John: And so, as we discussed yesterday, you are trying to break through this amnesia state because you know that this is what makes everything come alive again. So you see yourself as this model, or this particular type, and you have to take it to the next step wherein everything that you flow into, and everything that you touch in life, is all part of you being a model – this quality is recognized energetically, rather than outwardly. In other words, you relate to the realms within you no matter what banality is occurring in the outer.
Now, for some peculiar reason there is a bit of an embarrassment in you about this (you don’t want to be recognized). This sense of embarrassment has to do with a leftover understanding of what the environment you are in (the parlor full of ladies) is looking for. In other words, that collective consciousness carries a projected world-view. So you, in being the model, feel that you have to accommodate that since that is what is expected of you.
The question then becomes, what if you actually saw everything happening around you as an aspect of the vibration that you are carrying inside, and that there really isn’t any difference? There is only difference when you buy into what someone, or something, else is trying to say or to project.
Do you quibble with that? No. The group is putting something out there as a new linkage, as part of the vibration you have inside. And, can you pull that out and experience that for yourself?
This scenario doesn’t mean to show that you can necessarily do that for them. It would be nice if you could, but this isn’t an us-or-them situation. It’s an image where everything that is taking place is describing a back-and-forth (inner and outer) of the heartfullness you are feeling. It is this heartfullness that elevates you from having your energy slowly drained away from you by the day-to-day events that just accumulate and come at you from every direction.
When you can actually turn your attention and see yourself as being the model in everything that happens, and no longer have to accommodate and orchestrate your life to keep with the thought patterns and cultural mannerisms that are projected, that’s when you are able to maintain your energy and not be drained by the world around you.
In other words, now your experience has a one-to-one correspondence with things that are happening around you; without that correspondence, you cannot go through. This inner change is what shifts you through the “middle” area that absorbs the light. And so you are being shown in your dream how hard it is to be the model. In other words, you have to be able to be the model in spite of how others see you, and how that causes you to see yourself.
And, of course, the way you (personally) are inclined to see yourself means you have to go into a kind of hiddeness. Now if you are able to hold the inner note of the model, and have such a focus that it becomes how everyone else sees you, you will have sustained it, you will have brought it through as a vibration. That is how an energetic (the light) inside of us gets effused into life; otherwise it gets dissipated, or drained away.
If, little by little, you accommodate every situation and circumstance by moving from where you are to what they are energetically projecting, your light is diminished. The others in the dream are not fully recognizing that they have to carry this vibration as a constant inside of themselves.
That is why there are these lessons. That is why, in Sufi practices, there is the zikir (the repeated prayer), because through constant repetition you become able to maintain this note in you. The goal is to hold the note in you while you are in life and relating to everything else. When it embeds itself in you, everything you do in life is touched by it.
The lesson behind this is how you lift yourself from the dark hole and into the fifth level of the heart. The dark hole feels to you as a sadness that you carry. Where does this sadness come from? It is coming from the dark hole of disconnection. So what you dreamt was almost a relief from that, showing you, and asking you, “Can you be the model? Can you hold the note that is the model?”
As an example, if you imagine that your balance comes from things (people) outside yourself, doing this or saying that, you will never find a balanced point (note). You will find yourself instead getting dryer and dryer, duller and duller, more and more frustrated, emptier and emptier, and even crackable (fragile) as a consequence. You will be drained by the bit that is always missing, as opposed to you sustaining that bit yourself.
This is said to be an easier part of the process for the feminine to actually get because the feminine has this way of knowing that its ticket is to love everything in spite of the way it is. This is the nature of the mother who still cannot disown her little Johnny even when he has completely messed up. The feminine knows that this is how it is to be done.