An Inconvenient Truth

John: In my dream, I look at myself and see that my demeanor is changing to a more set way of being. I’ve stopped and I’m looking at myself the way I’m going to be a week from now, or a month from now. I’m surprised by what I see. I expected to be changing to a more carefree demeanor, but what I see is that I’m getting more set in my ways.

Deep down I know that this isn’t the way I’m meant to be. I’m able to faintly recognize, repressed within, what I consider a meaningful and open state in terms of a beingness. However, in the outer, I see no sense of the openness, joy, or free flow that I believe to be important for my overall wellbeing.  

Instead I’ve become more rigid in my demeanor and less fluid in my expression. I take this image seriously because what I see suggests that if I continue withholding, over time I’ll become more withdrawn. What I’ve admired about myself, in my heart’s eye, seems to have gotten repressed.

Interesting, right? It’s said that a human being is like a chameleon who can adapt to their environment. If the environment is closed off, though, we tend to change to accommodate it. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Deep down we know a better way of being.

The purpose of a dream like this is to cause me to take note of how I’m reflecting my surroundings. But I’m meant to take responsibility for what I bring into life, not to subordinate myself to the ways of the outer world just to be comfortable in, or to fit, my environment.

The outer, waking life, is an environment that’s removed from what’s real; I can still see deep within a greater freedom compared to how I’m becoming outwardly.

That’s the first dream.

The second dream doesn’t get any better, but it is more poignant.

I see myself in a warehouse, feeling out of place. The space is filled with machines that look like lathes and punch presses. I see two men working on the machines and one man is congratulating the other for getting it right. I know that I have no idea how to operate them.  

Then I realize that I’ve been in a room for quite some time and I’m not sure what I’ve been doing – looking at a computer or something. But I’m not staying busy. Part of me tries to justify this, but I can’t because I’m there for a reason and that calls for me to be able to do certain things. I’m wondering what’s happened to the boss, and why he hasn’t wondered where I’ve been. He hasn’t seen me and I haven’t seen him.  

I mean, something’s got to take charge of things and yet I’m left to hang out. I look at the room I’m in: it’s small and very dirty. There’s dirt in the corners and even weeds growing up through the concrete floor.

I realize that part of my reason for being there is to keep things clean. I find some gloves and put them on, but I’m not going to pull the weeds. I need to sweep up, so I have to find a push broom. I find a broom handle but no broom head. I’m walking and thinking that if the boss comes he’ll see that I’m trying.  

In an isolated part of the warehouse I find a push broom, but it’s worn out. The thought crosses my mind that maybe this business has fallen on hard times and that my job might even be in question as well.

As I start to leave this area, at a loss for what to do, I decide to go back and get the beat up old push broom. But now I can’t even find it.

I turn around to leave and another worker starts rummaging around where I’ve just been and he pulls out a push broom that’s fine. The shock of seeing this is like a wakeup call. I’m so taken aback that I jolt awake.

Meaning: I’m not being how I’m meant to be in the place where I am – in this life, on this earth. I’ve quit doing what I need to do and the environment has gotten dirty. Weeds are growing where weeds don’t belong. It’s as if I’ve been left in this place on my own for too long.

I need to start doing what I’m meant to – on my own. I don’t need to be told. I can see what’s needed. I’m not properly focused. If I were, I would find the right tools to do what’s required.

This points to the idea that on an inner level, we all know that there’s something else we should be doing, rather than just conforming to the culture. Humans are here for a much greater reason, but most of us don’t acknowledge that fact. It’s an inconvenient truth. That’s why there’s often a vague feeling of being adrift, or lost, in our lives. These dreams are trying to get me back on track.

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