Not Being There

John: Since coming to Las Vegas, my initial dream imagery has had the feeling that I’ve lost my sense of being grounded. Everything seems to be distorted. And if I look at the sequence of my dreams, they slowly bring my awareness around to realizing, as you did in Everything is Redeemable, that there is something more below the surface here in Las Vegas. But I had no idea that it would present itself in such a peculiar set of images.

In the dream, I’m way off the ground in terms of the sensation level that I feel. It’s almost like I’m up on a pole that’s being carried by my brother. I have the sensation, as he runs along, that I better not move or I could destabilize the balance of the pole.

I just have to hold on and be as still as possible, then maybe my brother can zip along. It’s one thing for me to be up on the pole, but if I waved, or moved around, I would probably knock him over. I’m remaining very still as he races along.

Eventually I seem to get placed down onto some hay that I sink into. I don’t remember how I suddenly got from the top of the pole down into the hay, but I still feel as if I’m off the ground. I can’t seem to get that “kerplunk” feeling of having dropped down and landed. I still have the feeling that I’m suspended in the air in some way.

In other words, I can’t get settled because I feel like I still have to fall or drop down further to get that final indication, even though I’m already standing in the soft hay. And deep underneath the hay I can hear traffic, as if there is some sort of thoroughfare there. 

My brother mentions that we should have come to this area first. There are things here that I had refused to see before. I’d talked him out of even looking in this direction. However, now that we are here, we’re recognizing that it’s something that’s different from where we had been, and more in keeping with what we’re looking for.

Then the scene shifts and it’s 11pm, yet it still seems like daytime. Now I want to get away from where I am because I have no sense of time, and no sense of balance. I go over to an area where financial stocks are being offered for sale. I place my jacket down as a bid on one of the stocks. Someone gets irritated and says, “Nothing is selling.” 

This is a most curious sensation: being at an exchange where there’s noise and sound like there’s action but, in terms of the activities, nothing is actually going on. Everything is standing still.

At some point I pick my jacket back up and start walking away. My jacket had represented a bid to buy one of the stocks, so someone comments, “There goes one,” meaning someone who was going to make something happen. So, the sensation is that in both images nothing is making sense when I look more closely. 

So this dream is characterizing the sensation I’m feeling, in which everything I’m perceiving is out of balance. I’m trying to be perfectly still, as if that will stabilize the condition and not cause something to get rocked around. But there’s nothing that I’m able to do that will make a difference.

The energetic is so ungrounded that even when I see myself as having my feet on the ground, I still feel like I need to experience a further drop. I still have the sensation and suspense of having to fall a great distance to land on the ground, and whether I can survive that or not I don’t know.

Even if I got that sensation out of my system, there was still the problem of the traffic corridor underneath where I was standing. As a result, I’m disoriented in terms of balance, time, and body sensation. Nothing is in order.

When I go to where commerce is being conducted, with all the sound and fervor, still nothing is happening. Even there I have to pick up my jacket and walk away. All of my intuitive and sensing functions are off; they’re not working.

So this transition to Las Vegas has basically thrown my system into turmoil, and now I have to begin to re-establish my sense of things. Dreams actually help our systems to rebalance during our sleep, when we are most open to the guidance.

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