John: So, in this dream I go to a place where I’m to pay my debt. In the short-term it’s a lower number than I expected. Long-term it’s a larger number. (So, already we see that the dream has incorporated both the expansive and contractive elements from the previous two dreams; see Nearing the Top and Rough Flight.)
As I enter this office building I run into a certain friend. While I’m in the office, I’m very focused on settling this debt – I don’t want to carry this burden. But I also can’t ignore the fact that my friend is there as well.
I’m in such a hurry that I’m holding my car keys in my right hand. I want to get in and get out. My friend is excited to see me and he comes up to say “Hello.” He sticks his hand out to shake, and it catches me by surprise. I realize that as I’m shaking his hand, I’m still holding the car keys in my right hand without thinking.
As this is happening, I thinking, “Oh wait, I need those keys back!” Then I wake up.
Isn’t that interesting? So, what this dream imagery is showing me is that the only way out of the dilemma I have faced in the last two dreams is to let go of my means of transportation, or at least what I perceive to be a necessary vehicle for me to get where I want to go.
In the first dream I had a tank-like truck that couldn’t get me up the hill. It was a burden that was slowing me down. In the second dream, I’m off the ground, in a helicopter, but the ride is frightening, and I have no appreciation for it, because it’s so out of control.
For me to truly reach my destination, I have to let go of my old ways, aspects in me that prevent me from progressing onward. I have been shown the two extremes of my nature: the contractive feminine aspect (the heavy truck), and the expansive, masculine nature (the out-of-control helicopter).
Now I see that to pay my “debt,” to rid myself of what is holding me back, I have to let go of the keys that keep me in the driver’s seat. There is no “normal” price to pay that will get this resolved.
I can’t travel towards God by controlling the vehicle, I have to let go, settle back, and let the Divine function through me. I have to trust that God will provide the means, if I let go enough to be guided.
Until I let go and trust in that, I will continue to swing back and forth between these extremes. It’s unproductive for me to think that I can figure out what’s going on, or to try and be pro-active, when we can see how poorly everything functions when I’m left to my own devices.
The solution for me is to let go. I just have to surrender to the process. I just have to hand the keys over. That’s how a person consolidates.
So I’m shown that I’m not going to be able to resolve one extreme against the other. I’m too caught up in the dichotomy. Only in letting go will I be free enough to get to the destination I seek.
