John: So in the last two dreams I’m seeing an opportunity to make progress on my journey (see Breaking Through and The Third Wheel). And although the imagery is different, the opportunity is like that of a note being held out before me. Even though I haven’t broken through yet, and I haven’t owned it, or taken it on completely in a knowing way, it is there for me to reach.
Sometimes, in life, when I meet a person, I can almost see something of the future, because that person will carry the seeds of it as a vibration in them. In the same way, this note is held out to me, letting me see that I have to just sit with it and let it become me.
If I change it in any way, meaning if I take its purity and add some abstraction in terms of hiding and, therefore, also avoiding the directness of the note, ultimately this leads me to an old established pattern. In the same way as in the second dream, if I pause or hesitate, that is enough to introduce the abstraction.
Ultimately, by understanding these images I can see that I have no choice but to stop this equivocation because it’s holding me back from the note. So whether I’m sweating to break through or pausing from my forward momentum, in both scenarios I’m losing my opportunity to connect with the note and leave old patterns and ways behind.
The two guides, one leading and one encouraging me to keep going, are like a type of note, a patented quality. The unpatented quality is the state where something goes around and around and creates all this melodrama that is a complete waste of time. And all the melodrama disappears when you hit the right note, or tuning fork, within the whole. That’s a big shift, that’s a major breakthrough.
The greater theme of all of this is that some insignificant aspect of my ego-nature is limiting me, but the bigger schematic in the whole is to be able to just take on the light for the sake of the light and not have to deal with what you see with your naked eyes in terms of the physical; to actually be able to see something more just by the sake of the light itself being there in the overall.
Ninety-nine percent of what we experience is the world of matter – the world we see around us. But the spiritual journey challenges us to catch up with the one percent that is intangible. It’s available and so apparent that we don’t notice it. We take it for granted. But it’s just like we take an unconscious breath and don’t realize that through the breath we actually modulate everything there is in the universe. If you only we knew that we could do that and are doing that.
These are the notes inside that we can catch up with. However, if we spin away with all our idiosyncrasies, we won’t catch up with it. If we’re doing practices, such as meditation and dream work, we can develop a certain knowing inside. Yet if we don’t own the energy to the point where we can take it into the note that we are meant to bring into this life and carry, then we are just giving it away. It gets dissipated.
I had a healer work on me recently, and she caused me to be able to see this mannerism that I have, that fluctuates back and forth. I purposely do it because part of me thinks that I have to, but what she did was point out energetically, not with words, that I’m hiding what I don’t need to hide.
I have some fear of discovery, that exposure will hurt me, and I even hide it in my higher-self schematic of things. I have enough of a sense of it to know that I don’t want it to show.
In other words, many people go through life thinking that they have to couch or hide their feelings, thoughts, emotions, or their attitudes. I actually feel like I have to hide a certain quality inside me – of my spirituality – and that limits my ability to fully take it on.
So I come up to a point and then I skewer it; I purposely kind of sabotage it. Because I go back and forth in this pattern, it does lead me to a lot of interesting insights about things. On a deep level inside myself I’m saying I hope I never become like the word in the dream, “patented,” because that takes on a particular, fixed mode.
What I don’t want to happen though is to become a victim of something that usurps the energy because it’s not able to quite hear the note that signals its own next step. I’ve looked at it and looked at it, and the reason why it can’t hear that note is because of the traumas built in to its cellular structure that keep floating to the surface.