Murder, She Wrote

Jeane: So, continuing with the dream (see The Conversation), it feels like I’ve gotten to D.’s house and K. is there with her son. I’m in one of those moods where you just have to accept things and let them play out. I’m just glad to see K., but they were all planning to travel somewhere. We start out and I’m still not sure of the relationship between K. and D., who is traveling with the Native American man as I said. It seems like there’s at least one younger boy with us besides K.’s son, who’s older, and when we stop for the night it feels like we’re on this mountain near a plateau that has a series of caves that connect in a circle. K. and her son and I seem to be staying in one cave, and the others, D. and the Native American man, are staying in another cave. Then it seems as though there are some other caves where maybe some boys are staying. It feels like at some point I become aware that there’s someone out there who’s a murderer and he particularly murders young boys. I become aware on some level that it’s probably the Native American man.

John: He’s a murderer?

Jeane: I thought he was an Indian Chief or something, but no, he’s a murderer who has fooled everybody. The men aren’t around right then, so I go out and find a place where they have some guns, and these guns look a little bit more like automatic weapons or rifles or something, so I get two of them and I take them back and give one to K. and her son. She takes the one I’m most familiar with. I have to take the gun I’m not familiar with because she only knows how to operate the other one. I go out and I start searching through the caves to get the boys.  When I enter the cave where the Native American man had been staying I find a very young boy and he might be dead… I can’t seem to rouse him.

John: A young boy was killed?

Jeane: Yes.

John: Where did the young boy come from?

Jeane: He was just traveling with us. There are a few young boys in the caves in the mountain. The caves go in a circle. I go into another cave and someone is covered up under a sheet. I kind of prod at them with the gun because it might be the Native American man, but it’s somebody else I haven’t seen. There’s a cave with a young boy in it who’s okay. I’m just trying to check and rouse anybody and get them all back together in one place. We’ll see if we can find D. or whomever so K. and I have a little more protection or something. Meanwhile, I’m walking around the caves. That’s all I recall of that dream.

John: So this is a really good dream because yesterday we saw your attention establishing how you identify the various parts of yourself; here there is something about K. that’s exciting and refreshing. You put her on a bit of pedestal because it’s a feminine aspect of you that you’re more at ease with. As you go about in life you’re able to relate to her in a more fluid way than with D., who represents a masculine aspect that is still a bit of a mystery – you’re still somewhat out of touch with it. For some reason, that’s what is stirring up this element of fear, or a murder even, that is caught up in the aspect of the young boy, who is also you, an inner part that has a quality of acceptance. In other words, an older man usually is a quality of something ancient and harder to reach. A young boy is a quality that has to do with something that touches you but is repressed from being fully out there on the surface, and we see that it’s being killed or affected by this Indian man who represents the greater whole.

You have now changed the triad to where you aren’t holding onto anything. In other words, you’re forgiving and gracious, you don’t have the judgment you showed in the earlier part toward K., whom you recognize is an overflow of yourself. You do however have a concern that hasn’t sorted itself out regarding the part of you that’s repressed, that has a soft, youthful heartfulness to it. Of course, there’s something in the greater overall that will affect what you try to hold as precious as an inner quality (your idea of a softness, or heartfulness, represented by the young boy).  All of this is connected – understanding that dynamic is connected – to being able to grasp the meaningfulness of the part of yourself called D.

So again this is kind of a complicated dynamic. Everyone has a kind of Rubik’s cube in the way they grasp or understand something. In other words, you’ve taken a dilemma and developed an acuity where you do something quite noble: you’ve separated yourself out so you don’t put any of this trouble on the aspect of you that is K. You recognize that you’re dealing with a state of ignorance that has to do with the more innocent side of yourself (the young boy) and the masculine side of yourself (D.). The natural understanding of these aspects is being affected, being killed so to speak, by the greater wholeness, and this is confusing to you. Where does this leave you with the aspect of you that is D.?

I actually think there’s a pattern unfolding here. The K. aspect came out okay, yet the process was affecting the more sensitive part that you’re guarding inside. When that is killed by the greater wholeness…  I honestly think that the net effect is that D. becomes like K. then, and is an aspect that is accepted as part of the overall.

Leave a Reply