From the Inside Out

John: This dream starts off with me seated at a table, casually working on something. Someone comes up and questions what I’m doing. Their questioning attitude trips a vibration in which I suddenly realize that it’s five after eight in the morning and I’ve agreed to meet a woman (someone I know in real life) at a restaurant at 8:05am.

I think to cancel because it was her idea to get together, and I can feel the heaviness of how the meeting will be. But out of respect for her I agreed to do it.

So I race over and get to the restaurant and get there at about 8:15. I’m in line, thinking she’s inside the restaurant somewhere, but all of a sudden I hear her voice speaking into a phone somewhere behind me.

She’s being loud and disruptive, and I can hear that she’s putting the blame for something on someone else. It sounded like she was trying to find out where I was, or at least that’s how I took it vibrationally. My sense is that she thinks I had set her up and then was not going to show.

So I go into the foyer where I hear her voice, and say to her, “Come on, we’re going to lose our place in line.” I can tell that she’s relieved that I’m there. She seems to have been all pent up expecting the worst.

To my surprise, she has a small boy and girl with her. Apparently she’s in a new relationship and these two kids are part of that. I sense that it’s important, in terms of how she feels about herself, for me to see her with these kids. It relieves some guilt and frees her up.

I’m surprised because I know that the responsibility of two kids will require her to place her attention in a softer way, in order to be there for them.

So this dream is showing me the effects of repressed energy and how it creates a distraction in one’s life. It’s interesting because I wasn’t really looking at this issue, in myself, any longer – I felt I had moved on. So this imagery shows that there are still issues that remain.

The question is: Did I actually move on, or did I just make a switch to relieve myself of physical anguish? Perhaps I’m still holding onto some underlying psychology that, under the right conditions, still manifests itself?

So, in the dream, this woman represents an aspect of my inner feminine that is feeling wounded from some guilt, and she can’t help herself from projecting it outwardly. It’s like a father complex: deep down this feminine aspect feels that it doesn’t have my approval about how she is, and so she can’t keep herself, or help herself, from dwelling upon it as a rejection.

Consequently, this feminine quality is creating confusion in my environment. It’s unable to keep from projecting a sense of anguish, or a self-image problem, wherever she goes. So in the imagery the woman is too loud and out of balance; she’s making a scene. She’s not facing herself.

This aspect is acting as if something in the past has left her stranded and rejected, and she can’t shake that feeling. The vibration is grief stricken; like a person who can’t keep it together. As a result, this inner feminine aspect is creating havoc – her inner essence is not at peace.

The lesson to be taken from this dream is that I’m having too great an impact on people around me. In doing so, I’m smothering their souls. I need to let people be how they are. They have to find themselves within the nature of Oneness. People need to have a freedom of choice in order to naturally mature. If something in me resonates in them as a negative reflection, there’s a risk that they can lose themselves.

Of course, this phenomenon works both ways. The solution isn’t to try to change anything per se, but to acknowledge and recognize the Divine. Ultimately, when two people interact, that is what they experience.

Everything always works from the inner into the outer. If it’s in me, it radiates to those around me. It can be positive or negative, but when it’s negative, it gets picked up on and played out as a distortion. And that distortion is what ends up in the world.

So, as with yesterday’s dream, the theme here is about contamination. Whether I’m contaminating others through what is in me, or whether others are contaminating me by what is in them. The problem is, we always interpret our issues as coming from outside of ourselves, so we put our attention outside of ourselves, and that’s what ends up creating all the problems.

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