The Need for Redemption

John: Your dream yesterday was not surprising to me at all because my dream also dealt with the issue of abuse by those in authority. From a masculine perspective, though, in my dream I’m the abusive authority (for Jeane’s dream, see Updating the Past).

Your dream also had me wondering about the ancient history inside us. I’m from one Scottish clan and you’re from another, a clan that actually feuded with mine. We’re almost at opposite polarities.

This caused me to ponder the idea that, somehow or other, opposite polarities actually do work together more than we realize: they’re attracted in order to resolve something, or in order to pull something together. It’s like Yin and Yang or, should I say, like an electron and a proton in the atomic structure?

On a vibrational level, what does the other half, or perspective, tend to look like? We are in a position that needs to accommodate both halves, showing compassion toward the other, and knowing how to work with it, even though there has been abuse – whether by gender, by history, or by people in this specific life. How can we facilitate the resolving, or healing, of whatever it is that’s reactive to the abuse, and/or is in a position to abuse?

What I see in your imagery is that you’re drawing closer to this resolution, in terms of a historical depth within you – to the vibrational level where it sits. In my dream, the way this opens up for me is that I have to start out, symbolically, in a state or a space that then travels backward in time to where the vibration, which is unfamiliar to me, is located. That location is at some point in my history.

In the dream I’m asked to participate directly in the operation of a casino. I have some sort of bond with this place and I’m naturally invited into its power structure.  

To begin with, what I experience comes naturally. I keep gravitating more and more to the core of the operation, getting involved in the functioning of what really makes the casino tick.  

Each phase of my progress triggers memories of having been there, and having done this work, before. Eventually, though, I reach a point where I’m seen as the problem – by the average person who comes to the casino to enjoy it – and a deep anger is vented toward me.

It’s as if I’m a ruler who hasn’t done right by his people: they’ve had it and it’s time for a change. Those who operate the casino bring me right into the epicenter of the hostility. They’re very calm about it; it all comes down on me.  

I’m in a quandary because I don’t know what I did to cause such an upheaval and negative reaction. All I was doing was aspiring to a greater depth of familiarity with the casino until, in the final image, the average person sees me as the person who’s abused his authority to such a degree that I have to be replaced.  

What I find interesting is that this was an inner adventure where I kept going further and further into the depth of me. At first, it was easy and exciting, and I was progressing very quickly. I felt as if I belonged there and was meant to reach this point within myself. But then I triggered this outer reaction.

All those involved in the management of the casino were eager for me to take the position of authority. They stepped aside and the problem was mine alone, even though this problem was hidden, or dormant, until I reached this deep inner place.

This reminds me of having done something very direct and controlling (a misuse of power), that I now find deep within me a place that’s desperately in need of redemption. It’s from this deep-seated inner background that I carry the memory of the way conditions unfolded. I’m picking up on this vibration from my past. If the dream is indicative of just this vibration, then I’m to contend with the rift that was created – or the rift will contend with me.

In the dream, I reach this inner place, as if I were transported very quickly back in time to a vibration that carries a conditioned heaviness. I don’t know why the reaction feels so catatonic, but it seems to have something to do with me.

This dream is drawing me closer to this vibration, a place where confusion, pandemonium, the epitome of a breakdown in reaction dominates. In doing so I’m confronted with having to sort this out.

Just the feeling of the reactive vibration, even though I don’t have any facts about how this came to be, is a start. It would seem that the inner powers-that-be have come together, through me, to reach this point. They are entrusting me with the responsibility to sort this out or face the consequences.

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