The Fall Back

Jeane: To understand this next dream I have to describe an outer reality. When I was young, we used to live in a house that had a daylight basement and I eventually had a room there. I would sleep down there and later it became a recreation room. You and I have gone to stay with my folks and we are staying in that room.

We are recording dreams there but the digital recorder won’t work, so we switch to cassette tapes. As we’re going along recording dreams – it’s the second day we’re there – there’s a problem with the electricity, so you decide to test out how the tapes are working. You can play them through a hi-fi setup that is in the corner. You push a button and start playing them and sure enough we do have a problem because we have lost some dreams by recording over the tape. I’m thinking that we’re going to have to do something different. We have gone out and I have a list in my mind of some things we will have to get to fix all this.

We go downtown to the department store that my folks used to have and you want to talk to my sister. She isn’t working there that day; my folks are less involved with the store than they used to be. You seem upset about that so I take you upstairs to the offices. It used to have two built-out areas on the side above the store, where we stored things. When we get up there those two areas have been somewhat deconstructed.

One is actually really old wood and the sides are now gone and it has been blocked off from people walking there. You actually wander over and I know it’s not stable. It’s obviously being deconstructed. I kind of pull you back into a place where it feels safer and more stable. It almost seems like you are a younger man. I have a list of things I think we’ll need and, although I could go some place to get all the items, I would have to travel. I’m thinking if I could walk to one of the stores nearby and get them, you’ll be less upset.

You just seem to want to talk about going to the park and flying a kite, or something about a kite. This keeps making me revise what we might need to do because I don’t want to get you any more upset. I am not used to seeing you upset or regressed like that. So I am trying to figure out the smoothest way to get all of this together so we can continue with the recordings.

John: So this is your fifth dream in the sequence, and what is happening is that this ongoing scenario has built up to something, but it can’t break through. It can’t break through because there is a lack of togetherness or energetic balance. As a consequence, instead of the fourth dream breaking through (see The Shape of Things), the fourth and now the fifth in this particular case became a fall back. It shows the power that agitation or confusion, or dense energy, has to cut off a flow. As a consequence, this is doing a lot of damage in terms of what is meant to naturally unfold. We can see the imagery now shows confusion sweeping over the situation – the problem with the recordings, the rooms coming apart – and that confusion is building instead of diminishing. You attempt to fix it by going into an area where the energy is meant to be resolved (the family store), but everything is in disorder there too and you can’t seem to balance it out.

So, what you are portraying is a breakdown because (a) you are not able to absorb that energy, and (b) it’s getting worse. To a degree, it’s an energetic reflection of our relationship in the outer. I’ve noticed I’ve gotten more righteous and weird in that regard recently and have been shutting you off in a certain way when ordinarily I don’t. As a consequence, this is creating a rift. Your dreams are setting up a possible breakthrough about it, but perhaps also a breakdown.

In a psychological way, this is subtly tripping a self-consciousness in you – reopening a defensive wound – that then creates a veiling from your natural overall flow. The human condition is such that it always defaults to the denser energy, i.e., the fall back position is a return to old patterns. So, the more subtle energy that brings things through naturally is being stymied by this default position, preventing the breakthrough to resolve the issue.

Usually when you get to a fourth or fifth dream you hit a state of completion or something comes through and it’s all brand new information. It can bring an awareness that is unique to you, but also new information for all of life. This is the first time you came up to the fourth and fifth and the lower-self aspect that looms in the background won out. That’s interesting.

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