Jeane: Memories of my first dream are a bit vague, but I think it was influenced by having seen the stage production of Kà last night because it feels like it’s taking place in a large domed area.
In the dream I’m actually in the backseat of a car (within the larger domed area). There are two men with me most of the time, but it also feels like other men come floating through the car and give me a kiss or make love to me or something. It’s a little vague because the two men in the car are more solid, and the others who float through briefly are very wispy.
That dream shifts and I’m in a larger outside area that’s more rugged. I go to a Chinese man and woman who are martial art masters, and they take me through their martial art form. Then the woman indicates that she really doesn’t want to take on a full-time student and that what I should do is take a hike or journey through the mountains.
Every night on that journey a different teacher will take me through a form, or teach me, and she says it will really build my stamina. However, then she comments, “But of course there’s nothing left of those teachers because they give everything to their students.”
John: Hmmm, that imagery is speaking of a state of suspense, or describing a gap. And the gap has to do with the way your inner masculine is attempting to bring things through. There’s a part of your inner masculine that’s solid and has an acceptance and recognition that’s necessary for you to function. That part’s connected to a space that’s traveling to an inner depth (it’s in the car with you). In other words, you have that quality to embrace and maintain.
The wispier, less defined masculine is pointing out a lack of recognition by you. The part of you that has some question, doubt, or fear, or that goes askew from what it’s able or meant to know and sustain in terms of its connected presence, the part of you that’s askew from that is still the part of you that’s looking around, that’s Traveling Toward God. When it shifts, because of greater recognition, the part that’s rooted and grounded shifts to where you’re able to learn, but learn from what you already have, not from that which you still feel is askew and in need of being realized or brought in.
So, when you learn from that which is rooted – recognizing it as a base and a solidness that you can reside in and be comfortable with how it is – that’s when you realize that whatever there is to learn is already in there. That’s when you see that you’re given, or have received, or have taken in all that there is. And what appears in the outer is essentially no longer something reachable.
This dream has a deeper meaning too. The dream means that as you have been thrashing about trying to find a cadence or balance in the masculine, you have been recognizing what you already have in terms of connection, even though part of you still reaches for a greater connection. The thing that you’re finding so surprising is that there’s an independence that you didn’t realize was there, or was possible, that you have in terms of the connection.
You have always thought or believed or had the impression that what was occurring had a dependency upon the situation. You’re finding that you actually have an independence, that you know that state of independence and have found that state of independence – not completely, of course, but to the degree that you have found it you realize that there is nothing tangible about it.
And as long as you’re looking for something that isn’t yet complete, your conceptualization still has you imagining it to be something that has a tangible quality to it. If that isn’t there, then something is missing.
In your dream, even though there may be a sense of something missing, it still exists on one level. There’s the recognition and sense that what you have reached or found within is leaving you free of the idea of a need. To be free of an idea of a need means that what you’ve found inside you, is you, as opposed to something that has come together from a separate area.
So you have come to own some part of the process of awakening. In coming to know that part of the process of awakening, what falls away is the mystery of the teacher, because when you come to know it, there is no longer a difference between you. While you’re still reaching there is this sense of clamoring to try to make the breakthroughs – to take the steps, to have the recognition, to touch the awakening, and so there is a searching-out energetic that comes into play when you see yourself that way.
When you come to see the part of you that’s perfectly fine – even if it’s just a small part of you that’s perfectly fine, even though you still have the other part that’s still searching for more, that part that you find that’s totally fine is something that’s given to you, or that is you, in such a way that you can no longer place it in terms of a scenario or a schematic. You can’t create a schematic for it.
When you’re aspiring or reaching and haven’t yet touched what’s necessary, your mind will create a whole schematic of a journey. That begins to fall away when you recognize the journey is in you.
