John: In this first dream I’m being shown how to take and use a throwing disc. It has a hole in the center and is like a Frisbee; there’s a way of using it as if it’s a type of perpetual motion object.
There’s a person who’s showing a few of us how to do this. The others are really just there, I guess, because it’s ultimately going to fall upon me to have to pass along this understanding. The way it works is you throw the disc at a wall, it bounces off and hits another wall, and then bounces off the corner and comes back, like a boomerang.
In between, there are all sorts of obstacles. Some how or other, the disc works its way through all of the obstacles without getting stopped or slowing down. It comes back with the same energetic force no matter what it bumps into – nothing is lost. That’s why I’m describing it as a “perpetual motion” object.
So when it is thrown, I don’t have to worry where I’m aiming, because the nature of the disc is that it will find its way back. On my first attempt I throw it out very weakly and slowly, not with a lot of force or power. Even so, it seems that no matter what force I throw it with, it still comes back at the same speed, without losing its energy.
Now that I’ve been trained, I have to take this skill into my (outer) life. Only I’m not playing with the disc any longer, I’m just playing with energetic force. The energy needs to be sent out into the universe, and I don’t know if it is supposed to return or just be encompassed within the universe.
All I know is that it’s not supposed to change. It’s supposed to maintain itself. I’m supposed to be able to look out there and see that however it has affected or touched something, that effect remains unaltered.
At first I see the energy penetrate, and it seems to be going through all that I can see in front of me. However, when I take a look more closely, I realize that what I’ve thrown out there has changed. It has been altered and distorted.
This is very disconcerting because I had such high hopes that this could be done and somehow saw that it could be done. Yet when it really counts and is projected out there as an essence of one’s self, as an impulse of one’s self, it degenerates into this appalling distortion.
This result is unexpected and it tears me up inside because I know and feel within that it wasn’t supposed to happen. I start sweating again during my sleep because of this. My whole sense of what I was shown was taken in so literally, I hadn’t expected that this could even happen.
In my sleep, the stress of this causes me to sweat profusely. I’m unable to realize what has gone wrong or how something designed to stay intact has fallen apart.
Tomorrow we will look at the second dream in this sequence and discuss the overall theme and how they the two dreams are related.