Killing the Magic

The masculine perspective, in dreams, often deals with the smaller details of situations, compared to the feminine perspective, which often relates to the overall nature of a situation. Here, John has an image involving changing trains, yet in making this inner shift, he finds himself disconnecting from the flow.

(At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: We are kind of on a theme in which even the dreams that we’ve had before have led us up to kind of like this point of unfoldment, in which there is a captivation to the essence that lies behind what is normally just a projection.

And for most people it still remains just a projection to which they identify within an outer context, but for me there are particularities that may now seek, to access or reach, in order to come to grips with this inner meaningfulness.

And in your dream (see The Big Fish), you’re shown it in a general context, and in the general context you’re seeing how you’re doing in relationship to the expansive wholeness that you are meant to catch up with and embody. And in your dream what you’re seeing isn’t yet complete. It’s formative.

That’s best portrayed by the final image, but even in the images leading to the final image, it’s the final image is the clearest because I have the familiarity to what a fish means, and over and over again it seems to have this universal symbolism of a consciousness, or an awakening.

And so you can take the fish that you see, okay here comes the consciousness symbolism, and how that symbolism looks or comes across in terms of you. And you can see the surprise and the shock of you noting that, and then appreciating that in relationship to finding it behind, or within, the essence, as an essence to what is ordinarily just a reflective image. And yet there it is as something more significant to come to grips with or to just take in. Your dream has that whole outer context.

In my case, I’m trying to deal with the inner. I have to address little things that keep me from quite getting it, or from staying in sync with it, which again is the more masculine nature – the particularities. You have the generalness of the overallness, and I have like a particularity to the same subject.

This dream begins with me seeking to be a person who gets off a train and onto another train, because the train I had been on, which provided a nice casual ride, now something has shifted in which the next train has particular other qualities that I have to take more responsibility for, and I have to access directly.

And I have a whole sense of that, but that doesn’t mean that I have the stability and balance for it to happen. And so what happens is I see myself move up to where the door is, and before it is announced where it’s perfectly safe to get off, or everyone can now leave, it’s kind of like you have in an airplane where you’re not supposed to get out of your seat until something gives you the notice that you can do so, or otherwise you’re being rude or inappropriate to the way something is supposed to unfold.

Well, that’s kind of what’s going on here is that I’ve moved up to the door before it’s timely, and then I even push through the door to try to get an edge in terms of finding a seat on the next train and, in doing so, I don’t realize that I am out of sync with the flow, and a naturalness from within.

On this train there are seats that connect you to kind of an inner unfoldment as you ride. Once one gets off on a tangent like that, even though I have a sense of what it is that I need to recognize, I can’t find them. I can’t identify them.

And yet here I am jumping on this train early. It’s as if somehow there are others that have gotten still ahead of me in some capacity, or if I do see seats, I’m continuously looking for something that’s in a different rail car, or something that’s better, or more succinct. And I end up finding myself in this condition, or state, or mood, or mannerism, that I’m carrying, which has gotten exasperated, and not found a seat at all.

The reason for a dream like this is to show that in one capacity or way inside of myself I am able to recognize how there is kind of an interesting way that something unfolds, and that you can connect with that and be fed by that.

But then at the same time, when you get to indulging in the importance of that, as if you have something to say about that or need to adopt a higher degree of control or peculiarity in relationship to the unfoldment, as if there are things in the outer that can get in the way, and so now you’re taking what had been perfectly fine as an inner essence and now putting a seriousness spin on it in terms of outer reflections.

What this does is this throws you off. It throws you kind of on a tangent. And once you get on this tangent, you don’t shake it. And you project this tangent upon other people. And you could sit there and deep down in some state you can know that this is how you would have liked to have done it, and wanted to feel, but you can’t because you went off on an indulgence instead of just staying in the inner flow.

So as a consequence you’re now communicating that reflective imbalance, and if you really look at it it feels horrible, but also at the same time it’s a type of clutchiness. It’s a type of grabbing. This is what tends to cause this sort of thing to suddenly pop up.

You can know the flow. You know that it’s there but you could be repeating over and over again, that the fact that you’re acting out a reflective mannerism – as if it can affect or do something to the inner flow – instead of being in a state in which there is an emptiness and a letting go feeling that has this auric trust and wholeness from which whatever unfolds is what is meant to be.

As opposed to suddenly getting to the point where you catch up with the fact that there was the flow, like this other train, and then now all of a sudden you have to take on a more engaged relationship to that because you have caught the flow, and now you’re in a reflective outer, and now you’re trying to put two and two together.

And when you function like that, that is when you start to become disoriented. That’s when you’re blinking, as if the outer actually has a consequence over the inner – and it never does. It’s you trying to take and do a deviation as if that’s important; taking something and drawing out of it that which isn’t there, imagining that which isn’t there, glowing too much in outer circumstances and having reactions according to those outer circumstances – inside.

And then eventually getting to a point where whatever those reactions are rub off on you, and so you emote that. You hate the fact that you’re emoting that, but you can’t stop yourself. This actually then keeps you from being in tune with that essence that you can just be flowing with, and feeling, and carrying, and transmitting, and watching it from a withinness, do its creative magic or creative thing. The degree to which you carry some imbued trait of tangentiality is the degree to which you compromise that. And it feels horrible, but you do it.

I wrote up a kind of meaning to it that might help too, because it’s a dream about indulging: to do so is to kill the magic and to get in the way of the natural flow. I’ve been fortunate to have been on a train that got me to this point with a flow that I was able to enjoy. Now I am shifted as a next step to a new train.

I carry an energetic entitlement. I’ve taken on this energetic entitlement that has me imposing myself without the composure and graciousness I know is imperative to my wellbeing. To do so doesn’t work, because while you’ve taken on this awkwardness – it is not about me. Yet you’re somehow making it more like you have a piece of the action or something. I will not find the inner into outer connection if I violate the natural inner trust that acts from, and for, a natural inner knowingness.

What the dream is doing is causing me to see how my raciness keeps the natural linkage and flow from unfolding, and takes me away from the inner into outer recognition I need to be abiding in.

Of course as a scenario you could say that I find myself in a state of subtle desperation, and in doing so I lack the usual graciousness I normally carry in my aura. And once you get off like that you tend to stay off and be on a spin, which is away from the inner path. You then, in terms of reflections, reflect that as a denseness, instead of the inner quality that keeps things joyful around you and happening.

And I was unnaturally sharp with people. You get a unnaturally sharp with people, which isn’t one’s actual nature but depicts and points out that you have allowed this raciness vibe, or something that’s pressing you, to take that on as if that is actually real.

And then that vibe gets imbued into things and causes a loss to occur, which becomes a blockage, or a veil, or an attitude that stands between the inner flow, with the appreciation and naturalness, which is imperative in this phased way of compressing to seeing the inner flow in its importance.

Before I just needed to be on the train, now I’m required to hear this a little more succinctly, trust in its meaningfulness, and take care to not get off on the wrong foot and end up imposing an outer pattern. For me to be who I am meant to be, I must remain attentive to the natural inner unfoldment.

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The Big Fish

Yesterday, we saw Jeane’s efforts to incorporate an emerging higher essence into her being (see Taking in the Essence). In her subsequent dreams, the struggle continues: a cake hasn’t been fully cooked, the road is out ahead, and the fish aren’t fully mature. Each image takes her a step closer to the deeper connection. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: There are three or four just little glimpses of the dream. One is like I’ve gone further into the building and down to another level where there’s a tavern, and it feels like there’s a lot of people sitting at a table, or coming to sit at a table where I’m sitting, that almost looks like a high school reunion, or different classes from my high school.

There are some people I would really enjoy talking to but it just doesn’t feel like they come over. It feels like I just remain an observer.

John: This brings to mind a person who is a natural observer, and sits back in a quietness, and doesn’t even know that that’s quite what he’s doing. He’s just developed this as a type of politeness and he hasn’t caught up with how that observing is actually more meaningful in a deeper way.

And in observing him this way he actually is catching up with the quality of the essence in just the reflection, and therefore it has a meaningfulness for him. But he doesn’t really quite understand that principle yet. It’s his means of getting closer to something at a greater value or meaningfulness, and in doing so, letting go of the apparent or obvious, which goes nowhere because it’s just a reflection.

And that’s like being able to see a bit of the inner essence, instead of the indulgence of things that most people partake of. And so that’s what’s going on in this image. You’re standing back and trying to watch. Watching is a high function compared to indulging, because watching has a quality and characteristic about it whereby you can see something meaningful etched into a process of life that is what makes things click and reflect from an inner point of manifestation. In other words, from an innerness that then has its outer manifestation that is reflective.

Jeane: Then I’ve gone down to the ground level and I’ve gone into a room where maybe people have left and there’s a few tables and I’m sitting there with a friend. I’ve asked the gal who’s waiting on us to bring me a piece of angel food cake.

And she’s someone who is very pretty and a couple years behind me in school. She still looks like she did in high school, and she brings me a piece of angel food cake that isn’t really fully cooked. It’s fallen. You know how those cakes can fall, so it’s only a couple of inches high when it should be seven or eight inches high, and the batter is still kind of damp in the middle.

And so I tell her that won’t do, that it hasn’t really risen, it hasn’t really cooked fully, and she keeps trying to argue with me that we should eat this cake and I keep insisting that no, it’s not done. She doesn’t really understand what an angel food cake should look like.

John: It’s interesting how you use the play angel food cake and then take the angel food cake to show that there’s something gaunt behind it that’s meaningless, that’s flat, and then there is something that can radiate and depict something that feeds you or resonates a Wholeness.

It’s interesting you take an image like that, which you can incorporate plays on words – angel food cake – and then have the deadness of that, which is just of a reflective emptiness offset by something that gives it the vibrancy or an aliveness. Your telling the dream causes me to think a lot of horror movies or something in which you have something that is like dead that moves around and it’s like a ghost or something that does robotic things that are unconscious, and like the risen dead.

Then I suppose you could counter that with something that seems healthy and alive and is reflective, basically of an aliveness, but if you really knew how to look at that you’d be able to see the angel quality or the essence that’s the difference that exists in this equation as opposed to the other being a caricature only, which is seen operating without any consciousness. What you’re doing is you’re taking the angel food cake and somehow or another you’re using it in a symbolic way to reflect between something which has a conscious essence to it, to that which doesn’t.

Jeane: In the next little scene I’m trying to get somewhere, and it’s dark. It’s night and it feels like there’s been storms because the roads are kind of washed away and rutty and you’re not sure how you can get there.

I’m coming from down below at an angle and I have to go down through some woods. I don’t know if I’m on a horse or in a car; it’s not clear to me. And it feels like it’s too dark and too much has been washed away so I can’t go that way.

Then I see I can take this road up to join the main road, which still is kind of washed away but there’s a whole bunch of cars lined up and I look and I see that they let this car that’s up there now, they let it in, so I feel like if I go up there they’ll let me in. It’s still going to be kind of a hard trek on the road because of the conditions.

John: What you’re doing is you’re not taking the energetic in a way in which you’re creating an image that rises out of the vibration. And what you have as a vibration is something that’s like a downer or a doubt or something that takes away the energetic linkage or connection. I mean, this could come up and you saw me talking about something yesterday, or maybe it was the day before, where my energetic got to the point where I seemed to be bombarded because I was in a space where the world now approached me, because of that energetic-lacking quality I was carrying. I now drew things that reflected that same kind of predicament or pattern – and we do that.

And so that’s what you’re doing with this dream, is you’re looking at the distinction between an energetic, which has something lacking in it in which the result is traveling in this one particular way in terms of the reflections, versus an energetic in which you can take a different plateau and route.

And so in its deeper essence it is causing you to recognize a quality of a hiddenness inside of you, that I guess is best described as an auric lilt or something, that just kind of when you’re in that particular space the reflections around you come closer to the essence of that particular space in terms of you being able to see them. When you lose that, then you get hit by reflections that are denser and more awkward that kind of help keep or facilitate you staying removed from an inner unfoldment.

Jeane: In the last scene I’m meeting with some people at a houseboat, and it feels like on a lake or something. It’s finally daylight, and I walk away from them a minute and it feels like one wall of the houseboat is more glass, maybe a glass door and glass next to it.

I walk over and I look down and I see a single fish kind of like a trout, but not a completely mature trout yet. Even though it’s kind of larger, it’s still kind of dark; It doesn’t quite have its color. I’m just seeing that single trout and then I suddenly look off to my right and I see a whole school of trout, but they still all look like they’re not quite ready to be caught. It’s not like they’re tiny. They’re six or seven or eight inches, but they don’t feel like they’re big enough yet to really catch. I just notice that there’s a whole school of them. They don’t have their rainbow color yet.

John: Fish depict a kind of consciousness in which something is able to resonate and shine through. And so this dream fits with the other dreams in which you’re struggling with how it is to catch up with something that is behind the scenes of wherever you find yourself at, that is the true essence or aliveness or angel food quality of what really exists.

And so in the final image you have is you see yourself in an image, in other words you’ve created this image by which it reflects out to see yourself, almost as if you’re looking at how you’re doing in terms of waking up.

And you can see that you’re consciousness first of all, it’s unusual for a fish to be in this area, let alone a whole school of fish waking up, or being there as a reflection of consciousness, but that being said it’s still incomplete because the fish haven’t quite taken on their full connection with the light that they can take on, or the rainbow resonance that they can have that makes them truly magnificent in that they radiate the essence of an inner beingness.

They’re still dark, they’re still in the formative stage, but the dream is depicting that something is afoot that is emerging. To see a scene like that is interesting because it shows that at least you’re not just straightaway identifying with what lies directly in front of you, that you’re realizing that within everything that lies directly in front of you, is something that is formative from the other side, or from the inner consciousness, or as a consciousness or as an innerness coming into fruition.
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Taking in the Essence

In today’s dream, Jeane appears to others, i.e., the view from the outer, as a kidnapper. But in understanding that she is all the characters in her dream, we can interpret her twirling as a process of deepening her connection to an inner essence. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I dreamed a lot last night, and it felt like one long, continuous dream that kept shifting. I mostly remember segments of it. It started out like I was male and I was like some kind of a robber who kind of went into a building and went upstairs and took charge.

The main thing I took charge of was this woman who was twirling. Well, everybody thinks I capture her and I’m taking her hostage or something. What I do is when I go up and I twirl with her, I diminish the arc of her twirling some, and absorb it, so that maybe my arc of twirling becomes larger and hers becomes smaller, and then take her away from there.

Everybody thinks like I’m kidnapping her. What they don’t realize actually is that her arc aura is actually larger than mine, and she’s actually my sister, and maybe she’s actually even the head robber, so I want to make her look less visible. I do that by kind of absorbing this a bit. And then everybody thinks I’ve kidnapped her, or I’m in charge or something, so this hides her.

John: What you’re doing is you’re discovering how to take and look at the inner essence of something, and take it in. In taking in this inner essence – that which is captured as a type of twirling, that has to do with an arc aura or something that exudes out – this is something that takes and permeates out into everything.

In fact, it’s at the epicenter of all that exists. And so when you become trained to be able to take this sort of thing in, this is different than how everything is seen in the outer. Whenever you’re taking something in, absorbing something into your being, if it were an outer reflection of something, or an outer trait or quality, not taking in would actually be affecting that image.

In other words, you would be diminishing that image. So that is how everyone tends to see this because they’re accustomed to relating to the activity having an outer consequence. So if you are taking from the outer activity, you are diminishing that.

Well, the meaning of the dream is to show you that when you relate to things in an outer capacity way, you’re diminishing yourself, and when you relate to something in an inner way you’re enhancing who you are.

However, in the eyes of others who observe what is going on, because they only see this as something that occurs by appropriation in an outer context way, they have to see this and recognize this in terms of how that is as a pattern of outer seeking inner, which you never reach, because they see that as something that diminishes. So, because they can only see it in that way, they see you as diminishing. They see what they think is you in terms of what you’re doing as something that is in keeping with how they see this working in life, and that is that you’re diminishing the energetic

But because you’re drawing from the inner essence of it, and that inner essence is permeated and is located in everything and lies behind the reflections, to take that sort of thing on is only enhancing and bringing out even more so, that inner essence, which is an essence that in its truest nature comes across – to a person who can only see in an outer way – it comes across as something that they can’t see in its hiddenness.

What you’re kind of actually doing is, is you kind of know that you have to find the inner essence of something and take that on. But you’re not quite there yet, and so what you’re taking on is some reflection and some inner essence. The fact that you are taking some reflection on, those who are looking and observing can see that something is being diminished, but what you’re doing is you’re actually enhancing your own growth because this is part of the process where you absorb the reflections as you access the essence.

And as a consequence you get to the point where the essence becomes so hidden and attenuated as a value, that on a subtle level that is what you’re coming in direct contact with.

And this is exactly how dreams work. To begin with, dreams can appear to the person at the very beginning as something that has to do with ordinary events that are happening outside of themselves, and so they try to look at it in a trite context.

And then dreams start to reveal, as you recognize that everything in a dream is you, you come to recognize that the dream is depicting shadow dynamics and such by which you’re consumed. And so you come to see those shadow dynamics and then try to figure out how to let go of those in relationship to your higher self.

When you access your higher self you start to come to grips with a natural knowingness that exists there and you try to flow with that. And then ultimately you get to a point where you live, or resonate, that essence and know that everything around you is reflective from that essence.

And so you are not affected by the reflections, which means in a sense you kind of accept or absorb them, as an aspect of taking in the essence more deeply. Finally the essence gets to a point where, if you were talking in terms of dreams, where it is so subtle that most people who dream aren’t able to have such dreams.

And even if they have advanced themselves to the point where they should be having those kinds of dreams, the subtleness of those dreams makes it very, very difficult for them to access, reach, and pull out. And thus what has happened is that they have gotten to the point where there is the secret of secrets in terms of a hiddenness, that’s in the essence, that they can’t quite access.

And what is holding them back is the degree to which they are still affected by the outer, as if the outer still has some sort of sway in an outer capacity instead of in an inner essence mannerism that takes and is behind all that there is.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Taking in the Essence