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Archive for July, 2010

John: The beauty in this dream is that you’re really, really close to catching up with something (the dream being discussed is The Manuscript). The theme of the dream has to do with something that belongs to you, that’s embedded inside of you as a huge reservoir, that at some point was taken away or shut off from you. The time has arrived to come back to that after having been gone from it for a long, long time.

Whenever it was that this reservoir became veiled from you, it was veiled with a type of heaviness, a certain fear or reservation about coming back to it because of the way it was mishandled previously. Now that you’ve become lighter about it, you’re beginning to pick up some initial leakage of its energy. It’s shown in the quality of bending space like you do in the dream.

So you show this dexterity and joy in two ways: in the exuberance and playfulness with the rifles, and with the secretary pretending to be a common secretary, with an important manuscript lying out in the open. A part of you still carries the hiddenness, while another part of you has recognized that leaving everything out in the open is the best course of action. So when something is coming at you as a problem – that would be perceived by others as a problem – to you it can be exhilarating.

Jeane: You would have loved that energy.

John: That’s a tremendous space to be in, to be able to welcome the upheavals and everything that happens, as opposed to sitting there all jittery and scared, or panicky, or whatever characteristic surfaces when faced with problems. Instead, you embrace it:  It’s wow! This is incredible! It’s like seeing the whole potentiality of something, the whole opportunity to open up something else.

 

And so the very best way to open things up, in the most dynamic and expansive sense, is to be able to have this exuberance and joy at the moments when other people would be freaking out at the unfolding scenario. You are actually quickened by the whole thing. When that happens, there is even the natural humor built into it – waving in the SWAT team and basically saying “He went thataway!”

The ability to do that is the same sense of humor, slightly denser, of just hiding the manuscript in plain sight. Now, the subterfuge that that shows is still the problem. The idea that something has to be guarded and protected and can’t just exist in such a way that it’s naturally invisible. So you still feel you have to encapsulate it within an element of creative hiding.

 

In other words, you know how the dense world thinks, so you ratchet it up a little bit so you can out-maneuver the density with a little dexterity. The thread of that still originates from the idea that there’s something to safeguard. You want to get to the point where there’s nothing to safeguard. That’s what’s being shown with the guy running out there on the porch, but even in that there’s a part of you that can’t quite accept it so you end up with the guns pointed at him.

So there is a little flicker that still stands in the road to this, but it looks kind of small in comparison to the whole action. The whole action is a letting go. It’s a freedom. It’s a joy. There’s no tone or heavy mood that’s in the way. So, what opens up underneath is a huge, much fuller dimension in oneself, and that’s what you’re trying to get to. That’s what’s sitting there, just waiting to emerge, and it doesn’t take much.

We continue this discussion in: The Fall.

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Jeane: In this next dream I’m at a famous author’s house; two friends have taken me there to meet him. When we go into his house there is a small concrete porch that leads down to another enclosed porch with a door that goes into a split-level living room. It’s more informal than the house’s main living room. I’m sitting there being introduced to the author by my two friends. We’re talking. He’s 56, I know that comes up somewhere in the dream.

We’re talking about his books but there’s not much energy around all that. Then suddenly someone from across the room, with more energy, mentions that the author is writing, or just completed, a book that has cocaine in the title. It’s not about cocaine, but the title is “Cocaine Blue” or something. When he says that, the energy becomes really charged, and I can even see the title page of this book. The title is a whole sentence, and there’s a strange symbol on the page. It’s kind of complicated. When this guy says the name, it just brings all this energy into the room.

At the same time, the author becomes aware that there are some people on their way over, an armed gang, that plan to hold him hostage to get this manuscript. The author hops up, gets all energized, and goes up to the outer porch area.

As this gang comes onto the porch they look like a SWAT team, with hoods on their heads and body armor and they’re carrying long rifles they point at everything in sight. The author is on the porch excitedly directing them into the house as fast as he can, as though he’s one of them. Just as the last three or four are on the porch, they realize that there’s something wrong with this scene.

One of them turns around and points the rifle right at him. The author turns and just kind of takes out part of the barrel and then he pushes it in. With the other rifle, he takes it and he speaks into the end of it like it’s megaphone, telling them to go on into the house! This has them so confused that they are in a crisis as to what they’re going to do. He’s carrying all this energy, so the observer in me that’s watching this is thinking “Ah, he’s got this place booby-trapped. He’s been waiting for this scenario!”

Meanwhile, I’m down in the living room alone. Because I now know about the manuscript, the author is looking a lot more interesting. I’m even wondering whether he would be any good in bed! I’m tempted all of a sudden. I’m also concerned about the manuscript so to stay focused on business I go over and I suddenly see the title page of the manuscript and I start focusing on the symbol. Then it’s as if I fall into another dimension as this symbol opens up with these yellow colors and all this other stuff.

It’s as though I walked up to the page and my head fell into it. That’s the only way I can describe it. I’m in another dimension. And then I pull back and of course the whole page, the title and the symbol, disappears. Now I’m thinking, “I have to get this manuscript and hide it before the people come in.” So I get an image in my mind’s eye that I don’t see him typing it on a computer. I know he has written it by hand.

That’s probably why he wants me here: he was going to hire me as a secretary to type it up. I realize there’s another level below the level I’m on, and I think there is a room for a secretary. I’m thinking, “I bet if I found the manuscript and scattered the pages a little bit and put other things on top of them and sat there, they’d just think this is the secretary working on her paperwork.” And they’ll miss the fact that the manuscript is there.

So this is my plan. Then I glance at the secretary’s room and realize I don’t know where the manuscript is. So I think and I think. “Okay, it’s handwritten. The only place he would have handwritten it is in the bedroom.” Now the bedroom is at the very bottom of these steep stairs, and there’s a mid-level that the secretary’s office is on. It feels like I do this motion where my feet become skis and my right hand is on the railing, and I must ski down the stairs. I go so fast down the stairs it’s unbelievable.

At the bottom, I could see the bedrooms. I see the symbol on the wall next to the door before I go to the bedroom, which is to the left. I’m going to go in there, and I’m sure I can find the manuscript.

Now, at this point, the observer part of me is watching the me that is going into the bedroom and says, “Uh-oh. I bet this guy’s booby-trapped the room and she doesn’t know it.” Then my alarm rang. I was so annoyed. I was having such a good time in this dream. How dare that alarm ring!

Tomorrow we unfold the deeper themes at play in this dream, part comedy, part thriller, in Hiding in Plain Sight.

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Jeane: I’ve become aware that someone associated with a van has killed a man who is an older brother that I didn’t even know I had. The police have put out a bulletin: “If anyone sees this van with X numbers on it,” and all that, to get in contact with them.

Then the dream focuses on me at the funeral. I’m responsible for people getting up and speaking about his life. I’m sitting in the very back. There are a lot of people at the funeral. People, including my cousins, are getting up and talking. I have an older sister that I also can’t seem to relate to, who is crying. Apparently she was pretty close to him.

There’s a line of people on the side of the wall and I want to go over to that line. Then I’ll be one of the last people; I can go up and summarize things. I’m thinking it’s very good that all these people are speaking because I can’t even remember him. I’m wondering if one of my parents was perhaps married before, or maybe he was just that much older.

Then the scene shifts slightly and I’m seeing the sister that was close to him sitting in front of a table….

John: That’s a switch in energy again. First of all, it’s very positive that the scene is one where everything is taken out – all your memory is gone. If you’re at a funeral, you don’t dwell upon a person’s imperfections (your associations), you’re going to remember the essence of them that shone through. So you have little or no memory about this masculine energetic in the form of a brother.

In this case, it’s about recognizing something that was a spark. All that’s left is the spark, or essence, that has touched you. Consequently, that’s a freedom, and that freedom then fills the breath. So that’s what that image is doing.

Jeane: It must be after the funeral and an older sister (I don’t know her very well either) is kneeling in front of a table set up like an altar. There are different things propped up on it, maybe a book and on the cover is a picture of the brother, and maybe some things are written there. She is in tears.

Next I’m looking at the bulletin that the police put out, you know, for the van with a certain number on it. And then I’m looking around and I’m having two thoughts simultaneously. One, when I see her sadness, I realize that maybe because she was older that she was closer to him, that she has a knowledge of him that I don’t.

And then I’m thinking that any of these people walking or sitting near me could have been the person driving the van that killed him. It’s like I just don’t know. So I’m looking at them a little bit and wondering. That was that whole thing.

John: Now, the dream did switch of course. What occurred with your sister (which means a part of your self) asks the question, when an equation of life is dropped before you, to what degree can you relate backwards in terms of memory?

There are two types of memory, memory that goes to the essence, and memory that travels the synapses. So this dream is like one of those tests where I might ask you for the first thing that comes to mind. If I say “up,” you might say “down.” If I say “cold,” you might say hot.” If I say “black,” you might say “white.” Then if I say “ turpid,” you don’t know what to say. Your thoughts will have to jump somewhere else.

All of that is the synaptic approach to memory, based on associations. So when your sister is crying, technically speaking (on a higher level), she is crying because of the associations that she’s still attached to, in terms of her synaptic memory.  And she (that part of you) needs forgiveness from those associations because they create heartache for her, instead of a sense of freedom.

So, the perspective you experience in the dream, with no memory of the brother, frees you from that kind of heartache. There is a masculine essence that you were trying to hold onto, yet you weren’t quite reaching. You are told you had a brother, yet you don’t remember anything, which says you missed the essence.

So then you shift. You try a little harder. The sister part inside you, or this other part that has a connection to the brother, is sitting there grieving and crying because that part of you is interceding with the synaptic associations, but that’s still one step removed from the essence.

So, what’s the crying really about? It’s about the failure to catch up with the freedom of the essence. Actually, it’s a form of forgiveness. It’s a release, a letting go. If she is able to do it properly, then the freedom will exist. If she can’t do it properly, then your sister (aspect) keeps feeling the loss (because she can’t drop the associations that stand between her and the essence).

From your higher perspective, you are seeing this. So the dream’s higher octave is telling you that because you’re putting certain perceptions or certain images in the way, it’s keeping you from reaching a certain quality of essence that’s there.

It’s like you’ve created a state of ambivalence for yourself: you don’t have the essence, and you also don’t have the associations (memories) that prevent a type of forgiveness. The process of letting go is very similar to what your sister was doing. Can she do that? Can she drop what she recognizes as memorable that she still is attached to? If she can, she sets herself free.

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