Structural Integrity

John: In the next dream, I’m crossing a bridge and, just as I reach the other side, I see a small commotion and two people are sitting there pondering what has happened. There are some figures of authority milling about, but the people of interest seem to be the older, hippie-type couple who are offering their opinions.

Then I realize that some of the vertical support columns from the bridge have broken loose. It seems at one point they were affixed to the building on the other side of the bridge for extra support. That extra support appears to have helped avoid what could have been a disaster; someone could have plunged off the edge and been hurt.

These two people are evaluating the situation, trying to decipher the old signage that was attached to these columns. They are trying to figure out what the letters “PAT” stand for.

I offer the word “patent” as a possibility, but they say “No, no it was more like PALT or PLAT.” I want them to show me exactly where they’re looking, but instead I end up looking at another sign that seems to date back to the Sixties. I don’t remember what it said, but it created a joke in a cynical way.

During this exchange, I begin to think that I recognize the woman from somewhere; I know she’s from Montana. My sense is that she views Montana as a place that won’t be much affected by the coming changes.

I ask her where she’s from and she says, “Bridgette, near Millet.”  I ask her if that’s south of Dillon. She says, “Yes, by about 80 miles.” I’ve taken the position that I know Montana really well, but I now have to admit that I don’t know much about that part of the state.

What can I learn from this dream imagery? Basically, I’m looking at what it takes to be independently strong in the face of diversity. Wherever I look today I see everything being affected by one dilemma or another. Yet there still is the sense that hope can be found within the turmoil, even though it’s isolated.

This insight comes in an odd way – this woman is not something that I expect. Her husband seems a little cynical, and yet she seems to feel that she has security that’s based upon her isolation or separation (in Montana). I don’t know what to make of that.

As I’m pondering this I see another image of me riding into a herd of cattle, like a cattle drive, and I’m riding into it against the flow. In other words, the cattle hands are pushing this herd along and I’m causing a disruption because I’m riding right into the face of it.

This confuses things and I realize that I’m disrupting what is deemed to be standard practice. This causes me to take another look at the importance of the cattle drive in relationship to me; by going against the flow I’m causing the raw energy to have to adjust.

The dream with the bridge – with the extra support from a building on the other side – having its structural integrity compromised causes me to realize that, little by little, things everywhere are being compromised. And what’s being compromised is the effect of the inner life upon the outer life. That effect, which is proper to the way of human existence, is becoming less and less.

Everything I look at, with a few exceptions, is showing the effects of losing structural integrity, and that’s because real structural integrity comes from the inside out.

In the cattle image, I am seen to be going against this trend or pattern in the herd mentality of the culture. I’m trying to deepen my inner life and let it radiate into the outer world. That’s what a spiritual path is about – allowing the god connection within us to bloom and shine through. In these changing times, when our structural integrity has to come from within – because outer structures are falling apart – it’s more important that ever to have a strong inner foundation.

Inner Balance

John: So yesterday we looked at the first in this series of dreams (see Not Being There), and each subsequent dream progresses in a way that seeks to fix, or evolve, the situation into a better state, from within, but it’s still off. The general inspiration for these dreams is our recent transition from the Northwest to the city of Las Vegas, and our process of making adjustments within ourselves as a result of the different environmental factors

The next images have me preparing to meet with someone. I’ve spent more than 15 minutes trying to get my glasses clean because all kinds of weird stuff has fallen on them. I’m trying to scrape it off.

I see that I’m veering away from where I’m expected to go. When I get to a building, I realize that I still need some sort of metal object that can slice; I need something that’s strong and firm enough that it can cut through things. I must build it myself.

I have permission to go into an area where odds and ends are stored to select something that might work to help rectify the condition. I take out four objects in an effort to alleviate the situation. I think I can use a welding tool to cobble things into place, but what I’ve selected doesn’t work because when I apply any heat to it, it will melt or burn through the material. The tools I have do not have what it takes to hold something in place, so I’m using this material to create something that can slice through. 

Meanwhile, I need to set this project aside because I’m running late and I nearly compromise my principles because I’m under pressure. At the last minute I clean up after the work I’ve done.

In other words, I tried to cut a little of this off, I tried to burn a little of that off, and I made a bit of a mess. I pick up after myself and take what’s left of the implements – they need to be returned. They didn’t work for me, but maybe they can be used as components for something else. I look around to see if I can make anything else work for what I need.

Someone is coming over so I have to put everything aside for now. But instead of putting the tools into a closet or some drawers where they would best be kept, I put some of them into a refrigerator. I can straighten that out later, but at the moment I need to gain some composure for my meeting.

What is this showing me? Well, although I still haven’t accomplished what I was trying to do, I’m aware of what the problem is – I just haven’t acquired the proper tools that I need to be successful.

However, I do realize that I must look within myself for what I need, in order to find balance in the outer life. This will take time, but at least I’m looking around (within) for the tools to resolve the imbalance. If I were looking for the solution in the outer life, I would be in serious trouble.

In the next dream, the imagery moves further toward a sense of completion (after that, my dreams again start to deviate from it, showing that nothing is complete, all is just a step forward and then it all starts over again).

In this dream, I find a condo that I feel I can make into a place of balance. I notice that in doing this, other apartment units near mine start changing, shaping themselves up to be more in a balanced energetic.

So what had been a state of confusion and chaos, in terms of everything being too much to cope with (because of the sensory overload of Las Vegas), is now being brought into greater alignment. I see that I’m able to move about without feeling so lost.

What this adds to the scenario is that, if I take the time to look at what lies within – as an awareness, or as an answer – I’m better able to flow in the maze of the outer world. I’m learning how to hold onto and apply an inner connection that is able to reach into all that is before me.

And I’m starting to find the value latent within (the outer world of Las Vegas) that I ordinarily don’t reach (nor do most people). Nearly everyone in Las Vegas is expecting to catch up with the meaning of this place in some sort of outer reflection, and that is just a veil over what is really here.

Not Being There

John: Since coming to Las Vegas, my initial dream imagery has had the feeling that I’ve lost my sense of being grounded. Everything seems to be distorted. And if I look at the sequence of my dreams, they slowly bring my awareness around to realizing, as you did in Everything is Redeemable, that there is something more below the surface here in Las Vegas. But I had no idea that it would present itself in such a peculiar set of images.

In the dream, I’m way off the ground in terms of the sensation level that I feel. It’s almost like I’m up on a pole that’s being carried by my brother. I have the sensation, as he runs along, that I better not move or I could destabilize the balance of the pole.

I just have to hold on and be as still as possible, then maybe my brother can zip along. It’s one thing for me to be up on the pole, but if I waved, or moved around, I would probably knock him over. I’m remaining very still as he races along.

Eventually I seem to get placed down onto some hay that I sink into. I don’t remember how I suddenly got from the top of the pole down into the hay, but I still feel as if I’m off the ground. I can’t seem to get that “kerplunk” feeling of having dropped down and landed. I still have the feeling that I’m suspended in the air in some way.

In other words, I can’t get settled because I feel like I still have to fall or drop down further to get that final indication, even though I’m already standing in the soft hay. And deep underneath the hay I can hear traffic, as if there is some sort of thoroughfare there. 

My brother mentions that we should have come to this area first. There are things here that I had refused to see before. I’d talked him out of even looking in this direction. However, now that we are here, we’re recognizing that it’s something that’s different from where we had been, and more in keeping with what we’re looking for.

Then the scene shifts and it’s 11pm, yet it still seems like daytime. Now I want to get away from where I am because I have no sense of time, and no sense of balance. I go over to an area where financial stocks are being offered for sale. I place my jacket down as a bid on one of the stocks. Someone gets irritated and says, “Nothing is selling.” 

This is a most curious sensation: being at an exchange where there’s noise and sound like there’s action but, in terms of the activities, nothing is actually going on. Everything is standing still.

At some point I pick my jacket back up and start walking away. My jacket had represented a bid to buy one of the stocks, so someone comments, “There goes one,” meaning someone who was going to make something happen. So, the sensation is that in both images nothing is making sense when I look more closely. 

So this dream is characterizing the sensation I’m feeling, in which everything I’m perceiving is out of balance. I’m trying to be perfectly still, as if that will stabilize the condition and not cause something to get rocked around. But there’s nothing that I’m able to do that will make a difference.

The energetic is so ungrounded that even when I see myself as having my feet on the ground, I still feel like I need to experience a further drop. I still have the sensation and suspense of having to fall a great distance to land on the ground, and whether I can survive that or not I don’t know.

Even if I got that sensation out of my system, there was still the problem of the traffic corridor underneath where I was standing. As a result, I’m disoriented in terms of balance, time, and body sensation. Nothing is in order.

When I go to where commerce is being conducted, with all the sound and fervor, still nothing is happening. Even there I have to pick up my jacket and walk away. All of my intuitive and sensing functions are off; they’re not working.

So this transition to Las Vegas has basically thrown my system into turmoil, and now I have to begin to re-establish my sense of things. Dreams actually help our systems to rebalance during our sleep, when we are most open to the guidance.