Breaking Through

John: In this dream, the overall feeling is of working with space and energy. It feels like, night after night, I’m coming up against something that I’m meant to break through. Yet, because I’m not in the right inner state, I don’t make a breakthrough.

This has a consequence in the outer life because I begin to sweat during my sleep. It’s like something foreign has control over me. I find myself throwing off the covers to cool down.

But it has also caused me to see a reflection inside where I can go back to an earlier point in time. In that space, everything is easier, but it’s bland. It doesn’t carry any clarity with it, but it’s an easy pattern to follow and it stops the sweating.

The problem is that it will repeat and repeat and repeat, because I’m shown this situation as an opportunity to make a breakthrough. When I don’t, it keeps coming back. In other words, what is happening is that I’m given a challenge and an opportunity, but part of me knows there is an easier way out, and that is by slipping into an old and familiar pattern rather than pushing into new territory (and growth).

When I accept the easier way, it takes the pressure off and I stop sweating. But the state it leaves me in has no energy; there’s nothing left for me in it, so it feels like a state of malaise.

In a sense, this happens in our lives all the time. We may see a familiar choice as being easier, even desirable, but when we make it, it leaves us feeling a little empty – a little sad. That’s what this dream feels like. Choosing the old pattern is like opting to stay asleep, or in a state of unconsciousness, and that lacks clarity and vibrancy.

When I don’t break through, I don’t catch the new note – the note that is almost beckoning me to come through to it. Instead of struggling just a bit more, I end up taking a step away from the edge, to a safer place, but one where there’s nothing left to sort, or figure, out.

I’m settling for the repetitive pattern. Thus, I lose the opportunity for a higher state, for a breakthrough, just to ease the stress I experience that causes me to sweat.

That’s the premise of the dream. Does that make sense?

I’ve experienced this before, so I recognized the theme right away. We can’t just ignore what’s in front of us, we either have to deal with it or, sometimes, we take that step back so it’s no longer at a point of consequence. We seek refuge in what is familiar.

When we do that, we lose the potential for new clarity, new light, or a greater sense of knowing that could open up to us. Somehow we know this, that’s why we get this feeling of sadness when we take the easier way – when we settle for the old pattern. Deep down we know we’ve lost something.

When I sweat like that during a dream, it’s almost like purging or cleansing before the breakthrough or shift. Yet I keep stopping short of the breakthrough, so all I get is the discomfort.

And, ultimately, if we want to progress in our lives we have to make these breakthroughs within ourselves. Yes, sometimes we will delay them because some part of us isn’t quite ready, but we will have to follow where the road leads in order to get where we want to go.

Sometimes just surrendering to that truth can make it easier. Because on a certain level, we can’t avoid the lessons we need to learn, we can only delay learning them. When we feel the sadness of these lost opportunities, it can give us the fortitude to push through the next time.

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