Inner Composure

John: I am making copies for a business associate, someone I actually know in the outer world, to explain to him what is happening. He holds a very powerful position, yet still turns to me for a fresh perspective on the industry. So I am making copies of a document and I say to him, “I hope that you can understand from these copies.” Part of me wants to give him the originals, thinking they’ll be easier to read. In other words, so he’ll be able to see the real light, not a second hand version. Yet I also am aware that, even though the copies are black and white, they are legible if you look at them properly – if you know how to see them for what they are. As I look at my associate, he suddenly appears a lot younger than I imagined. His facial features are shining and bright and his hair is well groomed. We part from each other having reawakened our camaraderie in a fresh new way.

So this is describing an aspect of the light as looked at from the perspective of the other side, rather than the literal view of things. When I awoke, I wrote this down: “The ‘copies’ are reflections of something that is closer to what is really going on.” My associate’s face appears brighter and younger because this imagery shows a “catching up” with the light. His features would appear darker if he was still coming from a literal perspective of the outer world. Since he is shown as shiny and bright, it says that he is not caught up in the external illusion.

So that’s the first dream.

In the second dream, I see myself having to sit upon a seat so that I can be transported across an open space. It is a little seat with no sides and a virtually invisible thread is pulling it as it goes straight across this high elevation from one point to another. So I see myself able to sit on the seat that is transporting me with nothing to hold onto and without falling off.

In order to do that I have to just sit there completely calm and composed. If I look down and get frightened, or react in any fashion that breaks my sense of surrender, the situation will become precarious. If I think of it as frightening, it will become frightening. If I panic in any way, I’ll fall off or come crashing down. But, if I am able to maintain my composure and take in the journey that is unfolding within the great space of things, then I’m able to travel with ease, without holding on.

In the next image, I again see myself sitting in a chair, but now I am waiting, as you would while waiting to see the doctor. I am fidgeting, sitting there with my elbows on my knees, leaning forward, lost in a trance. I have something in my hands that I’m fiddling with, but I’m not even cognizant that I’m doing that. By running this nervousness back and forth, I am causing crumbs to fall upon the floor.

When I see this it is embarrassing, because nothing else is happening; I am just sitting waiting for something to occur. And yet I am acting this nervous. So I clean up the crumbs because I feel ridiculous. I’m telling myself, “Just sit there. You haven’t been called yet.” The next thing I know, after having cleaned up the mess, I glance down and see that more crumbs have fallen on the floor. I am supposed to surrender to the process. If I’m not able to be that way, then I’m not able to appreciate the results as they happen, or basically go along with the greater expanse of things. I have to contend with literalness. In order to cope, you have to basically be in a state of emptiness.

These dream images are forcing me to see that I am supposed to be reflective, in terms of outer relationships, in a way that protects me from getting weighed down by circumstances. If I don’t let outer conditions affect me in a personal way – meaning things that are beyond my control – I can do the impossible, like going across an empty space without holding on and without feeling fear.

The first image of the chair in the open space shows me the awareness of how I need to be. The next image shows me that I have got to do more than try; I have to be able to not react inside. It requires total composure both outwardly and inwardly.

Basically this means that I have to be in a state of emptiness. In the first image I have a little better handle on that. But in the second, I act like I can handle it, but it’s not genuine; I am reacting left and right, so to speak, and the crumbs are piling up. I am unable to simply sit in the chair and take in the flow without making an unconscious mess.

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