Sitting Here in Limbo

John: My dream starts off with me feeling compelled, without knowing why, to get in the back of a vehicle with a bunch of others. I’m not sure where we’re going, but the others seem fine with wherever life takes them. I’m not that way yet.

The vehicle drives into the countryside and comes to an area where there are apples. These apples seem unusually large, and it’s almost like they’ve been rounded up – they’re not all on the trees, but have been gathered into a certain area.

Everyone piles out of the vehicle. They all seem to have a bag for gathering up the apples. No one says anything to me, so I find myself a container. Then I go inside a building, where there are more apples, while everyone else is outside. Everyone else seems to know exactly what they’re doing: picking up the biggest apples. 

I’m just trying to pick up everything that’s there. As I proceed, I notice that there’s an ear of corn. It doesn’t belong but I figure I should just deal with what’s there. I could tell that in relationship to the intent of the others – who are going after the big apples – that there’s something to be said for just getting the job done. 

So in this imagery I am participating, and my sense of things is that I need to participate, even if I’m not quite sure what my role is. I may not feel the focus as the others do – I’m questioning myself – but that’s because I’m still sorting myself out. I’m still coming to terms with how I see myself.

Then I had a second dream:

I go to a large ranch in the countryside. The owner of this ranch seems to accept me, as if I’m a wayward person who doesn’t quite have his bearings. He allows me to stay.

I know he runs a huge operation with a lot to take care of, yet he still picks up the phone when I call. There’s a linkage between us that I don’t understand; it’s like he’s related, although I’m not sure how. 

Then a cousin drops by who also owns property in the area. It turns out that I have ownership in a piece of land that sits in the midst of this cousin’s property. The cousin is interested in reaching a settlement, and I could tell that the rancher thought I should do something with property. 

But I have an unsure feeling. It confuses me, and I don’t know exactly why. I can’t put my finger on it, so I’m not sure what I need to do to resolve it.

Both these dreams continue a recent theme in which I have a sense that there is something more that I need to catch up with. I keep having the feeling that there’s something more to know or do, but I’m not quite recognizing what that is.

I think I’m supposed to recognize what it is, in a new way, as soon as I’m in the midst of the situation. It’s like it’s supposed to just pop through. But I’m blocking it somehow.

All I have to work with are threads that seem to direct me and that want to unfold before me. The fact that I have some reason to end up way out amongst the apples or on a ranch seems to indicate that something needs to come through. But whatever it is, it seems to want to come through in a way that’s different from how I usually tend to see myself.

So I’m in a kind of in-between state – perhaps between the past and the future. Something is changing and I need to let go of my patterns and expectations. I need to let go of my image of myself in order to be open to the information that I’m supposed to catch up with or bring through.

Until that happens, I’ll remain in a state of bewilderment, because the needed information will elude me. I feel like I just want to settle back and wait to see what’s unfolding. Because I can’t fit the pieces together, I’m reluctant to do anything because I don’t want to confuse the situation or make things worse.

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