The Paper Chase

John: So, I had a dream where I felt like I was operating on two different levels. I’ll describe the dream imagery first, and then next time I’ll describe what was unfolding at a different level of consciousness.

In the dream I’m in a car with a woman, traveling a great distance. The woman wants to pull off the highway into a rest area. I’m reluctant to stop because I’m in the midst of trying to capture this other level of the dream; I’m afraid I’ll lose it.

Ultimately, I’m convinced that a break is a good idea, so we stop. From where we park, I can see that there’s a walking trail that leads deeper into the woods. There are no houses or anything around, so it feels like we’re in the middle of nowhere.

As I begin to walk along the trail, in the middle of what I thought was scenic woodland, I suddenly come across an array of Porta-Potty latrines. At first I just see a few of them, but as I approach I realize that there are rows upon rows of them.

I select a latrine and go inside. Then I realize that this latrine has no toilet paper. Well, because I’ve kind of claimed this latrine that I selected (in other words, this is a joke on how you can get attached to the most absurd things), I keep an eye on it as I look around for toilet paper.

I peek in the other latrines and no luck – there’s no toilet paper to be found. Then I notice a utility shed not too far away, so I leave the door of the latrine open as a signal that I’ll be back – and that the latrine has been claimed by me.

I go over to the utility shed. Sure enough, there’s a roll of toilet paper I can take, but, as I turn around to go back, I see a person about to go into my latrine. I race over to prevent him from closing the door.

To my surprise, here in the middle of nowhere, I have run into a good friend of mine. I’m shocked. Instead of claiming the latrine, I do a double take; I also notice at that very moment that inside the latrine is a roll of toilet paper. How did that get there?

I’m so excited to see my friend that I forget about this whole bathroom thing, and I walk off with him, still pondering the odds of such a meeting hundreds of miles from home.

Still, at some point I have to leave my friend and go back to the toilet. I’m a little intoxicated from having run into someone that caused my attention to shift like that, so I get directions from him and he indicates that my toilet is in the first row.

As I go off, I suddenly find myself very confused: I need to go find my original latrine because I left something inside. But I am confronted with so many rows of latrines that finding mine seems unlikely.

I wake up because it’s so frustrating to not know where it is.

It may be surprising to say about a dream that is obsessed with portable toilets, but the meaning of this dream is that I am coming closer and closer to a greater awareness of it all.

The dream begins with me driving a great distance. The car represents me, and I’m traveling with both the masculine and feminine aspects. I still take a reprieve (rest stop) however, to look around in creation.

The Porta-Potty is a strange image to latch onto. It arises because I’d gotten into a big production in my life recently about my lower-self needs. So here I am bombarded with images of latrines that, in effect, make a joke out of my preoccupation with such mundane matters.

Then when I have a brief moment of awakening, I run into my friend who is an advanced student moving through life. The connection I have with him sends me into an energetic tailspin that allows me to let go of my physical preoccupations.

Then, try as I might, I can’t quite find my way back to where I’ve been. I’ve gone too far and changed too much. I’ve become lost in an essence in which physical identifications are harder to reclaim.

The dream is showing how difficult it is to go back to a state of lower vibrations once you experience the higher vibrations. At some point, it gets to where going back is just too painful. That lower vibration – it’s like crashing from too much sugar. You feel the drop and that change becomes something you just can’t accept anymore.

The attraction of an ego-based, me-first, physically focused (eat, drink, sex, work) life can’t be let go of like you are making a New Year’s resolution. You let go because you reach a point where not letting go becomes too hard on you. It becomes almost unbearable to try to go back and dumb down again.

So in this dream I see that I am starting to relate more to the aliveness on the other side. The way things work on the inner, or higher levels, are manifesting themselves in me little by little.

In the next installment I’ll describe further these two levels, or two vibrations, that we all exist in simultaneously.

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