The Spider (Part III): Nothing to Fear

John: There is quite a lot going on in this dream [for the full thread of this journey, see The Spider (Part I), and The Spider (Part II): The Chase is On].

It starts off with you being in a building, and then you leave to get away from something. So you get into a car and still it is pursuing you. That feeling of being pursued means there is something inside your being that is trying to open up, that is a force within you in terms of who you really are. This force seems a little bit too much for you, so you run to the car. The car shows another aspect of yourself, and this time you are really trying to get away. The imagery of your pursuers was described as “an infinite number of gangster types,” so you are creating a barrier against the quality or force that is trying to open up. You create this barrier to the process so that the force doesn’t totally overwhelm you. Because this force or quality is something you are unsure of, you experience it as a threat of death. You are trying to temper the flow to something more manageable; you want to go at this at a different pace.

This still shows us how the energetic unfolds, in terms of the way you are able to ride the wave of this experience – you find each time a way to elude your pursuers. This experiential view is in relationship to yourself, but you can see it in the action of the outer plane, after you have left the building (inner). In this particular case, it is best to examine how you are relating to the outer: are you confronting it directly, or indirectly? And what you describe indicates that you are acknowledging what is trying to emerge inside, but because it feels like too much, you leave the building and get into the vehicle, but that doesn’t end the chase. You then put up additional barriers to prevent this energetic from opening up, because the consequences are frightening to you. It might lead to a type of death within you, in which you would lose yourself (your ego) to the guidance of the inner. This emerging force of the inner may be something you ultimately want, yet it is frightening to feel that loss of yourself too directly.

The rest of the dream shows you trying to sort out where you stand in relationship to this process. After running around, a part of you gets the idea that it is okay to pause and let it reach you. That keeps you oriented to something inside. If you did not allow for the pause, for the moment when it can touch you, your dream imagery would tend to spiral further off as a way of saying “No,” or it would maintain a kind of veil between you and that potentiality. So you allow it to catch up with you a bit, and then you recognize this force as something that is vital to you, something that has the quality of a teacher. In the beginning you see it as separate and distinct, but in the end you see it as yourself.

In other words, when your fear subsides for a moment, and you get the sense of the teachers nearby, the state that you are then in is closer to a state of non-being. It is a non-being state because there still is that sense of otherness, which is an important and vital message in terms of what stills needs to unfold for you personally. You have, more or less, been induced to stop resisting so vehemently, and to recognize that there is something to that non-being state, which actually is – as you are shown in your dream – a quality that resonates and teaches and unfolds and touches things in life. That is what the non-being state is, it’s something that has extension beyond you in the way that it connects more deeply.

And your reaction is very interesting when this is fully presented to you. It is similar to the first part of the dream with the spider. Initially there was a veil, and a certain distance to it, and the spider was dormant. After a kick, it seemed the spider was dead. Then when it came back to life it activated a certain state of awareness. Then the dream progressed to being inside the house (your inner self), and your state of awareness required that you respond. What are you going to do about it? And we see that again your reaction was to run from the threat.To fully accept this emerging force will require letting go of the ego’s hold on reality, and that can feel scary and manifests that way for you. But letting go is what you want to do, and this process helps you see that this force is not as menacing as it appears to be. It takes you a step closer. So you ultimately relax back into that knowledge, and when you do, the force is able to touch you, to infuse through you, and that can then be manifested outwardly.


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