John: Right at awakening I had one of those dreams that was similar to your dream (see Subtle Effects), in which there’s a small internal hiccup that I know I have – and I feel okay with it – almost as if I think I have to leave it hanging out there just to see what happens. It does cause some stress to have this little aspect, but I must carry some type of righteousness in my nature that makes me feel I need to keep this little part intact.
It was a lucid dream. I was convinced that it was actually happening, and when I did wake up it left me feeling estranged energetically – I was lost and discombobulated. The imagery was pointing out how (as in your dream), this little energetic that until now I’ve been okay with and just let be, now I need to hone in on that.
What’s interesting about this little energetic is that first of all I have to be careful because I always go to extremes when I see something come slipping in. It’s meant to get my attention, whereas before it was something that was just “in the wind,” so to speak. I never really gave it a second thought.
Often times with little energetics like this it’s just something that one needs to take into account and then the change happens because of that inner acknowledgement. This becomes a type of forgiveness that a person can do for themselves, and which goes back and eliminates the hiccup. This touch of forgiveness relieves something in relationship to the inner impediment that caused the energetic to exist, possibly formed as far back as the way one was brought up, or the way a person reacts to the circumstances of their life. It appears as a type of herky-jerky defense mechanism.
This is a softer way of looking at it as opposed to taking it so literally that you mess your self up further. The reason I say that is because it’s the little nuances we’re looking at, and when we take them out of the equation, we’re exposing ourselves to more light. And, therefore, potentially subjecting ourselves to more collateral damage because the more light we take on, the more responsibility we take on. If we’re not able to take on the light with the responsibility, it can create even more issues for us to deal with.
Some part of us knows that it works this way and, as a consequence, when we’re hit with something that we suddenly don’t like, or feel bad about, we suddenly get it and it’s like, “Oh my gosh! Why didn’t we see this before?”
Well, we did see it, but we didn’t quite take it fully into account or take it into our awareness, which leaves us with a woeful feeling. If we then take that woe to an extreme, we can end up being burned in the light instead of listening and holding onto the greater enfoldment awakening inside.
In other words, we don’t let that little hiccup cause us to go off the deep end in terms of the bigger picture. We need to recognize it as a correction. The nature of light is that it can clean off the coarser aspects of reality in the outer, yet it can also cause us to burn if it’s too much too soon.