When a Door is Ajar

John: Dreams tend to be very difficult as they start, and then they set something in motion that gets jarred loose. It’s like cleaning the rust off of something. And so a dream early in the night can be a way of unclogging things.

This dream starts off with me being presented with a sequence of energetic events. In other words, it’s like everything is part of a string that has a number of components to it. If you take on any one aspect, one dot of the sequence, then you have bought into the whole string.

The problem that I have, though, is that these strings are thrown at me. I think that if I open up one of them, I’ll find myself affected by that whole sequence and energetic flow, which means that it creates a type of karma that has to reflect, or be lived out, in the outer imagery of the dream.

So I’m finding that I’ve been turning away from all these options, these strings of events. In doing so, I’m preventing something from opening up. There is one exception that I make, however, and that is a string of events connected to a glass of water that is presented to me.

It seems innocuous enough. My initial feeling is that because the glass of water has been sitting around, it has to be stale. But the person who is trying to present it to me assures me it is not.

I take a drink and am surprised that the water is cool and refreshing. I realize that my reluctance to accept any of these strings of events has become a form of withdrawal. So now the image shifts into a portrayal of this withdrawal and I find myself sitting in a room in a tenement house.

The room I’m in is not much. The door is cracked open slightly and I can hear a lot of activity and noise from the hallway and other rooms. Everything seems to be going haywire around me, so I have blocked myself off from it.

Even though the door is open, I have created a barrier so that others know they shouldn’t come in. I have no intention of going out. My sense is that what is around me is kind of poisonous or harmful to my nature, or just something I need to stay away from.

I feel groggy, as if I am in some sort of stupor. I’m waking up late. Everything outside the room is in commotion. And in the toe of my shoe, crammed in there at the very tip, is something I’m refusing to look at. I’m convinced it’s poisonous.

I’m also convinced that it has something to do with the people who live in this building. I don’t want them to have any effect on me whatsoever. All this struggling is contributing to my being unable to come out of my trance. I’m groggy, tired, withdrawn, and out of touch with the rest of the place around me – it irritates me.

But something comes over me at some point and I reach in and take out this compressed object that is in the tip of my shoe. It looks lifeless, black, and dead. I stare at it and imagine that it resembles a decomposed mouse (that’s my active imagination). It’s looks more like a balled up piece of rag.

Just the thought of it makes me cringe a bit and I consider it kind of poisonous. I do not want to smell it; it could kill me or just be really unhealthy. So I flush this smelly and poisonous thing down the toilet.

So what is this dream showing me? Tomorrow we will open up its deeper meaning and follow the trace of subsequent dream images later in the night. In this way we can get a better sense of how our dreams prod us, nudge us, to come to a recognition about aspects of ourselves that we may not normally acknowledge in our waking life. In this way, dreams offer us the possibility of helping us evolve personally, saving us from having to learn things the hard way, i.e., in our waking lives.

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