Inner Decisions

Jeane: My earliest dream had to do with choosing a house. I’m moving and I’m considering two houses on a mountainside that overlooks a lake. It’s not a big mountainside – it’s more like a hill. My parents will either be visiting a lot, or living with me there, so I have more resources to put toward the house.

Initially, I had chosen a smaller house, but now that more resources are available I’m reconsidering. There is a house that I have looked at before that is much bigger. I’d rejected the house before because the upper floors had been broken into rental units; they’re really interesting, but it’s as though they’ve been separated from each other.

So, I’m contemplating. I’m even discussing with a friend all the decisions that would need to be made because it’s tempting to want the bigger house. However, I don’t feel like I should choose the bigger house just because I can. That doesn’t quite feel right.

On the other hand, even as people are trying to talk me out of the bigger house, I realize that the reason I’d objected to the bigger house originally was because the upstairs was divided up. Now I want to go look at it again from the perspective of how I might decorate it if it were all one house again.

I’m not sure anymore which house to get.

John: This dream poses an interesting dilemma. It’s like an inflection point. You have the option of choosing the smaller house that you were happy with, yet now that you know your parents will be spending time, and they’re contributing to the finances, a much larger house becomes a possibility.

Both houses have a view of the lake, so that’s not the issue. One is larger, and requires more work to renovate. The smaller one then is a more manageable option. There will be less complexity or pressure involved.

The sense of the dream that I have is that your relationship to the little house is more centered and balanced. That choice won’t complicate or mess up your life. There’s a kind of quaintness and quietness about that.

If you then take on the bigger house, you may have more options, but they come at the expense of a lot of work. And, are you up for that work?

So, you have to have a reason to want to take on the larger house. Do the increased options allow you to participate more fully in something? Is that the reason why?

Jeane: I don’t know whether I’m doing it for the right reasons, or not. The dream is looking at all of that.

John: Yes, you can feel the easy energy of the smaller house and have to evaluate whether the bigger house is worth the effort. The smaller house is where you need to stay if that’s what it takes for you to stay simple.

If getting the bigger house increases the capacity of things but at the same time makes it harder for you to be true to yourself, that’s a negative consequence.

Now, the positive aspect of the larger space is if your choice is not based on personal gain, or the sense that “more is better,” but because you are ready to take on more. If it is about being able to open up, to expand into new space, i.e., renovating the upper rooms, then the change can be about something more.

Then it’s not about your personal benefit, it’s a benefit in terms of your higher self, or a bigger picture, or a deeper equation in life. And it’s not even your business to put your finger on what that is, it’s just your business to make sure that you’re coming from the right place in yourself when you make your decision.

Emanating Change

John: In my dream, I saw a person take a forklift, as an expression of love, and pick up refuse on a pathway. The person was completely genuine in their expression. So guess what: the story is written up in the media. It catches everyone’s attention because what he was doing was so uncharacteristic in these times.

So, I realize through this imagery that there is a hunger in people to know what is going on, but this hunger can blind us to the perils that exist. This hunger is like a first love – there is an allure and a closeness that’s intriguing. But when such a feeling exists, the difficulties of a given situation are often ignored.

It’s hard to be alone with this hunger, this kind of longing, yet at the same time there is nowhere to go with it. There is always some limitation that puts itself in the way.

The point is this: the whole world quests to know what’s going on, but doesn’t know how to recognize what’s real, so it’s drawn to reporting any kind of action. People may have an interest in the true mysteries of life, but the culture feeds on the dramatic. It’s like hunger in that we are always seeking a sugar rush to satisfy our cravings, rather than the sustenance of a healthy meal.

So it’s easy to get sucked in by the feeding frenzy of the media. It’s really a reflection that our lives are based in our ego. Everyone thinks the best way to stay out of trouble – to stay out of the tabloid glare of the world – is to keep a low profile. But, of course, keeping a low profile creates its own problems.

What is necessary is to hold onto what is real, inside, in a quiet way. High profile actions are newsworthy, and there are reasons for that. It’s usually when a person is still searching, or is in need of approval, or at least the appearance of approval. That results in personal identification, and identifying with something personally always sways what is real. It pulls one further away from that inner state that wants nothing.

My particular view is that I think it’s important to awaken to situations that are fresh and open. It’s important to penetrate barriers and free what is pent up inside. That’s a delicate situation.

For one thing, most people can’t deal with what there is to see and handle. Secondly, if one isn’t totally removed from the effect, i.e., in a place of inner peace, then a responsibility can be set forth in the outer world – that creates a karma. Third, whenever the Kundalini energy opens up prematurely, it’s unbearable to the recipient and can lead to bizarre reactions.

Hopefully a person has a defense mechanism in their nature to veil this effect. Ultimately, all this creates a conundrum, because that which one experiences on an inner level, cannot become known to the recipient if it’s not put into life.

So it has to be lived, but lived in a way that doesn’t run around trying to make something happen. What needs to happen is designed from within, in a subtle, quiet space. The intended effect shouldn’t leave traces (meaning big actions that create newsworthy stories), it should just be emanated from within, invisibly into the world. It’s effect will be unseen, but no less real.



A Shadow of Ourselves

John: So, in the dreams yesterday we were discussing the idea that we come into this life unconscious, and as we grow, learn, and evolve we become more conscious. This is the natural process. But we are also, as a species, meant to continue to awaken our consciousness.

That awakening is what reconnects us with our inner self, or to the god within. Humans, for the most part, have stopped listening to the signals and messages that try to awaken us – whether through our dreams or through events in our outer life.

So the image of the haunted house, or of the apparition that seems to warn me away, sets up this internal trigger as an opposing force. My instinct in the dream is not to be afraid and walk away, but to try to make peace with the forces. The house, representing my inner life, shouldn’t have places I’m afraid to go.

And the reason these forces have turned up as ghosts is because I have left them out, unacknowledged and disconnected from my life. If I enter the house and allow these energies into my life, then they will lose their ghostly quality.

I have heard the teacher say that so many people walk around like “gravestones talking on their cellular phones.” What he means by that is they have no connection to their inner (higher) selves – in fact, they seldom acknowledge that those levels exist in them. That separation from the wholeness of the universe makes us all seem like ghosts of our own possibility.

Our unconscious knows we are separated from ourselves and often our dreams hint at or nudge us toward reconnection. They can’t always solve everything in one night, so the imagery changes, a new approach angle is tried, and each time our systems try to bring us closer and closer to our own truth. It tries to close this gap that we feel as separation between ourselves and everything else that exists.

In this process of opening up and awakening, we realize that everything is alive and that everything has spirit energy. In order to touch that aliveness, we have to let go of the ego-based view of ourselves. Then we’ll find out that we are every particle, and part of everything in life.

Human beings are created with this deeper understanding sitting latent inside them. You could say that not all the faculties and processes are turned on, or activated. It is meant to be part of our journey to activate this aspect of ourselves, to become realized.

But true realization implies not just awakening within oneself, but becoming reciprocal to what is occurring in the environment around us. That’s the only way to form a relationship that includes the whole, or connects with the Oneness.

Otherwise, you end up with gaps, and within those gaps are the essences of part of creation that remain unacknowledged – that remain in the dark. But in that darkness it can be imagined that they are continually absorbing light.

It’s like a microcosm of the spirit energy in a star. The star itself is flowing and spinning in space. The greatest evolution a star can make, which is a schematic of evolution, is that it can explode. When it explodes it emits something that goes into the wholeness of everything in light.

So what is the light, then, of a star that is exploding? In that explosion it seems to feed everything on a greater consciousness level.

It seems like a human being – who is made of star material, perhaps a part of something that has already exploded – has all of the qualities of a star in their beingness but it is exploded, and must be pulled back together in the process of life.

As it becomes pulled back together, or awakened, there is an awareness and relationship with everything. No longer are all the pieces scrambling around separately.

This actually brings the inner into the outer. It creates an ongoing process that facilitates advancement on all kinds of levels. This is a huge thing. As the human being changes and brings inner into outer, it causes communication to open up between everything that exists.

In life, so many things are considered off limits and are purposely blocked out, not unlike people block off the recognition that can be found through dreams. Well, we can also block off the recognition that there are other forces that can appear like apparitions.

If we block those vibrations off as an aliveness, they still exist and are a part of us, but just unnoticed. We have to be able to hold our place inside, in which there are many features that are really subtle and that, if activated, can communicate through us.

Of course for a human being to catch up with this, to recognize the need for this to happen, well, sometimes even the stars will explode if necessary. It seems peculiar when we realize that this aspect in us affects the cosmos, too. A human being, in its separation, can stop the natural processes of the universe.