Confidence Game

Here we have the second dream, following on from Outside Looking In and Working Together.

John: I am in a cheap motel room with a woman. The two twin beds are next to each other, but one faces one way, and the other faces the opposite way. In other words, if I were lying next to the woman my feet would be up by her head. However, I can tell that I’m supposed to be somewhere else, in my proper home, and I should meet up with this woman in the morning. I’m unsettled because it’s late, and I need to get back home where I belong. Still, being in the motel has me fidgeting and not catching up with what I need to see.

As I fidget I’m trying to peel two blankets apart so that the maid’s job is easier in the morning when she cleans the room. This focus is consuming my attention. If I can just get the two layers, which are connected, peeled back just a little bit, that will be enough. The maid can then simply pull the two blankets apart. They are stuck together, and the object is to overcome the stickiness, and everything else will fall into place.

The woman determines that I am spending an inordinate amount of time trying to make this happen, and from her perspective the whole thing is unnecessary – the dilemma doesn’t exist. She feels I should either take the blanket off and be done with it, or leave it for the maid. The maid knows how to handle it and I am making a big deal about nothing.

I think the meaning of this dream is that, for some reason, a separation exists. If one attempts to play with the gap, it becomes an unnecessary and sticky mess that is absurd. This dilemma is caused by a mood, a belief, or an attitude that is being carried by me. From a more connected perspective, there is no need to be entangled in this situation.

The problem exists because I have taken on an issue that is not my concern. I do this because I’m unable to let go of my thought processes. The woman’s attitude is: why bother to separate something that is connected together, because it will just create a mess? Either leave the blanket alone, or let another person, who has the responsibility to deal with it, deal with it. In either case there is no effort required on my part. Instead the effort that I am making is an avoidance that makes no sense.

The way I see the two dreams come together is that, in the first dream, I’m trying to come closer to a quality inside myself, and in the second dream I’m trying to let go and be with the flow. In both instances I need to trust that what is there is enough, without my taking on added responsibility.

I can come closer to that resolution if I can get the outside friend in the first dream to connect to what he already has that he is separated from by a very, very slight barrier – a type of confidence even. For me to simply act as if this slight barrier is a non-issue is to rationalize further the sticky stuff in the second dream. I can’t be helped if I’m unwilling to help this other part of me. The letting go in one area, in the second dream, is the opening up of something in the first dream – they’re both essential.

Well, that was a pretty complicated set of dynamics there. Did you follow it?

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