Expectations (Not So Great)

John: The dream, described in Up on the Roof, portrays how we create karma in our lives – basically create problems for ourselves – for no good reason at all. When we enter into a situation already feeling awkward and peculiar, those characteristics manifest in the outer, so we unconsciously create the qualities that we then experience. That’s karma.

Sometimes we feel comfortable and in the flow of things, other times we are more self-conscious or reactive to circumstances that make us feel uncomfortable or out of balance with ourselves. Those fears and anxieties have the effect of a monkey wrench being thrown into the works. When we have an expectation of how something might be, we generate preemptive energy in the direction of those expectations. That can set-up a self-fulfilling situation where events unfold precisely because of the energies we are generating into the moment.

Of course when we create these imagined or exaggerated scenarios within ourselves, it not only throws us out of balance, but it can block our receptivity to important information about what is really going on. We can miss the signals. I have even noticed how these energetic qualities can affect my dream process, because when I’m reactive I lose acuity on a level that I now understand to be like a pranic vibration within a kundalini force. I lose that insight that’s like a deeper capacity to be conscious and insightful about the events that are occurring.

The dream becomes almost a nightmare as a byproduct of my imagination running wild at what is unknown. Because I am not clear enough to see through to the secondary causes of what’s really going on, I begin to fabricate possibilities.

In the dream, I was interested to see what was going on with the strange behavior of the man. I was assuming that there was something there to be grasped, but I ended up getting a traumatic shock when I went into the dark opening and the man was still in there. Instead of me being calm, I allowed my reaction to affect me and, therefore, the unfolding of the dream showed me fleeing the scene imagining I was being chased.

My curiosity was okay, to a point. But then I go off on a frenzied escape because I’ve run into something I hadn’t expected and I’m unable to handle it, or flow with it. And my over-reaction has a lot to do with expectations: I am not allowing the energy I came upon to sort something out on its own – I interfere with it and get a shock.  There is a lack of grace in that. As a consequence I push off from it rather than accepting it and recognizing it for what it is. If I just react to the confusion, then I’ve done nothing to help the situation, to bring light into it.

So what I could have quite easily done is just be content with the facts of what was happening, and accept them. I could have stayed and faced what the man was doing. But I didn’t do that. Instead I felt that I was violating something, or I got a shock because it was not according to my expectations. So I took off running.

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