John: In continuing the story from yesterday (see That Which is Given), next we spend a week in Las Vegas and I notice what you’re doing, in terms of assessing the possibilities, and I begin to think there really is something to this idea of moving there. On some level, something has been triggered, or invoked. So when I tried to step back as if the idea were insane, it closed down a few of your “screens,” which hurt you because you were meant to have them open. Once they were triggered open, you know, it was game on.
So that opening caused you to compel something from me, so I had to step back to see what was being compelled. As I came back to the idea, I immediately noticed that it opened up your screens again. There’s a power and control to that, and I have to be sensitive to it, even though I hadn’t fully bought into the plan yet. So what I did was I sat and watched you.
You were going around arranging this and that, and I asked myself how it felt. And it felt right. But at the same time, it didn’t feel right when I started overindulging in the idea myself; it was better for me to sit and be pulled along by the process as things were opening up.
This reminds me of a statement you made early in our relationship. You said that things always come to a point, in you, where you’d reach a certain capacity inside, but the masculine aspect couldn’t stretch to the degree that was required for you to continue to progress or open up. It made you crazy because you felt the urge to take the next step.
And I’ve seen over and over again how that pattern happens to you. It prevents you from ever getting too comfortable. I never forgot that statement because when that depth opens up, by whatever means, it has to have the correspondence in the masculine in order to facilitate it and, if it doesn’t, it gets agitated or out of whack. It has a knowingness that is subjective, and it can’t stay in a situation in which it’s not allowed to be how and what and who it is.
That idea connects me to the problems people face when they get on a spiritual path. The problems begin when the teacher recognizes that the student is making the connection. To that point, the teacher may act as if he doesn’t want to lose the student, so he has to cater to them in a way. When the student connects, then the fun can begin.
What happens next is that the means of communication between student and teacher shifts to a level that’s unnoticeable to everyone except the two of them. The student might not even notice it, or will feel that the teacher is ignoring them. That may bother them because they have felt close before.
The student might expect the teacher to be speaking to them, but the teacher doesn’t because they’re already connected in a whole other way on the inner, not in the mundane outer sense.
In other words, when the teacher says that it’s easier to communicate and relate to the student at night, it’s because at night, when something comes through on the inner level, the noise and confusion of the waking state is not a factor. This is literally how it works.
Students who are accepting of this don’t even need to ask questions anymore. The answers are given to them through the ether. In fact, there was a student from Europe who was telling me they no longer needed to tell the teacher their dreams.
In fact, this student felt that at some particular point the questions come to an end and so does the communicating of the dreams because the answers are already inside if a person allows themselves to listen. The answers are compelled to come to a person once they become connected. From an outer perspective the teacher may seem more distant, yet on an inner level the connection is much deeper.
So, as I’m going through night after night of turmoil – sweating because I’m resistant to opening up – there’s a vibration of the heart that says I can do this: I can make this breakthrough. The answer has been compelled to me.
As I seem to be close to making a breakthrough, I give myself permission to go deeper in my sleep. When I do that I unleash what is still pent up and it comes out (I sweat again profusely). It’s emerging in some fashion; it’s working itself out.
