Yesterday we saw how John, as a baseball pitcher in his dream, struggled to throw a pitch over the plate (see No Joy in Mudville). He could envision it perfectly, but could not make it happen in the game. This dichotomy left him feeling his “inner confidence obliterated.” This seems a very common dream scenario, where the stress comes from being unable to simply do what you expect yourself to be able to do. Let’s dig into this a little deeper.
John: In the dream imagery I was shown, I felt my confidence was being obliterated. As the dream began I could feel the energetic inside (on a higher level) where I could control the game with unhittable pitches. I felt a great confidence. Yet I could not translate that confidence into the outer world of the dream (the baseball game). That happened because I was not fully connected to it. Higher self energetics need to be brought down safely – and without distortion – into the lower self where they can then be projected into the outer world and realized as an outcome. You could say that is the role of the human, to be a facilitator of the high energetic worlds into the denser reality we experience. That is what it means to be in the flow. But we are often so disconnected from this process, we hinder it and prevent it from its natural outcomes. To bring a higher energetic into the outer world requires extreme care to not impose the ego self upon it. If I impose my ego self, then the outcome that I envision becomes impossible.
Of course, that is what I did. I imposed myself into the situation, and then I created a counter reflection, in the form of the batter, which is the other part of me, that is also undeniable in its way. These biases, on either side, contaminate and disrupt the continuity of the energetic that wants to flow through. If I let my biases and psychologies have their way, I am, in effect, hurting my life. I must gain awareness and reduce their influence on me as much as possible, because their destructiveness knows no end.
In analyzing this dream, I can also see the trouble I am having catching up with the energy that is descending from higher in my being. What I was shown, essentially, was a quality that has to do with a sense of knowing that inspires me to get in the baseball game, and to know how the outcome should be. That knowing comes from the higher, down into my nature – from the higher self into me – and I have that access naturally. But the distortion shown in the dream, where I ultimately can’t control the pitches, points out the huge gap that exists in me between the higher self and the lower self, because I need to be able to draw aspects from both levels into an in-between space to create a flow. It’s like if the gap in a spark-plug is too far apart to allow the spark to transfer. So I notice this gap, and during my struggle to pull the two sides together the distortion occurs in the imagery of the dream. As a result, I end up consumed by that imbalance and nothing I had envisioned is possible.
The thing that triggered this dream was an interaction I had in real life. I was having a conversation with a friend about something I had seen, and even though he had not seen it himself, he already had an opinion of what happened. So, basically, he wanted to hear the story only in the way he had predetermined it would be. In effect, he was letting his preformed opinions cut himself off from being able to experience or catch up with the facts. So, in a roundabout way, this is how it can work with the higher self when our ego gets involved.
If you impose your lower self patterns on the knowings of the higher self, you preempt the information you are being shown and end up distorting it, because you have processed it through the prism of your ego self. We should know that anything coming from the higher part of ourselves should be listened to and kept as undistorted as possible – it should be merged with us through a reaching up of the lower self – that way it can have a purer influence on what manifests in our outer lives.
So we saw how in your dream you tried to resolve this imbalance between the higher and lower by finding the proper way to scan and sort together, and I tried to resolve it by getting beyond a certain awkwardness that I feel. The reason I feel that awkwardness is because I get the sense of something trying to come through, a clarity, but that clarity runs into confusion inside me. So I get this fuzziness about it, and if you keep this sort of fuzziness up… well, we’ll see how silly things can get in the next dream.