Jeane: In my dream it feels like I’ve had someone imprisoned in a hospital for something they did. I’m pretty sure it’s a woman, but sometimes I seem to think about them as a man, so I’m not positive on that part.
Some time has passed, and now another man and I are going to the hospital; we’re going to smuggle this person out and break them free. This will probably be as much a surprise to the person in the hospital as it would be if the hospital staff discovered that we’re the ones doing it.
So we have to distract the staff and smuggle the person out. I get them in my car and then I have to decide whether to have them hide, or maybe cut their hair short, so if it’s a woman she can now be disguised as a man until we can get past any roadblocks.
I’m trying to go through different scenarios of how best to keep hidden. Then we drive off.
I have the impression that one of the reasons I can break this person free now is that my children have all grown up. So it feels safe to let this person out or to break them out. There’s also some kind of intense dialogue I seem to have with them now.
John: The theme of the dreaming last night has to do with having to hold onto some sort of overall inner balance, in relationship to being confronted with things that are overwhelming, in terms of the use of energy, in the outer.
What you did was start with a general, overall vibration in terms of how you felt things. Then you took and added to that. There’s a certain overallness to an energy from within, which you hold inside. You’re in a physical body and you’re able to direct that energy in particular ways, and when you do direct it in some specific way you can, when coming from the center, have a lot of energy . And you can do it in a free way – providing you hold onto the understanding that it comes from.
The energy you’re working with is an energy that’s at the essence of your being, or is from the inner, so when you’re having this dream, in terms of you taking and now applying this energy in some specific outer way, what you’re doing is weighing the degree to which this foray takes something away from how you feel yourself connected in an overall context.
And you find you’re able to do that because something about you has grown up (the children), or has gotten to the point where you can sustain the energy that you feel within, without losing it. Ordinarily when you take energy and cycle it and funnel it into some outer capacity, it faces a lot of resistance from you, in the form of personal or psychological indulgences. So the degree to which you personally indulge, is the degree to which you do harm to yourself in terms of maintaining this inner space.
You have this dream in which you’re trying to see if you truly are free, if you truly have let go. In other words, can you deal with a huge challenge, from an outer context point-of-view, that you’ve decided to take on, to see if you can effect a change in it or break something free?
And, can you do this without contaminating yourself, or without contaminating the inner space? A part of you is saying yes you can, because something has grown up. However, you’re not sure, so what’s facing you is presented as a dream, with the potential to be caught, or not break free.
So what you’re doing when you have a dream like this is you’re weighing the forces inside you that are personal versus impersonal, or that are totally free or in a nothingness or an emptiness, versus still having some sort of involvement in an outer capacity, reflective way.
In doing this you’re recognizing the degree to which that kind of lack of independence, in terms of letting go, will actually distort or hurt you.
An example of what that’s like is when the American Idol judge Steven Tyler commented to one of the participants that her biggest challenge was in accepting herself. He felt that this comes with time and that eventually she would get to the point where she could just think, “I don’t give a shit.”
Using that language, and many other mannerisms, is Steven Tyler’s way of showing that he’s beyond what other people think; he’s not limited by what other people project on him, or how they try to define him. So he stays true to his core. He said to the participant that she may not have that quality and freedom now, but she’ll get that. Eventually it will come to her.
That’s kind of how this dream is. You have this huge energetic opening up – can you process it in a way that doesn’t compromise it, or inject some limiting personal, self-image problem, in relation to what you’re experiencing inside and what you’re dealing with on the outside?
The dream is a testing ground, presenting a situation to see if you can take and truly bring inner into outer. Because if you just take the bait of whatever life throws at you, feeling that you have to confront it and deal with it in some separate capacity, then you really haven’t found, using the words of Steven Tyler, the spiritual version of that “I-don’t-give-a-shit” mannerism inside you. That place that’s totally free, empty, and in a nothingness.