Not Getting It On You

John: I somehow got the meaning of this dream yesterday (see Awakening). It relates to my outer life, where I’m working on a situation that has some very dark energy associated with it – even the state government has gotten involved. It’s dealing with some very powerful forces that have taken and manipulated things to their benefit, and now I have to deal with some of those forces by writing a detailed letter.

For days now I have been doing this, venting about all the egregious behavior in this situation. And what has been happening is that I have been given all kinds of hints that something is not right in what I’m doing. Even my computer has acted up so that I have to walk away from it for a while. It is a strange, unsettling process to go through. But after a few drafts where I am ranting and raving, I settled down and took all the venom out of the letter and just stated the facts as I know them.

So the dream scenario shows that what I’m dealing with is loaded. It’s a loaded scenario and I have to navigate it carefully or I will get the filth on me, like in the thicket with the bird-doo. And I have to make sure not to stir things up, because that could make it worse. But I still have to get through the thicket to the clearing.

A great teacher discussed an example of how this works. She described a student of hers, an older woman, who oversaw a secretarial pool staffed with a lot of younger women. The young women were always talking about lipstick and boys. She had the responsibility for the work to get done, but the women were just kind of unconscious about it. So she began to resent the women for not being more mature.

So she complains to the teacher, and finally the teacher tells her that this situation would not be happening if there wasn’t something that she needed to go through, that she needed to experience in order to be done with it and be able to move on to the next place. The woman needed to take a look at her own attitude and mannerisms and see if she could somehow let go of, or transcend, her judgments. After all, the young women were just being young women.

Time goes on. As circumstances would have it, the woman takes a vacation far away, someplace where she can completely let go of everyday life. And as soon as she comes back, she gets promoted out of her job to a job with a separate office of her own, no longer overseeing the young women. When she tells the teacher about it, the teacher says she “must have gotten it.” So now her life has moved on to something else.

So my dream suggests that I got it, that I made it through and that I can now get on to something else, i.e, the excitement I feel to be back on familiar terrain. Because this was an unusual situation to go through, and the way I was handling it – venting my anger in the letter – would have stirred things up for a long time to come.

And what a waste of time it would have been, not to mention the personal burden of having to deal with this dark energy for a long period. When I try to unravel a problem that I have in my life, in which I have gotten myself twisted up, I can get caught in the maze of venting; it takes over. So I lose my clarity and the venom can gain momentum so I no longer know how to stop. I can spend hours at something and get absolutely nowhere because I have too much stirred up inside.

In that state it’s like I feel things as a personal wound, and then I get an almost righteous attitude about doing something about it. There’s a quality in me that loves to disturb, that’s into a good fight or something. We all do it to a degree: when we get into anger, part of us likes the anger, and when we get into some stress, part of us likes the stress.

We seem to think that we should take these situations head-on, almost wrestle with them, when it’s better just to step away and not feed energy into them. It’s like the idea where you should “throw love at it.” Or if you know how, to just be in a certain heartfelt place so that you mirror the situation back instead of getting involved personally. You find a way to get through, or around, it without getting the bird-doo on you. Then you proceed on, you do not perpetuate the problems. You take the opportunity to make a big step personally.

So in this way, our enemies (our challenges) are our friends, because they afford us the best opportunities for personal growth.

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