The Ultimate Responsibility

John: In this final dream of the night, a school project is not being finished in a timely way. I’ve organized and written it, and I’ve sent it out to be printed, but it hasn’t come back. If I don’t turn in the result on time, then I’m going to fail the class.  

Instead of indulging in this worry, I’m pleased to see another couple working together on their assignment. The woman is making necessary changes that the man recommends. She’s making edit marks on what’s written and she’s going to take it and put it together as a complete package.  

Because I’ve finished this phase of work, I know what’s next for her. She has to put together certain flow charts as part of her work, so I offer, on the side, some pointers and suggestions. It’s up to her if she wants to use my suggestions. She can’t mimic or copy me, though, she has to figure out how this works by herself.  

I couldn’t show her what I’ve done even if I wanted to because it’s not in my possession. I’m kind of lucky in that regard because, if I did have it, she might want me to show her more directly or provide answers, which would be inappropriate. I give her a few hints, but I can’t do anything more than that.

All of a sudden I realize that I’m still going to fail the class if I don’t write up another term paper – in addition to the project I’ve already done. I have to write everything down and it will count as half the grade. I haven’t even started this paper; I’ve been procrastinating.  

If it wasn’t for being pressured by the woman, I’d have completely forgotten about this assignment. Now it’s the last possible moment and I’m on the verge of cracking up. I’m not sure I can get this done because I’ve made no effort to document or take in the bits and pieces that need to be incorporated.

In trying to pull it together, I realize that the time has arrived when I have to live what I know. I’ve been so focused on following the thread to see what could be revealed, or done, next, that I’m unprepared to make the shift into living this knowledge. My only hope is that something has stuck along the way.

So where does this leave me? I’ve given pointers to others on the path, but to actually live this, and be able to project the whole from within, strikes me as an overwhelming responsibility. Yet it is the other half of the spiritual journey, and the most important.

I’ve had this type of dream before, about taking a class and the whole grade being based upon writing a thesis at the end. So I’d go to the class and learn little tidbits that didn’t mean too much by themselves, because it was the bringing of it all together in the thesis that mattered.

There’s a point in a spiritual journey where we have been given many bits and pieces of knowledge, but it ultimately must be made whole through us and in us. It can seem we are always unready for the next step, but there’s a state in which our perceptions have to be worked through us, on our own, so they can become direct knowings.

It’s a tough step and can lead to procrastination. In the dream I was happy to help others while I was avoiding something that I had to personally do.

What’s interesting is that we now have three dreams that form a sequence of teachings (see In Touch with the Flow and Out of the Collective Trance).

The dreaming starts off where I gain the recognition that to be in touch with the flow, I can’t be inhibited by my environment (the world around me) or I won’t be able to resonate with what lies within as the fountain of all knowledge.

To reach this state, the second dream shows that I need to let go of any personal biases and the limitations of the collective consciousness, which serve to hold any awakening back.

And the final lesson tells me that what I experience on an inner level must become so real for me energetically that I live it. In a sense, every student of a spiritual path must learn to fly on their own. The knowledge, the teachings, and the support are only guides for becoming. The ultimate responsibility for a life lies with the individual.

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