Here we offer the analysis to the dream The Envelopes, Please.
John: The first thing I noticed when I woke up was my physical feeling – it felt like I had been punched in the nose, to the point where it seemed I could taste blood. This was a weird sensation that I’ve never had before.
I also had the sense that in the dream, when I was opening the envelopes, I was at a deep, deep level inside. I felt okay in what I was doing at that point because I had a sense of knowing what was required. I mean, I was playing around with gauging the sizes of these envelopes, and filling in the confirmations, but it wasn’t until I started lowering the vibration – basically into the physical level – that I began to feel guilt about what I doing.
Then I began to imagine other people witnessing what I was doing and I felt even worse. At that point I had the feeling that I was cowering, because, obviously, what gives me the right to properly take into account everything in terms of the envelopes and the required confirmations – for other people?
So how can I explain that sense of knowing, of wholeness, that I had in the beginning, to those living in a world of separation, i.e., the other workers and the people at the library? I mean, as I woke up I had no idea what I was going to say to the people who stopped me. I had given the contents of these envelopes, with all different names on them, at the entrance to a place where you can only bring in what belongs to you.
So, this dream has a very interesting meaning to it, in that it shows that I need to be absolutely sure that everything I do has no presumption to it in any way. In other words, for me to not be presumptuous means that however I perceive something at a deep inner level, it must be carried all the way through – to the outer, physical world – intact.
I can’t allow the spirit energy to come down and be confused by me when it hits. If I have a knowing at this deep, inner level, where I can somehow have a sense of what other things require, it also means that I’m out in the open because in that space everything is known. It’s just like being an integrated part of the whole. But if I don’t catch up to the whole of it, then my shortfall is seen as deviation. The key is to get so that I’m no longer causing the deviation.
Everything flows from the top down, or from the inner to the outer, and needs to be opened up in a particular way, for a particular reason. The more we are able to open it up without deviation, the less disoriented and separated things will be.
On a microcosmic level, I’m still seeing myself as individual. To get beyond that, I have to go inside myself and open up these other levels; otherwise I’m always acting in an individual way. The view of separateness is an illusion.
I have to go inside to see the bigger picture, and then bring that all the way through to the outer. It’s like in your dream (see A Quality of Consciousness), you wanted the light switches to change the lights the whole way through, not just track something.
I’m just catching up with how, and who, and what I’m meant to do to be free of any presumption. I can’t do that unless I catch up with the higher self and bring it all the way through – I have to live it.
The dream is saying I haven’t done that yet. I’m not surrendering everything I am. It shows something in my nature is still interceding in some unconscious way. Only when I have totally let go will I have the right to look into the mirror of that which is intended (the higher self). Only when I quit identifying with the lower self completely will I get aligned.
Until then, I’m being presumptuous to think that I have any right at all, except to open my mail and my mail only (because on a larger level, it’s all my mail). I must not pay attention to anyone else’s path (mail).
If you start paying attention to anyone else’s path, how are you going to see what’s going on inside yourself? So, if I do pay attention, I’m setting myself up for consequences, and I’m not prepared yet to face those consequences.
So I had to open my eyes. It is truly that I am as a thought of God – that is how I’m to find myself. I haven’t done that yet. I will be shown from within all there is that I am to know and do. I must never forget that. Whatever it is that I see or think about is contaminating to that; it’s an outer view.
So, this dream is saying that I’m being irresponsible. I haven’t caught up with the bigger picture yet, so everything I’m doing now is only an echo of what can be brought through. I’m not fully taking into account the bigger picture and I’m not taking full responsibility. My actions (with the mail) are still affecting others, because I don’t know who “others” are yet.
I don’t see “others” as completely myself and, because I don’t, I have no right to step into their shoes. What the dream is saying is that I’ve stepped into their shoes, and I’m not flowing properly, so I will be held accountable and have to pay the price if, in my undertaking, I’m unable to take everything into account.