Jeane: In the next dream, I have a husband I never see clearly until the end and I even wonder if I made him up. We are spies. I’ve been a spy working with another woman who is part of the hierarchy. We have completed our mission and have walked into a room where we are alone. I am thinking about another friend I like who works for the organization. She is a doctor. I suddenly sense that I am being set up by these two women. They are going to inject me with sodium pentothal and debrief me to make sure I am telling the truth. As I realize what they are trying to do I break away and lock myself in a bathroom. The bathroom has a very large wooden window on one side. I think I can crawl out the window, or pretend to, and then sneak out another door. There is just no way I am going to go along with this. Enough is enough! Either they trust me and know I told the truth, or screw them; I’m just not going to cooperate with this.
I am not able to get out the window because the doctor went around and is coming in that window, and the other person is coming through the door. I’m slightly overpowered. Because we are struggling, she partially injects me with the sodium pentothal but drops the syringe; I pick up the syringe and viciously stab her twice – once through the neck and up into her head. Even though I know she is someone I like, if they are going to treat me this way I’m just not standing for it. I’m really mad! Next I have the impression that before they could debrief me my husband arrives, stops it all and takes me away. Perhaps that was just my thought of what I wanted to have happen; I don’t know. I just was so angry that I woke up with an attitude.
John: This one is kind of cute. You are holding onto your concepts: the higher self part of you is saying that all the truth can be released. You are fighting that release. You are not going to take the truth serum. You’re not going to let it come out. You’ll even hurt people to stop this process. They are insistent – that is the whole key. It is in your best interest to let the truth out, yet you cycle through the ideas that they can trust what you have already said, and you will even stab them instead of taking the dosage that will cause the clarity to come in, that will cause you to link or tie in with what is bigger in terms of your higher self. This is a rear-guard action! Even though you are saying “Hey, we are all on the same side here,” you are drawing your line in the sand. That’s your story and you’re sticking with it! Even though there is more information that can come out that’s real and valid, you’re again saying “Enough is enough.”
Going back to the first dream (see Declaring War on God), you feel you have put in your time already, you’ve graduated. You’re not going to go back and chop wood and carry water any more. You are saying “this is how I am, take it or leave it. I am not going to change.”
In playing with the energy this way, you are exposing what’s happening. You’re laying out in black-and-white, in a humorous way, a connection to your higher self that is leaking in through the filters. You are having to sort this out and see where you fit in the equation, and are then setting the parameters upon which you are willing, by choice, to link or connect. Rather than sit there and draw that out, it is easier and is almost more fun to be cranky with the energy and just take on the attitude; dramatize the attitude as opposed to letting go and letting the truth come through in a soothing way.