Today we have a continuation of the conversation we began on Friday, in Saying Yes to the Process.
Here John leads us through the ideas of the processes of dream work itself, and the unfolding of the spiritual journey as the energetically awakened person begins to see the world around them more from the inner into the outer, and explores the concept of holding both the unconscious and conscious aspects of life as one thing. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: Yesterday I had a very, very complicated and detailed dream, that I couldn’t remember one lick of when I came out of it. As a consequence of that dream I was in revolt to everything. I couldn’t identify with the outer environment around me or with anybody.
Everything was nausea, everything was kind of insecure. I was kind of like cracking up.
So I went to bed. Jeane takes and has two great dreams of which she always remembers her dream. She rolls over and touches me and same thing, poof, completely gone.
I kind of laid there in the cradle not even wanting to get up. When I get up I go back to meditating and meditate until 12:30pm. Basically all morning long – still not able to identify with anybody or anything and still in this very strange state.
When I come out of it I go out and announce, which I had announced to Jeane earlier in the morning, that I’m toxic and therefore I’m not going to eat for the next three days. You know, the feminine always take that as a shocker, you know boom like that. He’s really flipped out.
At 12:30pm I get up, I take a long walk, and I come back at about 4pm, and the TV is on and I’ll be darned panning around is one of my favorite shows, A Bronx Tale.
But it’s on a channel with all kinds of commercials and it’s got a lot of filthy language in it because it is one of those types that has very deep meaning but uses extremes to get there, and they’re dubbing it out because it’s on regular TV – plus with all of those commercials.
So I’m now flipping out again because I’m cracked; I’m fragile. So it gets recorded, the other half of it or so, and I disappear again and meditate for a couple more hours because I can’t relate to anymore TV or anything.
And I come out of that and watch it and it’s really good and everything, but I’m still feeling in this state where I’m a little disconcerted. Now, as far as a certain level of sight, it’s enhanced. But as far as a dexterity in the outer, I feel very helpless and weak.
As far as talking about things that other people talk about that consider important in terms of outer things, I probably am dangerous to talk to in a state like this, because I’m liable to shock them. I might not be polite enough you know to cater to it.
Also what tripped this, the night before last, was we pretty much set up a movie we were going to watch. It’s actually a very excellent movie with a lot of depth to it, Water for Elephants.
Jeane selected it and I thought it was a dumb movie but it turned out to not be, so we had the movie room reserved and she had a friend that was coming down. This was in… oh, I forget what they call it – it’s a special way of filming so it’s really high tech and whatnot – and of course we have a pretty phenomenal movie room here, so at 8 o’clock this person hadn’t showed up yet.
And before they showed up about 8:15pm, I could already feel the vibe, and by 8:30pm I didn’t even want to watch the movie. Well, what this person is, is this person is an incredibly brilliant person, very deeply developed on a spiritual level, but so insecure it’s unbelievable.
I’m so much of a type of raw energy, that if a person was really insecure, I’m going to hit that button right off the bat. I mean, I was aware of this before she showed up. I felt I needed to disappear.
And then when she showed up she greets me with all kinds of openness because she knows Jeane real well and I don’t feed her insecurity button, and she starts to crack. And then she tries to make a comeback, and it doesn’t work you know because, I don’t know, I’m just a hard ass in some sense, and I say I don’t even mean to be that way. It’s just kind of a quality there and all of it was useful because what it did is it threw me into this nausea.
I mean this is a wonderful person and what came up was a discussion in which there was another person in here that has a lot of momentum, accomplishes a lot, but is vicious…
But you know they can’t help themselves if they’re vicious and I couldn’t stand the judgement of it, so I took this person’s defense even though I don’t agree with it. I also don’t agree with any black-and-white rubbing out something. And of course that will hit the insecurity button right away, because this person finds that sort of thing repulsive. If you find certain things repulsive, and you are reactive, you’re not going to be able to carry the kundalini energy.
And she had accessed things and she had developed a sensitivity and a brilliance, but then comes the next installment that could take her miles and miles down the road – would be the kundalini energy – and it will freak her out. It’s too much for her.
Jeane likes her because she finds her so brilliant, but she’s is also very, very careful to know how to handle her in terms of her insecurity.
I joke to Jeane, I say, “That’s an amazing talent that you have.” Just like I can take someone that can walk up and stick a gun in my ribs as I’m walking down the street and just start talking to him as if they are a long lost brother, and then when we hit the corner they go one way across the street and I go the other way as if nothing had happened. And anybody else they would have freaked out and they would have gotten robbed and who knows what all.
But I don’t feed into that and so it doesn’t work. There is a kind of a natural intertwining. I think I have told you this story of this other guy that’s so dangerous that he puts people in hospitals when he flipped out, and I would talk to him and everybody else would give him a wide space because they knew if he flipped out, and you’re around, you are going to be in bad shape.
I like the guy. I never felt any… I mean I could feel the rumble of that quality in his nature that was out of control but it was almost like driving a car. I knew how to drive that, how to steer or something, and appreciate the wondrousness that this guy had inside of him too…
One has to get like that and be like that in order to break the trances of the outer.
Because the outer is nothing but a reflection of energetics, conscious and unconscious. In other words, you’re going to come to a point in your dreaming where you are going to realize that the access that you are having that is reflective has a limitation too.
In other words, the outer is all reflective and your dreams are reflective but they go to a different depth. They incorporate a certain soul element that moves around…
But the soul element is also caught in having to be in creation, in a magnetism of a human body in terms of earth, and it’s a little bit baffling and a little bit confusing, so the images that come through you speak of something on the other side, but put it in a language that has to do with symbolism that is an earth energy.
And you lead through the earth energy to understand the symbolism on the other side, or the meaningfulness on the other side. Well, because your senses work most of the time, 99.9% of the time, outwardly and the mind of course is there interpreting those outward senses, when you have a dream that you remember, what you have actually done is you have stopped the mind and have settled yourself.
You didn’t realize that you stopped your mind, when you were sleeping, but you have stopped all of that moving around in an outer way capacity that just yo-yos back and forth and doesn’t have any sense of cadence. You have paused enough in order for this greater dimension to leak through, just like when I’m unsettled and cracking up, Jeane just touching me, it sets a trepidation off where she loses her dreams, or that quality of the other side trying to communicate through as a kind of language of the macro, to which she really is at a deeper level.
When you dream and then you are reducing this to images that you then cypher through to see what’s going on as a movement of the soul at a deeper level, what you’re doing in the dream process is first and foremost is you’re establishing first of all a stability and a sense and a training and an understanding, and a strength, by which you then can be subjected to access of the greater part of yourself.
When you are really fairly trite and dense, you can’t handle much and so everything is kept really basic. The outer is the outer and it’s no more than that. But then when you start to get more subtly refined and developed inside, to where you can access the greater part of yourself, then you come to recognize that the outer is nothing more than a reflection of the inner.
To begin with you struggle with your dreams in that you have to somehow get to the point where what you see in your dreams you don’t apply in an outer context. To begin with you do. To begin with you think oh, well it means I did this, that, and the other – I’ll change that in terms of what I do tomorrow.
To begin with, it’s a lot like that, all still cycling around your narrow perspective of life. But ultimately it gets to where you can’t do it that way anymore. That’s the nausea that you hit, that’s the third part of your dream. You can’t do it that way anymore.
You cannot be subjected to the limitations of power and control; you are intertwined with it all. You cannot handle you being treated as if everything operates in its own separate way and is distinct. You know better than that.
When you get like that, well, here’s the dilemma you run into, like Jeane starts out and she recognizes both the conscious and the unconscious, and then she learns how to take and put that sort of thing into kind of an order by which she can then express herself. Her dream described right where she was at in terms of using the energy, but it also portrayed the nausea in another way.
And I said to her that her dream was where she had both the conscious and the unconscious simultaneously. How can you be okay with it just being that way – in a state of a type of nothingness?
In other words, it hasn’t been formed into anything whereby you’ve streamlined yourself to utilize it. That can break you into a million pieces. That can cause you to throw away everything that you had identified with in terms of the sense of satisfaction.
There’s a way of interpreting your dream and this would be a completely wrong interpretation and fortunately you haven’t gone there, I don’t think, but there would be a way of interpreting the dream to think that your marriage is going to fall apart or something. And that is completely, completely totally wrong.
And that’s how the kundalini energy can destroy you, because that isn’t what the kundalini energy is about at all. The kundalini energy is there to cause you to take a step within. Everything in the outer, all of that, is meant to be an inner to outer correlation, not prison.
The outer is not a prison, it’s a reflection of the inner. Ultimately the outer reflects the inner.
That’s why when things are in a certain state of flux, here in creation, there is a similar flux in the ethers, or in the higher self, or the higher whatever, as above so below. And we are sitting with an access to it all, by being able to hold into the depths of something as the microcosm. In other words, there’s both the expanse and the contraction and the expanse and the contraction ultimately reveal the same thing.
As an example, the contraction you could take and put something under a microscope and you could see that every cell is identical to every other cell in the human body. Basically they have a blueprint, and that blueprint has a quality about it just like a fingerprint. It has a quality about it that is unique.
The microscope or the technology of minuteness can take and break the atom all the way to the point that it can get to the epicenter of all of the energy in creation where you have the big bang or poof effect just through a type of nuclear kind of way they call it nuclear anyway, a nuclear kind of going and going and going to the point where through the microcosm you get to everything that there is.
It goes that way too. We live in the microcosm. We have access through the microcosm to everything in the macrocosm. It’s amazing that there is no time and there is no space and you can play with it either in terms of expansion or contraction.
And a human being yo-yos back and forth between expansion and contraction which is the same thing as saying one minute they’re happy, and the next minute they’re sad, and one minute their heart is dancing, and the next minute their heart is crushed.
And then they start to maybe even develop some of the traits from Proverbs, or Ecclesiastes or whatever, that in other words don’t get too elated because then you are going to get sad or whatever as if there is an equanimity, which is a kind of Buddhist term now.
You know, trying to find that love of equanimity so you do not throw yourself around. This is just the order of things. Another way of saying expansion and contraction would be conscious and unconscious.
What we consider consciousness is in the outer an idea of how to best fend for yourself, and the most responsible and know how to walk across the street without getting hit and all of that we consider that a type of understanding as a type of consciousness. What we consider unconsciousness is a person that’s sleepwalking and they walk across the street and kabango. That’s unconsciousness.
That unconsciousness is a quality that includes everything in the overall. Consciousness has taken and streamlined and limited something.
Here’s another way of describing it. The world is created out of sound. So everything resonates a pitch or a sound. There is a sound in the universe and you can hear that sound.
Now let’s apply science to it. So science has come along and they’ve taken and they have figured out what’s called frequencies. And they can make a frequency, we will call it a cellular frequency, and the cellular frequency can handle voice technology, it can have the frequency that can transmit television and news radio and such. That’s streamlined, that’s precision, that’s taking something out, of you might say, a type of unconsciousness and made it conscious in the outer.
Then you can take the same frequency and you can go from what’s called analog to digital in which you tighten the frequency and now it handles and transmits and projects better things like data packets.
And then you could say well gee, I have accumulated all of this. I need to be able to contain it in some fashion. So now they’ve developed what is called microwave, which is a type of working with light where you zip this to maybe a home base like a central computer or something. So now you are able through the microwave to spray this around when before when you took something out of the macrocosm as a microcosm, you limited it, because a radiowave can only project so far, but now when you convert it back to light you can start to expand it back out into the macro.
The secret, the key here is to get to the point where you can be both conscious and unconscious simultaneously.
In other words, the dream I had last night is I went home and there’s a baby laying first of all kind of in the middle of the bed or towards the middle of the bed and suddenly it’s laying right on the very corner on the end.
And I start to wonder what would happen to this baby if it rolls off the bed. Sure enough, the baby rolls off the bed and eyes open up, the mother goes over and picks it up, the mother being my mom, picks it up, and the baby can talk.
Pretty sharp baby! The baby’s joking around about something that dad had said that indicate that the baby is going to be put on welfare, and the baby is laughing about it as if this is a joke because the baby knows. The baby can reason and knows stupidity when it hears stupidity.
Then finally I’m looking at the baby, the baby says, “Who are you?” I say, “I am your older brother.”
Then the baby comments about that, makes some comment, and I say, “Yeah, there is another brother, but I’m the oldest.” And then I try to remember another brother I had, but I can’t remember him. So it’s like he’s my other brother, but I feel like I am 40 in the dream yet my younger brother’s 20.
And the whole thing is this baby is in a state of unconsciousness, so to speak, connected to the soul of things, and I’m in a state of sophistication connected to creation and supposedly having lived life and have a certain conscious recollection about things, yet to this baby everything is unconscious.
Wow, I am a baby. That baby is me, we’re intertwined.
Ann: Boy, that’s pretty powerful.
John: So both the conscious and the unconscious have to be carried together. It’s the only way that inner can properly come into outer, it’s the only way that the inner and the outer can be correlated.
Otherwise, to the degree to which you have a depth of awareness inside of yourself, you’re going to keep building bigger castles, and you’re going to have no problem with the kundalini energy, except the kundalini energy is not designed the way the teacher’s teacher put it. The kundalini energy is one third on this side and two thirds on the other side.
It’s designed to open you up to the greater part of yourself. And when you open up to the greater part of yourself, then you come to find out that this path is about service. The reason why it’s put in those words is because you have a responsibility to the Whole.
And as you take on that responsibility of the Whole, you function differently.
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