Forward Movement

John: Right behind that dream, or right with it (see Don’t Agitate Them), I remember I have been talking with a young girl, a teenager, and I’m making allowances for how she is acting, because she’s the type that you might see on American Idol – they have a certain way of perceiving themselves that is totally unrealistic.

You’ve seen them on the show – whatever Simon Cowell says, they dismiss it. They don’t want to take it to heart because they have a very different view of themselves. While Simon Cowell is judging their musical ability from the standpoint of a professional, he’s willing to slap them down if they act too precocious or conceited. It usually comes across in the way their voices get too pitchy or they pick inappropriate songs.

So, you know, I’m probably not as harsh as Simon Cowell, I’m a little more accommodating in how she is just trying to be recognized or appreciated. Of course that doesn’t help a person grow. They just end up using it as a means to rationalize how they are. I come to see that when I have to leave.

So I’m probably never coming back to this place, and I’m sitting on a bench. This girl is sitting on my left and there’s some boy on my right. I’m talking to the boy and ignoring her, because I’m resisting her psychological demands of wanting to be seen and recognized and get all the attention. I feel that I don’t have time for that.

I’m about to leave, so I’m talking to the boy, and I can sense that she feels slighted. It’s like she’s not getting her rightful goodbye. I don’t see how my paying her attention would serve any useful purpose. It’s not going to make everything okay, and I’m basically never going to see her again.

I feel those types of insincere actions are flat and meaningless, and won’t do either of us any good.

Can’t she see that, and accept that, given the nature of the circumstances? You know, we’re not in a scenario where that can go anywhere.

So, this dream is similar to what we discussed yesterday. The boy and the girl are merely different aspects of me. So again we find that I am in a situation where I am ready to move on – I’m about to leave. But I’m not quite able to make a clean break of it.

Like the hornet’s that followed me in yesterday’s dream, I’m again not completely available for what’s next, because before I leave I’m stirring up some old agitations or mannerisms that I carry within me.

So even though the dream seems influenced by the American Idol show, it has really only taken that experience and used those images to tell me a very different story – a story that’s an insight into my inner workings. It would be easy to see the dream as the story of an older and wiser man snubbing a young girl for whatever silly reasons, but that’s just a surface scenario.

When we move on in life, it usually is a sign that we are letting aspects of the past fade away, and that we are ready for new experiences. But we know from real experience that we always bring our inner workings with us, wherever we go. They’re not so easy to leave behind. So that’s what I see these dreams as showing me. That even though I have done the work, I’ve made progress – in both cases I’m leaving to somewhere else – yet I’m still capable of letting old agitations rise up again inside me.

The hornets could represent a certain type of inner agitation, and in this dream the young girl shows a certain preening nature that could be associated with the feminine aspects. This speaks about outward appearances seeming more important than they really are. We may never be able to completely let these inner workings go, but it’s important to be aware of them. Especially because to be truly conscious means that we need to rise above those ego-based notions in life.

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