then I think one bag has some bottles in it and somebody wants it. It’s like people are just trying to take everything. I don’t even know if I find one bag that I have. I don’t seem to be very attached to it, it’s just that I brought it so my thought about taking it seems to be more like the apartment should be cleaned, and straightened up, and cleared out.

And I seem to feel like there are kind of almost like missiles that fall in certain areas, so you don’t feel like you can necessarily get where you’re going in normal ways. And I think how I’m going to get back home, I might even be walking.

Then I suddenly find myself not there, but I walk by a building and I look in, and it’s been kind of taken over almost by the Swedish Ambassador or somebody. They have a bunch of people in there. There’s somebody that had been really happy to see me, but it’s like they’re grabbing me and kissing me there in front of everybody. It’s not really a place to be private. And again, to me, it feels like I’m just trying to still get somewhere. That’s about all I remember. Both dreams just felt so chaotic.

John: Well, before you started to describe the dream, the thought came into my head as to what it was about before you even opened your mouth, which was interesting. I wish I could repeat just that, but it had to do with you having to sort out the subtler levels inside of yourself; to access the subtler levels inside yourself.

The difference between your dream and my dream is you’re just presented in the midst of an environmental set of conditions in which, whatever it is that’s going on that occupies, or holds, your attention is in the way of you shifting, or making transitions, to an aspected flow or continuity that streamlines from a depth inside of yourself.

We have this need or this quality to press ourselves to these traits. And, of course, what your dream is doing is showing you that you are taking and trying to access or probe something more, at a depth within, and are hitting, or running into, veils or qualities that kind of keep you abstracted; that keep that from happening.

So what you’re really doing inside is you’re going around and around, cycling around and around, to try to get to those depths. Now, the level that you’re doing this on is not the level that you’re going to end up finding, in terms of how you take and attempt to do this, that, or the other and make something happen. The level that you’re doing it on still involves some sort of a level of trying to function, or be involved, in a context way with the conditions in the environment around you. You will find that, ultimately, that can never work. And it will always be like a bouncing this way and that way.

What does work, in terms of the levels inside of yourself, is reaching a type of level, a quality of a level, of stillness. And so you look at various parts of where you’re at, in relationship to becoming quiet, or at peace, or at ease – where things kind of come together. And when things come together, that is when there is an inflection to something more. An inflection that’s an inner inflection, an inflection that goes to the depths of something more about one’s beingness.

And so you were dreaming something, you were taking the overall vibration of what existed and you were contending with what that looks like as a vibration in the ethers. It’s a vibration in the current environment that we’re in, and you were attempting to sift and sort that out. And the means upon which you were utilizing to do that was blocked, because the energetic dynamic that was holding your attention was too much of an outer orientation. And this prevented you from coming to a point where you could be relaxed, or soothed, in terms of how something is meant to be, or how something can be.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Into the Abstract

Inner Place

2ee3wWe’ve all heard the phrase: no matter where you go, there you are. We know we can’t leave our problems and issues behind – they travel with us. Our energy can change the “vibe” at a party for good or for bad. And, as this dream shows, we can bring our energetic eccentricities into our sleeping life. This is all pointing to the importance of finding the stillness within ourself, something that we can always be in connection with, no matter the circumstance – because we know that external life is unpredictable. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in my meditation dream, I’m aware of changes in the stillness, as if the stillness vacillates. In other words, it’s almost as if it’s a weather event. And so the stillness can kind of go up and down a little bit; it has a little motion to it.

So I came out of this dream a bit bewildered because this thing is vacillating up and down. And yet wondering, I want to go into the stillness, but it’s vacillating up and down a bit. And yet there is that stillness that predominates. There’s something in there that’s getting blown around.

So when I come out, I don’t come completely out, apparently, but I remember coming out and I noticed that I was cold. And so I just assumed that maybe this is what was causing this sensation of back and forth, because I have slept at times where I might have something strange going on, and I will incorporate all of that into the process of the dreaming. So I assume that, okay, that’s what it is. So I just took this condition into account and went back into the inner space with the intent of searching for the source – in terms of moving to the greater stillness.

The only thing I noticed is after having checked out my physical condition, and determined it to be okay, that when I then was able to let go of maybe something that was somewhat in-between yet, was that I didn’t vacillate now, as if I was being blown around a bit, in the space I was in. So I didn’t vacillate a lot.

Yet the whole situation was, as if all night long, was looking and looking because I had this as an inner agenda, so it was an earmarked approach. So there were no dreams that could happen, no imagery that could happen.

And then when I woke up, because that was where I was at, in terms of spinning, so to speak, within, I couldn’t remember anything else other than a sensation that whatever had happened was at an inner spaciality in which there was nothing that could be noticed from my attention now, even though, further back, the memory of having woken up still infected or affected things a bit, and I was still trying to learn more about the vacillating back and forth demeanor.

It’s as if I’m curious. But once I had woken up and popped my eyes open, and then went back in, I had taken into account whatever might have been some neurosis of concern. And actually then went into a point of non-consciousness, on any subtle level even, but still remembered that to the degree that, when I woke up, that’s what I still held onto. I could glance back at that, which means that I was spinning and abiding upon a mannerism that didn’t go anywhere.

Well, the significance is, obsessing exists on the inner level as well as on the outer. If I’m not pulling out a need from the empty space, I might be vacillating, which is a form of obsessing, except it can be on the inner place level. And if it’s on the inner place level, then you’re going to be still doing something in the outer, or having to think to do something in the outer. Instead, the deep teaching would occur, but I actually then went to being able to, just like in a sleep dream, to just walk off the court. And little did anybody know that when I walked off the court, and may have been dismissed as far as everyone knows, that still something exuded as a presence that held the space. And nobody notices that; it’s invisible.

So what I learned is, I learned in seeing this that in my deep within I was not my usual, absorbent, healing mode about something particular. In other words, the vacillating. I wasn’t hitting that deeper level with that vacillating.

Or, for me to say this in another way, the difference last night is I was not seeing myself having to internalize the particular capacity. Instead, it’s as if I was bored in an energetic outer. Not really, of course, because I would have liked to have played the volleyball game, for example, but, in the sleep thing, there’s a deeper realization – as if you’re bored by having to be caught up in that unmittingly. So the prima materia catalytic stimuli to absolve went to something that was stiller than the vacillation of back and forth – that’s still a type of scanning.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Inner Place

A Different Role

65ggesWhy are we drawn to those who excel at what they do, whether as an athlete, or a business person, or as a creative person? Part of it is because of what they exude, the presence they have from having achieved what they did. We always want to be our best in their presence, and we known, deep down, that some of that “magic” can transfer to us if we are near them enough. This is the true nature of being a teacher, or an elder, to radiate our own development onto others – which makes more possible for them. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: This compares to my sleep dream, in that in the sleep dream I seem to be in a place, or shall I say an environment, in which around me, surrounding me, are some very youthful, significant people that are just naturally this way, very athletic, very gifted and unassuming in their nature about that.

In other words it’s like they just are what they are. And that is the atmosphere. And amidst that atmosphere there is me that is kind of like off to one side, kind of like the old timer in that scenario, or setting, that no one pays too much attention to. I’m harmless.

And so it’s like we’re outside of what could be a castle or a place and, suddenly, there’s this court yard that is a volleyball court yard. And there are the locals that decide to play the game. And I go, hey, this is kind of nice. I kind of like volleyball, and there it is.

And as soon as they play the first game, it’s almost like it’s time for new players, new blood, to come into the game. So from the midst of where I am present steps forward these guys they just, it’s almost like, I don’t know that they even talked amongst themselves as to whether they wanted to play the game, so I’m kind of surprised. They just move on to the court, and I find myself moving on to the court, too.

Well, I realize that we’re the dream team, meaning I might be the old geezer in the batch, and one of them says, so you want to play, too? And I just kind of nod; they’re kind of surprised because these guys are incredible. And I realize that whatever team’s on the other side just doesn’t have a chance.

And I may be the weakest one because I’m the old geezer, but I figure that around these I’ll rise to the game, perhaps. I don’t know that for sure. My days of lore are long gone. So I move into the center, and the center’s along the front line – and that’s the person who sets. And I think: perfect position for me because I can handle that easily.

And suddenly, behind me, I feel the presence of this huge, almost giant, kind of guy. So big he shadows over me. And I’m standing there, he, from behind me goes, I’m the center. And I ignore the first comment. And then, it’s almost like in a bear hug, he towers over me to such degree and almost snarls in his own little way and says: I’m the center.

And I realize, this is his undeniable mannerism. So I say, no problem, and I step off the court. But I know what’s going to happen. In other words, the dream team was in place. And he’s the only one, from what had been kind of a pickup team that had been playing there before, he’s the only one to project himself upon the scene yet.

So, when I go off, I realize that what we’re talking about is an aspect of time. And in a week, you have seven days, and you have six players on a side. So if time is measured by a week, you have six active – and I’m no longer meant, and need, to be active. I have actually paid my dues from ages ago, so that there is a flow that can come through – no matter how dormant and quiet.

In other words, they are still at a different stage of evolution where there is still a kind of activity that is needed. And I’m at a stage where everything is dormant and quiet. And so I step back from that, and, in stepping back from that, I actually carry and hold, in the quietude, that which ensues.

As the quietude, as the silence, that’s what makes what needs to happen, happen. But it can only be that way if one can truly invisible-ize themselves, if one can truly take themselves out of the equation. Not have to have some ego, because if you inject something like that, then it tears something down. It confuses what is able to take place.

There comes a point in time, when you reach a certain threshold, and you’re then meant to go through that threshold and everything is a little different. Maybe prior to that you had to play the role of being this, that, or the other, but now you’re able to effuse the role from a position of presence – out of everything that is going on in the outer as a reflective – that is all being shaped and designed from a stillness.

And you’re meant to shift into the stillness, and you’re not going to be able to be effective in your shift into the stillness, in terms of being able to absorb and handle everything that is going on, in the outer, reflectively. You’re not going to be able to do that if you still have some issue that has yet to be dealt with, or contended with, in your opinion, which means you have to truly, truly let go to be the stillness, And then, when you’re the stillness, then the stimulation that comes up from everything about and around you, that catalytic reflective comes from out of this deeper stillness.

That is why a teacher doesn’t go out and try to do things outwardly. The teacher, instead, if you were to look closely, hands out everything so that others who are still having to live something out, or are still in more of the reflective and haven’t let go of that, so they, then, can do that. And as they become more conscious and aware, they, too, realize that the true role is one of stillness yet, a greater stillness for themselves, just like what the teacher embodied and passed out.

So they, too, pass that on. Thus, that’s how something unfolds in terms of a streamlining within the tariqa of things. So there comes a point in time when you’re able to step out of that and become something, maybe not even an observer anymore, you can have that kind of stillness. Maybe an observer, to a degree, but even that dissipates and dissipates as what you hold on to as a presence is the true epicenter of everything.

Everyone observes the activity of the game that’s afoot, and no one realizes, or recognizes, or notices, that there is something behind all of that which predominates – but it predominates from the standpoint of stillness.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: A Different Role