Getting Sorted

Jeane: I was dreaming a repeat dream: at the beginning of the dream, it feels like it is the end. I know that I experienced this twice.

I have in my hand what looks like the outside of a file folder and there are things written on each sheet in the folder. I have put it into a clear plastic case and put that into a machine that scans it. I also want the machine to sort it, but I realize that although the machine can scan, it might not really be able to sort.

So then I’m wondering, do I want it to sort by how much is on each page, and put a number on it, and can it actually do that? Or do I have to figure out how to do that? Do I do that by hand, and then exactly what would the sorting criteria be? Is it by how much is on each page so that #1 would be the shortest? I am not really sure how I want it sorted once it is scanned.

That part of the dream I remember having twice. I also had a dream in between, but I could not even pull one image out from that middle dream. 

John: It is complicated, and you are lucky to remember any of it because it incorporates a detail aspect that you are struggling to figure out – how you want to sort it – and that is an issue of clarity. But that issue is within an overall context of trying to get something to merge together. You are trying to bring two parts together: the part that sorts, and the part that scans. Some part of you is struggling with that, because a gap exists between these two aspects.

Sorting is one function and scanning is another function. Somehow, you feel that it should not be. You feel it should all happen together naturally and, as a consequence, the part of you that is trying to think it through is still looking at it in a lower-self way as being separate. The higher-self part of you knows that it should be possible to do both.

So in-between your higher-self knowing and the separated view of your lower self, there is an imbalance that you are trying to bridge. It can drive you crazy (all the different sorting scenarios) as you fumble trying to find that connection between the two. You do that in terms of trying to find something in-between. You (the feminine) come from the standpoint of holding onto something as a natural composure, a natural sense of wholeness that takes both sides into account.

So in other words, you are able to reach a particular connection with the higher self where you can feel a vibration that has a wholeness to it, but you still grapple with the fact that it is not translating through into the outer world. It doesn’t manifest in the outer reality. This serves to undermine your self-confidence, your sense of self. It actually creates a huge internal distortion. To be sitting there groping to bring these two aspects together has got to feel weird. But that is the nature of how the feminine works to pull the parts of oneself into cohesion, in which one can be integrated into wholeness.

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