In spiritual development, the struggle often comes down to the question of whether we allow ourselves to be affected by people and things in the world around us, or let go to being guided from within. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
Jeane: It’s hard to remember my dreams last night, but the last dream I was having it felt as though I must have been working as a counselor again, and there was a girl that had been assaulted and I wasn’t able to counsel her as part of my regular counseling.
But then someone comes and tells me that it’s almost like I’m going to have to do some volunteer work at a certain agency, and I realize that actually it’s through that volunteer work at that agency that I’ll be able to counsel her, or other people involved, whereas I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I were doing it directly through work.
I’m already kind of calculating how many hours I can get at that other agency because it almost feels like there there will be a certain freedom that you don’t have in your regular work. Then it feels like it’s the same theme, the same people, but I’m in more of a castle like it’s back in time and there’s a fight going on.
John: In the first one you have a type of enfoldment or orientation about yourself that evolved over time, in a way that probably reflects the inner linkage from which it unfolded. However, your attention upon the outer mannerism, you can’t get that to feel right to you when you pay attention to it and try to orient and shape and guide your life according to that.
At some point it probably made sense when you were just naturally evolving, but now you can’t just naturally evolve by looking at the circumstances around you. You can’t just naturally evolve in terms of them. You have to orient yourself to something else.
The counseling that you’re doing has to do with finding that inner essence flow that makes what you’re doing meaningful. The image that you painted as a blasé, has a certain dormancy in the past, because it’s, yes, something that you could say is what you’re doing in an outer context, but what is important is what is triculating inside you, in an inner way, so that those reflections of the outer have a meaningfulness.
Jeane: As I said, the same people, the same theme, the girl that needs to be protected is all going on, but the scene has changed to a castle scene and I seem to be fighting my way to where the girl is to see that she’ll be okay. I have a fencing sword, or two, as it happens, and then I get to this one room of the castle and I look down and I see that she’s standing there.
There may be some people coming at her. She’s got this kind of odd almost like cloth circle that is hooked to her and goes around her. It’s kind of beige and folds over on itself and it’s almost like a belt, but it’s floating out in the air about three feet from her or so, and somehow I see her with that and I see that she’s actually in a way going to be able to hold her own.
I throw her a fencing sword and she has this gleam in her eye. I know she knows how to use the sword. It’s almost like I know she will be okay, but she also seems to be like maybe she has to stay within that certain circle. I don’t quite understand what that cloth meant, but I knew that she would be okay because I could see the gleam in her eye when I threw her that sword.
John: What the cloth enables her to do is spiral, to spin. In other words, she can take that cloth and just flick it out and it’s almost like you quicken or spin out of a slower state into a faster state, and then you slice through it with the sword. You slice through whatever it is that’s the stale environment or something that’s situated around you.
Apparently, you’re starting to feel a bit cloistered or confined energetically, and you don’t feel that unless you’re missing something that’s meant to hold, or catch up with, your attention, from within. You’ll feel that, you will have sensations of that, you will create images of that if your orientation goes to the outer scenario, as if that’s how you do it.
It’s as if a part of you can almost think that if you make that sort of thing sensible, but this part of you that really makes you tick, doesn’t know how to relate like that, because it relates to something in a bigger general flow, and thus you have sensation-type images and dreams in which something hasn’t quite come together.
You felt real discombobulated by all that. It’s like getting disjointed. Now, you have been having feelings of dis-jointure for some time and haven’t been able to figure it out, and a lot of it’s been correlated over the fact that something is in a state of overwhelm, and that state of overwhelm has to do with something not being nurtured or rolled inside of yourself to the point where you think you need something.
If you need something, I mean, everything you’re doing in relationship to your dad and me and whatnot, doesn’t quite twine, in that there’s the sense of uneasiness because there’s something that doesn’t stroke the heart now. And it’s not like you can take and devise something to do, nor is it possible for you to quite appreciate or enjoy what you had been able to appreciate and enjoy before.
Something subtle is missing, and so now you are having dreams on that. When you have dreams like that it means that you’re missing something on the soul element, and the soul element has to do with where things quicken. Your dad is, too. That’s the thing, and when he suffers, you suffer. When he grieves, you grieve.
There’s a certain quality that can be in his voice where he can look forward to something and have a bounce or a joy, and one needs to find it. The ballgames for example aren’t working for him. They may have never worked for him, but he may have talked himself into it, and then maybe there are moments and whatnot, but left to one’s own devices, it is almost like something can surge and replug you in, or something. But in his particular case, he’s waiting, he’s strewn out, and he’s waiting for something to click. I don’t know how it ever clicks – if you do not have that inner linkage.
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Something is Needed