Looking for the Entrance

Here we explore the nature of what it means to allow what wants to awaken in us, which requires quieting the noise and distractions of the outer world, in us. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: When I went to bed last night I’d brought my iPad in and my plan was to put on the ear buds and listen to some guided visualizations, but I turned out the light earlier than that because I realized I was too tired and I’d just go to sleep.

So it felt like the first part of the evening my dreaming felt like there was some kind of energetic push/pull going on with the iPad, there was some kind of energetic connection from there to me, and I was just kind of reading the energy. That is the best way I can describe the early dreaming.

It was just watching this energy flow that was pulling me to something that was on the table next to the bed, and I’m assuming it was the iPad.

John: You must be building into something new, because that’s a flashback to an old habituation or pattern that causes one to get caught up in the indulgence, instead of an inner flow, which is uncharacteristic of where your normal dream process takes you.

That’s why I’m suspecting that it’s a precursor to another shift or something, because that’s a backward image. This is what happens to most people, most of the time, who are not connecting to an inner flow.

They find themselves driven by their preoccupations, which act as if they have a will of their own, that drive them to have to support, or to sort, something out. And so this malingering kind of preoccupation, and in some instance a type of checklist of doingness, seems to control the perception, and thus keeps them veiled from accessing something deeper.

Jeane: In the other dream I had it’s like I’ve gone maybe with some cousins to visit my mother’s mother at her home, so it’s my grandmother’s home, and apparently my grandmother had been gone for a period of time and she’s returned, so we’ve all gone over to visit her.

And there’s kind of a certain free flow with visiting her. There’s even a dog around, but at one point she leaves the room, and I look at my cousins and I tell them that my grandmother’s going to take off again.

She’s actually out of the room checking into a cruise or a tour, or she’s going to do something, and I realize they’re a little shocked by this, but to me it’s just that for some reason my grandmother doesn’t like to stay at home. She wants to go travel. She doesn’t want to just do it the traditional way where she’s there and you go visit her.

John: This is an image of something opening up, in other words, a greater dimension reaching out, in that everything is there. Meaning you’ve got your cousins and you’re all going to visit this quality of something that’s your grandmother, and it’s not a stale environment. It’s an environment that’s shifting and moving about, and keeping things fresh and alive, which is not how it has seemed with regards to accessing the deeper parts of yourself in the past.

Usually when you access the deeper parts of yourself, you’ve had a kind of stigma in terms of those parts being somehow, in their ancientness, set or preordained in some fashion, as they open up and awaken. And in this image you’re finding that the grandmother part, or the ancient part inside of you, is on the move.

It’s going to be interesting to see how it is that your dreams integrate with mine. I haven’t figured that one out yet. We tend to dream in some sort of to-and-fro, that has a pattern to it, so I guess we’ll just have to see what evolves.

I guess the theme of the dreaming must have something to do with an aspect of our self shifting or waking up, because the first sentence that I wrote is: I’ve experienced subtle awareness that is on the verge of slowly waking up. I can see this in a dream in which a part of myself that is still conscious is yet getting in the way, so that at the very last second it keeps me from reflecting upon a consciousness that is quite tangible. I mean, it’s that close.

In other words, it lies just beneath the surface of an awareness that seems even like it’s in the outer too, or in the environment of the outer. I am shown that what is happening right at this point in time is that when the energetic of what is going on is on the verge of a breakthrough of awareness, it seems like something unfortunate comes over me.

So when I settle back I see myself by doing this, allowing something within to get my attention and in doing so it makes a breakthrough. What happens is I reach an unshakable awareness that is so strong that it seems as if it was always within my grasp consciously.

In other words, prior to that of course it was just out of reach, and now all of a sudden it’s like always been like this. When I am like this, it is easy to assume that I have an unbreakable connection, and always had such a connection, even though others around me find this, and in my perception when I look around me as well, it is illusive to others.

Fortunately, I do not go off the deep end that is also there, because to do so would destroy or destabilize a good thing. I am able to tell I still carry within the shadow dynamic of being of an awareness, that has an imbalance in it, because I can sense the flip out.

I am so thankful that I am able to hearken to the deeper roots within. In other words, I seem to somehow be lucky enough to do that, because this other is not that far away and could easily just happen as well.

And even though there are times when it is easy to lose the fluid and flexible and easygoing way, and to do so would be like getting in the head, in some capacity, and tearing something tenuous and precious asunder.

You might say this is a dream that starts off with a sense of, like yours, of something slowly waking up, only in your particular position you actually are in it, as it’s waking up with the grandmother no longer where she should be in a quiet easy way. I mean, she is on the move and as part of that waking up, you find yourself in this new way of waking up, you find yourself kind of going back to a beginning kind of quality, where you’re taking into your frame of reference a kind of indulgence, an indulgence that has a mundane aspect to it, like a starting over aspect, in this new way.

Because what you described at the beginning is very typical of how most people tend to perceive life, only it’s in a shallower motif.

The purpose of the dream or the theme from last night, is to instill an appreciation that is not going to go away when times are difficult. In other words, it is to make it so that you do not flip out or go backwards, or crack up, or turn your back upon something vitally important. In other words because this helps you gain a better sense of what’s vitally important, and what’s subtler in terms of what is going on.

Because to lose that would be like becoming a disingenuous person, who can’t help themselves. And to flip out would create the appearance of you being a kind of monster, in other words, really bizarre, especially in the face of another kind of knowingness that something is important.

The inner dreams and awareness flicker within, in order to keep me from becoming a beast that I cannot like, because if I become such a beast I lose all sense of common decency. Fortunately I have a living example that has just occurred in the environment in my life, which, in its way, reflects the graciousness as a thankfulness. It was being with Mike these last few days at the trade show seeing how he is able to be thankful and able to take in a wonderful flow around him and never let any of this go to his head.

My tendency is when I take and I have a whole sense of where I really get something black-and-white, so succinctly, that it can lead to a type of arrogance, and Mike doesn’t have any of that. In fact, he even slights himself a bit in his graciousness when he needs to actually, and has a sense of how better to probe out to learn things, but because he has got such a huge entourage around he’s trying to make sure everybody’s content and yet he’s the one that has got to know how to steer the ship and make the big decisions. And they’re looking at component parts and he needs to look at the big picture.

And so in his graciousness you almost wonder is he going to be allowing himself enough time for that to happen and it seems to work out for him.

The deeper awareness of this dreaming is that it is possible to see the importance of something very subtle coming into being when I am able to be in a world where I’ve surrounded myself or opened myself up to being able to set aside my denser preoccupations, so that this side of itself can come across in a more gracious or respectful or nurturing manner.

Then I have an image that tries to create a corresponding symbolism with that deeper awareness statement that I just cited above. In the image I am before a structure that goes straight up high into the air. What it looks like is it’s a little bit like a base and it looks like there are a few steps at the bottom that you can see from a short distance, and then it stops, like it goes straight up again and then maybe there’s a little cut.

But it is gaining height going more and more straight up all the time, so in order to handle something like this that goes up in the air, if you just looked at it it would seem impossible to scale.

At the beginning however there are steps that are barely perceptible from a distance that one can climb. Only after you climb these steps do you notice that there are still other steps that may take you in a way that’s even steeper, that you wouldn’t see from the ground, that you only reach when you get past say an initial level.

And so it goes. It seems to be like this, on and on, as you keep going steadily and steeper up something that is hard to believe can be scaled. If you were to stop you would be hit with the idea of wondering that it won’t take much to slip and fall or something, and then all would be for naught.

With that doubt in mind, a shift in the image occurs and this is what now unfolds. I find myself standing in the only car parking spot in the area in which the surface is covered and designed by sawdust.

In other words, there might be all gravel parking spots but this one is a square in which the sawdust has been laid out in it, and around the corner to my surprise comes a woman who sees me. It seems like a fluke because a moment before she was blocked off from seeing me by an object in the way.

The significance is the sense I get is that it works like this over and over again. In other words, it’s like the scaling of this thing that goes straight up in the air. Just when it seems impossible something is there at your disposal, or awakens synchronistically, or however, so that you are able to keep going on and on and on and on.

Or, in other words, just when I am on the verge of blowing it, or think I am out there floundering, I am able to suddenly find, within myself, the right spot at just the right time in which something is able to be there as needed.

In this last dream, this last dream really puts it to the test to understand what this means. In the dream I am told that a woman bought The Flamingo [hotel]. Isn’t that interesting? A woman bought The Flamingo.

This makes me more interested in figuring out the change that is occurring. To begin with, I do not seem to know where I am at. It is like being in a trance. As I start to come out of this, I notice that I am walking off the sidewalk on a lawn, going towards a building entrance.

It is dark out, so I do not notice the wet spots that I suddenly walk in and get my feet wet. I do notice however that the lawn must have been recently flashed, you know how they tear everything up around here to make it grow better, because it is very thin and mostly dirt.

The meaning of the dream is I am still assimilating that which is different about the environment I am in. I haven’t yet awoken to how it is that I am meant to be. I’m looking for the entrance that will take me inside. I have wandered off the beaten track looking for the entrance.

I know that things have been stirred up, and that this is supposed to make things better in the long run. I am not yet seeing what lies before me, but have a good sense of where I am heading.

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