Missing the Connection

John: This dream starts off with me in a library in Las Vegas. There’s a man sitting at the same table going through files and records. He calls his boss and, referencing what he has discovered in the files says, “This could be big.” 

There are a lot of different things to look at in the library. That tells me that there might be something there that I should be paying closer attention to. I’m busy with my research, not sure what I’m looking for, but knowing I’ll recognize it when I see it. The time is ticking away. 

Meanwhile, you’re sitting at another table, patiently waiting for me to finish my research. In the back of my mind, I know that there’s something on our schedule that we need to do. I’m not sure, but it might be a show that we need to get to by 5:30pm.

Suddenly the time has passed and I realize that, in my indulgence, I’ve forgotten our appointment and you didn’t remind me, either. I get a sinking feeling and say to you, “Did we miss the show?” You don’t respond – perhaps you’re angry with me. I repeat my question, but I can’t get a response from you. This bothers me so much that I jerk myself away from what I’m doing to find out. Then I wake up. 

The meaning here is that there’s something for me to hear and know, which lies within, and I must stay in touch with it. If I don’t, I’ll end up off on a tangent and I’ll lose my connection (miss the appointment). The problem is that I’m easily distracted (my research) by things that I want to believe are interesting, even though they rarely turn out to be so.

Nevertheless, I can spin off thinking that this time will be different. It never is. I simply need to stay in touch with that which is from the depths within and not get lost in my involvement with the outer illusion.

We have a place inside (when we catch up with our receptivity) through which we can know what it is that we need to do. We get a knowing, which is a feeling of sureness that’s different from a scenario of “wishing” or “hoping” for an outcome, which is a form of mental projection. When we have a knowing, we hear it; we feel it. There’s a sense of it at an inner depth.

For each of us, that experience, or process, is a little different. Generally we are caught up in old patterns that prevent us from hearing what we know inside, or we’ll dismiss it because it’s not exactly what we want to hear.

So we need to form a real relationship with our inner selves, understanding that what the universe wants for us might be different than what we want, or what we think we want. So, rather than pursuing our own desires about a certain outcome, we need to ask for guidance and then listen to what we receive from a deeper place.

This often can go against the general cultural expectations in life, but going against our inner guidance always will lead us to greater trouble down the road. We might have a near term gain in cultural terms, but there will be a cost for us later on in terms of us having veered away from the greater flow of life. When we are natural to our inner processes, we don’t have to wander about hoping to stumble upon something meaningful, because everything becomes meaningful.

In this next dream, I’m being shown why there was something wrong with the water I’m getting. This is made visual by a small amount of water being poured into a plastic, quart-sized container I have. Someone brings the water to me, and my container is already 80% full. The container needs to be topped up with this new water in order to prove something. 

I begin by trying to pour the water in, but I pour it off to one side and miss the container. Eventually I do get the water in. I realize “Wow, it is a bit cloudy!”

But now the water is pure, it’s drinkable, but it’s cloudy. I just need to filter the cloudiness out.

This progresses to the next dream, where I’m at an open window that’s in a high part of a house. A young boy and girl are trying to climb up a tree outside the window. They’re able to reach my level.

Their father is on the ground in the yard playing with some other kids. The young boy and girl seem to have a natural trust in me; they know that I’m okay. I pick the boy up from the tree and bring him inside the window. As I’m holding him, the girl knows she’s next.

Of course my intention is to reach out and lift her inside, too, but holding the boy is blocking my reach. I’m not meeting the expectation of the girl and she suddenly loses her grip. She now has one hand on the tree and one on the windowsill. Finally, she has to let go of the tree and just hold onto the windowsill. 

Try as I might, I just can’t seem to reach her because having the boy in my arms limits my capacity. She’s about to fall, so I yell for help. I know it’s too late, so I let go of the boy to reach her. I don’t know if I let go of one hand or both.

I wake up not knowing if my efforts were successful or not. My sense it that it was too late by a split second and the girl fell.

The meaning here is that I have access, but it’s not yet as clear as it needs to be (the cloudy water) to complete what needs to be taken in. The issue is that I’m not properly meeting the trust of my feminine sensitive side (represented by the young girl), which is an aspect of the heart, and as a result I’m not completing the connection and bringing it in.

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