Talking to Myself

John: In my dream, there’s a component in which there’s a distraction. It’s east to denote the distraction, in my case, because it can be seen as something that’s bugging or hurting me. This distraction lies in the fact that I’ve got a painful shoulder that I have to contend with when I sleep.

This distraction can be dealt with as something that’s separate from whatever else is going on in my surroundings. The distraction or pain or awkwardness is something that I deal with singularly, but then, as I deal with it singularly and get free of it, I’m able to take and look at the traits outside of me that are in others.

I can’t do that if I remain dwelling on something in a singular way, or if there’s any tone or twang that I still carry, because that then projects across and discolors, as a bias. It doesn’t come across with cleanness or emptiness or wholeness. It comes across as a projection from that state where I’m still struggling.

So when I project some aspect of that, it contaminates the inflection from within, and the outer becomes a reflection of what I project. If I struggle with that, I don’t quite hear that which touches from within. It’s an interesting kind of touching too, because I’m shown that it touches in terms of pulling a common connection together. In other words, it bridges the gap between inner and outer.

I’m shown this though the dream where I have a distraction, but once I overcome the distraction, I totally let go and it doesn’t get in the way at all. Then I’m able, now that I’m free of that bondage, to take a crayon and write various little things. These things may not make sense, but they portray another part of an aliveness in me.

For example, I might write the word “raw” with a crayon. Whatever I write is just “R” and “A,” I don’t have the “W,” but it’s something that depicts how something is, which is a part of me. Yet in the dream I don’t see it as part of me. I see it as something that stands out, let’s say in another person. But because I don’t hold a stigma that I project, I can then say or joke or point out something and that pointing out doesn’t come from my singularity to their singularity – it’s not personal.

Instead, it comes across as if I’m talking to myself, so the other person can’t object to what I say because I don’t have any discoloration or bias. When one does it like that, the other person can hear it completely because it’s as if they’re talking to themselves, even though the words are coming out of me, or the energetic is coming out of me.

That’s what a teacher does in terms of mirroring. In terms of getting to a point where we no longer sit and dwell on our own neuroses, we can automatically become the mirror for ourselves. We’re always relating to ourselves.

That’s why it’s said that the student has to become less than dust at the teacher’s feet, which means we have to let go. We have to let go of all the idiosyncrasies that we hold onto for identity purposes – which are our reactivities to this, that, or the other, or however it is that we continue to struggle and therefore see ourselves in a reflection and as separate.

We have to be free of all of that. When we’re free of all of that then the dialogue and the connection is always with ourselves, in every aspect, because we’re everything. We need to carry ourselves in this conscious way.

It reaches the point where it’s almost like there’s only one person. All characteristics that are repressions or limitations, which are based in seeing ourselves separately, fade away. That makes everything knowable – without reaction and distraction from ego (ego being part of reflection, reacting to reflections, in an outer motif).

In this way that which is needed in the whole can be healed because we recognize it as part of us and we are whole and complete. I mean, you really don’t have the outer, any longer, when you recognize everything as being One.

What I’m describing is an all-accepting genuineness that’s able to penetrate all barriers, and what is real then is just this pure inner sight and light that exists, from which all outer context and reflections are absorbed.

Reflections are projections and, if we have no projections we won’t have any identity issues because it all comes together as One. There are no veils and the heart doesn’t find itself struggling with having to sort something out in a duality. The inner stands as the inner, or, I should say, what’s real stands as what’s real in the face of the reflections because instead there is the connectivity.

The reflections are outside the connectivity. Thus the underlying theme is that there’s only one thing going on, and it’s a flow from inner into outer. Whatever is projected in the outer is a consequence of a flow coming from the inner. We can be in that inner and then what’s happening in the outer all makes sense in terms of a greater schematic, in terms of the wholeness.

But if we’re dealing with outer aspects or manifestations, then we’re dealing from the outer trying to get to the inner, and we’ve got the whole thing backwards. When we try to take what isn’t real and try to find what is real, we’ll never get there. We’ll always be struggling and banging our head against the wall and being distracted.

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