You Can’t Go Home Again

In yesterday’s entry, Inner Adventure, Jeane described in detail her dream. At first glance, such a dream can seem to make no sense at all. Today and tomorrow, John will take us through those details and help us unwind the complexities.

What will we discover? The insights might be different for each of us, but at its core, this surreal dream actually embodies the kind of simple story that is at the heart of fables and fairy tales.

John: It is amazing that you can remember the details of a dream that has so many things going on. If I had a dream that seemed like such a fantasia, it would be hard for me to remember. It might seem as if your dream is just the product of an active imagination, but in terms of your inner and outer selves (your higher self and your lower self), it isn’t.

In this dream you show the ability to go to a place outside of yourself (from your cave to M.’s cave). And that place is an aspect of your higher self; it’s outside of, and different from, where you normally operate. At the least it is on a higher energy level, because you show the ability to cause things to come into being. Whatever the energetic is, its reach extends throughout the entire atmosphere that you are creating.

That is how it is meant to be for the human. We are capable of attaining a level where whatever we reflect energetically from our inner state causes an immediate effect in the outer state. That is why it is said that the inner and the outer are the same. Or, that the higher self and the outer life can come together.

The problem, though, is that a part of you refuses to accept that it works that way, and that is shown by your feeling that you don’t belong there or are disturbing the situation, i.e., the water going everywhere in M.’s cave. So part of you is feeling alienated, and you experience that as an extraordinary circumstance that makes no sense. As a reaction, part of you then goes off by itself across the plain and continues to do its own thing.

So your self-consciousness rises, causing the energy of the space you have created to fall apart. As a consequence, you have to then go back to where you came from, back into the denseness of the outer world, experienced as your cave. It surprises me that you are actually able to find it or see where it is, because if you spend all your time living in the outer self (ego), you get to the point where you cannot find your (inner) self – there’s no longer a distinction between you and your outer self (your character in your dream and your cave).

So you come back toward the cave, but the journey is increasingly difficult. The trip to your higher self was instantaneous, but coming back the approach is treacherous because that connection does not reflect the same natural state. And in needing to climb down the rock wall and do particular maneuvers, what you are not realizing is that you no longer have the same affinity for the cave that you had before. Having the experience of the uniqueness and expansiveness at the higher level has taken hold of you in some fashion, even though you had to go off to one side from it because it was too much. It still got your attention.

And so when you go back you are actually carrying a bit of the experience of M.’s cave in your nature. That is what creates the trouble. You can’t quite relate to things in the same way; you can’t go home again. Because you are holding that higher energetic, you encounter a force that makes it difficult for you to return to your denser way of being. You initially notice this force as a trepidation; you look around for what can help. You have entered a zone of taking in and letting go: you lose some of your reactivity and you surrender, in a way, to the situation. That is when you are given a glimpse of the aspects from this higher place that have been awakened in you and are now being carried back as an addition to your nature: the unusual collection of people and things coming across the field. You see them as some sort of surreal part of your being.

It is almost as if what has been awakened in you is an experience of the connection between being (your cave) and non-being (a part of your higher self). In other words, you cannot completely come back to your cave because a change has taken place. And that change is a sense of what it is to be merged in non-being – it is an experience of the other side (the higher side of yourself). Some aspects of the experience you were able to handle, so there they are, being carried across the field toward your cave, your outer life. They are staying with you. And, perhaps, you will need a different cave to accommodate them.

For further discussion of this dream, see Creating Reality.

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