Hide and Seek

John: So, in my dream there’s something pursuing my sister, but not me. We have both escaped from whatever it is that had us bound up and now they’re trying to recapture us.

This thing is going after my sister and she’s doing a very good job of eluding it. She’s only one step ahead, but she’s being very crafty. Nevertheless, it’s obvious to me that she can’t keep it up for long. At some point she’ll slip and be caught again.

When she goes zipping by me I think, “Oh my goodness, it’s a good thing this is after her instead of me because I’m right out in the open.” I realize I have to hide because eventually she’s going to get caught and then the intention would be to come after me.

I’m in an open area. Where is there to hide? There are no trees or anything. I’m considering the horses that cross this particular trail, and that the trail itself is made of straw.

I guess it’s easier for the horses to walk on this trail of straw. I decide that there’s no place for me to hide, but I might be able to lie flat underneath the straw. However, that puts me right under the trail that the horses follow.

The person that will be coming after me will be on a horse and what if the horse steps on me? A horse has the sense to know that something isn’t quite right and could step around me, but the rider doesn’t have that sense. The rider’s senses focus in a way that doesn’t take into account this type of instinct and perception.

So, can I trust that the horse will sense me and not step on me? Basically, I have no choice. I have to trust that the horse will naturally sense me and will step around me on the trail.

I’m sitting there thinking, “Can I withstand a horse stepping on me simply because I’ve got the layer of straw?” It doesn’t make sense, but I’m trying to rationalize that I can handle that. It seems better than being caught out in the open. Somehow or other I think I could take the blow and not scream and holler and call attention to myself.

I know I really can’t handle the whole weight of a horse stepping on me, and yet this is the best that I could come up with in the situation. I can’t get far away, so I’ve hidden in plain sight, close to where everything is going on.

Then the dream shifts. I see myself having to adjust my position as the hooves come down so that they miss me. Then I realize that I can’t do that because it’s more apt to be noticeable to the rider, my pursuer, and I would be discovered.

So I have to hold onto a type of trust in the sensitivity of the horse (it’s an inner knowingness that I have to trust in). In your dream (see Dragonwyck) you had the visible dragon energy that you could connect to, but here I don’t have anything tangible to put my trust in.

Part of me knows that I could be okay, but another part of me looks at the situation rationally, in terms of the outer consequences, and can’t believe I could get away with this scenario.

Yet for it to work I need to be focused and trust enough that I will be okay. I need to trust in the natural sensitivity of the horse. In I can let go in that way it’s like I am projecting my hiddenness. If I don’t trust the situation, if I’m nervous, I’ll create an energy or movement that will give my position away.

On Monday we’ll continue the analysis and consider the significance that our inner trust (or lack thereof) has in the unfolding of our lives.

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