It’s Not Personal

Jeane: In this dream, I have thrown my back out and I’ve gone to a spa to see if someone can help me. I meet with a man who does treatments, but feel that whatever he does initially is very cursory and does not fix my back.

I walk away, get a sense of what has been done, and then I come back. I’m standing in front of a bulletin board, half dressed.

The same man comes over and I put my arms across my chest to cover myself. He shows me a small card indicating that I have signed up for two sessions a month for six months, and that’s going to fix my back.

I’m looking at it, but I do not want it to take six months or a year to fix my back; I want it done sooner. Yet, I do take the card. This is the way I’ll do it and it does give me 12 sessions. I can do them in less than six months if I want.

I leave the spa and I walk through a store and hear a woman say to someone else, “You don’t have to train me on such and such anymore.” I realize I’m not sure if that means she has learned it, or if another person will show her from now on. I don’t know how to interpret the remark.

I glance over and recognize the door to another store (one I have dreamed about over the years). I like this store; I don’t always buy something, but I like to look as it always has clothing that can fit me for any occasion.

I walk towards the door of this store, which means I have to walk through another little store, and my attention is drawn to my left. There are some clothes there that I have to go over and examine; they are either shawls or skirts in unusual plaids – not something I think I would wear or buy, but I want to look at them.

Next, as I go into the store I like, I sense that at most I would only buy one outfit, if I need it. Meanwhile I am drawn to the designs and colors of these garments I see to my left. I wake up.

John: In a roundabout way, I should apologize because there is usually a certain energetic quality that we carry together, and it was not there last night. And I noticed immediately that you are portrayed as being on your own in this dream.

So in a sense, a linkage was not there between us, and that hurt, which caused a dream in which you are trying to self heal. It’s the nature of the feminine to try to fix things – to makes things all right.

Your dream has you trying to work with something that is out of joint. You are trying to deal with your back pain – on your own – and you schedule certain prescribed sessions meant to help adjust it. Ordinarily you wouldn’t need that – you would just be in an inner place that carried all that was needed for something to be whole.

That aspect is hinted at in the second part of the dream where you are told that you don’t need a certain kind of training any more. That’s a hint that you have access within to something that will handle everything.

But you were not connected to the energetic, nor were you feeling strong enough on your own, so you searched outwardly for ways to heal (spa, shopping). That tends to accentuate a wound. That tends to allow old patterns to dictate.

It’s like the idea of going shopping as a way to relieve stress and pressure. What’s really being addressed here is that a union, a connection, is broken or is not there. Ordinarily you do have the strength; you could have overcome this straightaway.

However, when you went to bed, part of you was angry and you indulged it. That undermined your inner grace, which could have, through an acceptance, enabled you to be free. But you were not able to be gracious and accepting and your complex caused you to buy into my mood and distance when you did not need to.

What occurred last night left us having to see what spiritual muscle we had to stretch. Instead of relying on a certain cushion that is usually present, you had to fall back onto your own inner momentum. You obliterated that subtle zone by your reaction.

When things like that happen I suppose there is a good aspect to them because what is revealed by our mistakes is more powerful than what we learn when everything just flows together.

After a while, it’s good to be reminded how insight and opportunity can be given to us in these incredible ways – but it’s not to be taken for granted. It has to do with not personalizing what is occurring. That creates a denseness in us that snuffs out the subtle, and replaces the real with our own notions of things.

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