Becoming More

John: In a dream, a car is a good representation for describing one’s current condition – their sense of self (see Kiss, Chase, Earthquake). I had one in my dream, too.

In the imagery, a person who understands my vehicle, and its performance specifications, is telling me that I’ve been driving it like a turtle. In other words, I’m not using it according to its design and capability. The car I have (me) is meant to be pushed to its limits of performance, because that’s what it has been designed to do.

This person has an overall perspective (of the inner capabilities) and he has shared them with me. I’m not sure what to make of this information, so I’ve taken the car in for service. The mechanic only looks at the oil, and sees that it needs changing. So his perspective is entirely different.

The mechanic has noticed that I drove a lot of miles in a very short period of time. Because he’s a technician, he only looks at the current (surface) picture, not the overall picture. In his opinion, something needs correcting.

When I hear this I swallow, because I know all the miles I’ve put on the car. This information should be offset by the performance capabilities of the design, however.

So what this dream is showing is that I have two contrasting images I carry of myself: There is an image of the inner self that knows the design capabilities and says that what I am can do so much more. And there’s the image of the outer self that says there are quite a few miles on the car and it needs some tuning up.

So there’s a greater aspect to me that I’m not fully accessing. In fact, that which is even greater on the inside tends to create a level of chaos on the outside.

So, what’s the meaning of this? One of the things it’s saying is that I need to take more time with myself in a meditative way. In a sense, the way I’ve been going on has caused me to lose ground in terms of understanding the overall, greater aspects of life. I’m losing my ability to unfold the knowings of the overall into my life.

But it shows that something is also waking up to this fact. It’s telling me I need to pause, because otherwise I could burn out (I need an oil change). It’s telling me that I can’t go from one extreme to another – mired in the everyday world and then switching to a more meditative and spiritual approach – and make that process work.

When I do that, neither aspect is functioning to its capability. What I need to do is to find the cadence in which I can accommodate life from the aspect of the overall – it’s a different pace. I have a tendency to forget how to stay steady and consistent; I need to recognize that rhythm and sustain it – not too fast, and not too slow.

Even though this is something I’m able to comprehend intellectually, or to describe in detail, I’m not living up to how I’m meant to be in the big picture of life. There’s not much you can do about it other than to recognize that aspect inside yourself. If you don’t see it or you don’t start taking it inside yourself, in this “otherness” way, and you only have a conceptualization of it, then you’re going to bounce all over the place.

However, if you see it inside yourself in some deeper way, then you’re starting to pull that whole other aspect of yourself out. Ordinarily, if you’re not aware of this higher-self dimension, you just work with the elements of earth, fire, water, and air, and the will of all of that, in the outer waking life.

It means you’re not catching up with the intricacies of the heart, nor do you have any sense of the soul, which involves the breath. Nor do you awaken to something that quickens, behind all of that, which is like a secret substance wherein the heart needs to feel in a particular inner way that’s unique, that’s something that the ordinary person doesn’t look at.

As a consequence, that which is hidden stays hidden, and then there’s no way you can catch up with the even greater hiddenness of things. You have to catch up with that just as a beginning to the journey back to yourself, as a way to try to wake up.

What I’m describing isn’t actually going anywhere, yet, it’s just a beginning step. A lot of time is spent in just understanding the forces of one’s nature – the interactions that go back and forth with the earth energy, the water energy, the fire energy, and the air energy – the four energies plus the will. You could spend a lifetime just there.

But when this other aspect begins to awaken, you can go through a state where you lose your sense of self and, because you’re turning and your momentum is different, you start to have something new and different to look at and evaluate.

However, that new knowledge only enables you to begin to travel towards something. You’re still dealing with the duality of life – good/bad, yes/no, me/them. It’s like meditation. What you’re doing, it’s said, is that the meditation opens up those other levels. It opens up this whole huge, inner world.

That world is a higher octave from the ego-based, dualistic view of life. But it does take a little while for adjustments to be made in terms of handling this new state. That new balance is found by yo-yo-ing a bit – by trial and error, by getting the feel for it.

Usually, you only see one side of things – the lower aspects of outer, waking life. But when you start to unlock the greater inner worlds, it begins to work as an alchemical process that causes deeper changes. That’s when you begin the quest to become more, in terms of who you are, simply because this otherness creates the suggestion that there is so much more.

These different levels operate at different speeds energetically. You will experience the pace differently inside. You have to annihilate, or surrender aspects of your self, that you used to hold onto, which are all part of the lower, ego-based life.

Your condition at this point is still one of grasping and grappling. You are jarred by the knowledge of Divine Command, but you haven’t gotten anywhere. You’re just jarred by it. You have to address that and pull that together in order to get to a point where you can reach for or travel with god, as opposed to toward god.

So this dream is a representation of those two perspectives. As humans we have such a fantastic capability and potential, but the way we live doesn’t make good use of it. And it’s not just a matter of, okay, we will in the future, but a matter of remembering what humans knew in the past and bringing it alive in us again.

Leave a Reply