John: This is a dream that I had to catch up with in bits, as opposed to seeing it in its sequence. Fortunately, the last bit helped it all make sense.
In the dream, I am carrying a burden, which to begin with feels like a monetary burden. It feels like I am in debt and everything I am doing has to function within that limitation. I just can’t shake it. It’s probably a condition we all feel when we are constrained by some circumstance in our outer life.
But then I realized that the dream is actually about something else. From a higher perspective, it is about the heaviness – or limitations – that is associated with the outer world in general. There is a weight upon society today as a result of the economic problems in the outer. And because I am a part of the overall, I am feeling the weight of that upon me.
This feeling of weight shrinks my openness to the insight from within – just as has been occurring in your recent dreams. In other words, it’s possible to have a natural insight into situations when we can maintain ourselves at a more elevated view, or distance ourselves from it. But it can also get to a point where we become part of the situation itself, feeling the pain of something in the overall.
We all have to deal with that. What is important is, “How far astray do we go with it?” If I feel I need to respond, I carry the weight of an unresolved energetic. Typically, when we take on these external burdens, the energetic of it becomes a burden to our soul, which causes us to immediately want to do something to fix the situation – to react in some way.
When something bothers us, whether it an issue with health, or a decision that needs to be faced, the noise of our trying to sort it out can become so loud in us that we can’t hear something internally that could lighten the weight of it. To be able to hear that “something” inside – as opposed to the racket we make in our ego-mind – that is the trick.
So in the dream I seem to have two physical shells – one that feels the issue at the lower-self level and wants to “take on” the problem in a reactive way, and the other, a kind of body double, seeks to counterbalance the denseness of the outer problem with the clarity of the higher-self view.
Of course, if I take it on from my lower self, it will lead to dumbness, reactivity, and negative vibrations. The other aspect, or body double, seeks to counterbalance the density and raise it to a higher-self clarity.
The more I get caught up in the lower-self view, the further I get from my light body. So in the dream I see myself as having to let my neighbors know who I am. As an image, that is me going toward the density – I am relating to things in the outer world.
If, instead, I were to stay with my light body, my higher self, I would have pulled back and stayed more hidden. Thus the conundrum: the higher-self part of me seeks freedom and true wisdom and wants to find an inner space, and the lower-self part of me is tethered to the outer world and wants to take action in it.
So I am not able to be as fully on the healing, helping side as I would like, because when I entertain the physical burden, the human condition takes center stage. But what is most interesting is the degree to which I am able to embody both, or to be in both places, or to switch back and forth, keeping each side uncontaminated by the other.
To be able to exist, nearly swallowed up by the rootedness in the physical plane, yet somehow able to be enriched from deep within is the challenge. Too much innerness and I do not retain my ability to relate to outer life; too much outerness and I’m not able to touch creation with the awareness. A dialogue needs to exist between the two for the light embedded in matter to rise up and touch the light from above.
There is no going anywhere. We remain where we are. It’s a spiritual illusion to imagine ourselves as actually having to go somewhere. If the ego remains, we are in the outer. If the ego is tamed by a tempering from the higher self, we can be receptive to the guidance. Then the mind is still, so that there is receptivity from both sides existing as one: inner is in the outer, and the outer is attentive to the inner.