A Very Deep Dream

Spiritual journey’s are often triggered by a sense of longing that can never be quenched by anything we can obtain in the outer, material world. Here, Jeane’s dreams involve a feeling of sadness, where a person on the journey can sense the nearness of a deeper connection, yet can’t quite hold onto it. That causes a sadness over the loss of what has been briefly glimpsed, yet has slipped away again. It points to the idea that we can evolve forward only when we are ready, and each step of the way our fitness is tested. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: The initial part of the night I seem to be having this dream where I was kind of repeating an action. And the action was that there was a Scandinavian play, or part of a play. It had a particular name to it that I never did pull out awake.

I must have wanted to absorb it because what I’d do is I would back up to the edge of the bed, or wherever the play was going on, and I would put my back up against it until I’d absorbed that part of the play. So wherever it was going on, that’s the side I would back up to, until I kind of absorbed it.

And I would do that again and again and again. And that particular part of the play seemed to have a name, and it was Scandinavian, and it was masculine, and that’s about all I could say about that part of the dreaming because it just kept repeating that way.

John: The theme of the dreaming last night had to do with some sort of waiting or apprehension that exists. And it’s hard to just stop and wait and try to let something kind of unfold, noting that something is missing.

And it’s missing in that it doesn’t mean that it’s gone for good, it’s just that it hasn’t quite come into the equation, or back into the equation. That’s how I would dream it, in a literal sense. The way you dream it is, in terms of how something is a little out of the ordinary. You attempt to touch and absorb, touch and absorb, touch and absorb and that’s how you denote the apprehension.

In other words, in the overall you’re feeling apprehension, and because of how your higher self sees yourself, you realize that the way you deal with that is you have to take it in. You have to absorb it. You have to somehow or another process that through yourself.

And it’s not flowing very well because you’re kind of having to contend with this new sense of awareness about you, in this particular way that is. And so all you can do is try to touch it and absorb it, back up and touch it again and absorb it.

In other words, work at it bit by bit. It’s like an aspect of something that’s unfolding and in order for everything to be okay you just have to go through this process of taking it in and absolving it, so that your equanimity, your balance, how it is that you’re able to contend or carry or be in the Whole, is balanced.

Jeane: In this next dream, I’m living in a house with three levels. On the top level, in this little room that was very white and clean, and had nice windows in it, and two beds, was where I was with my ex.

And I’ve separated from him, and I’m living kind of on the middle level. And on the ground and middle levels, there are other people that live there and a whole bunch of activity that goes on, even a little café or something.

John: So, you’re living on the third level or the…?

Jeane: No, I’m living on the middle level.

John: And on the middle level there’s all this other going on too.

Jeane: Yes.

John: As well as on the first level.

Jeane: Yes. I’ve been down there a certain amount of time. I think I’ve been doing more of that absorbing. I seem to remember some of that going on there, too, where I was trying to absorb that again.

And then at some point I go back up to the room that we had shared, and a woman friend of mine and then a masculine figure I don’t see clearly, go up with me and they’re all going to guide me through a breathing session, which will help me clear. Well, I lie down and start breathing; I’m trying to get into it.

My ex leaves the room because I guess he’s diabetic or something and he has to go get an injection, and then the other two people start smoking. Well, I’m trying to do something where I am really clearing myself with breathing right and they’re smoking, so obviously this isn’t working too well.

I have to make sure the window in the room is open. I don’t know if they stand back or he comes back, but I realize it’s really time for me to tell him that I’m leaving. He felt like he was giving me space to get myself together, but I realize that I need to leave.

So I look around, and I see my grandmother’s quilt so I fold that up because I want to take that with me. I just realize that even though I haven’t finished clearing myself with the breathing pattern, I need to tell him I’m leaving. I start to tell him that, and he’s indignant because he figured I was just taking space to get my head together, and maybe we should talk about this or that.

I said if you want to talk about something we can talk about you drinking. It was like, I don’t want to go there. I just want to get focused on my packing, but all I can really see that I’m clear I want to take is my grandmother’s quilt. I may have some clothes and stuff, but anyway that’s when I wake up.

John: This is a dream where sadness can come. It can invoke a sadness because what happens is you take and you go to a type or aspect of something that is opening up and waking up in a higher self part of your nature. It’s like a third level. In other words, you step out into that to see how that is. And in doing so, you can’t stay there.

For some reason or another you also have to deal with things that are pent up or part of your nature of your past, so you have to come back down like in the middle part of yourself where the collective and all this stuff is going on. And of course there’s an even lower self of that, that has somewhat of an influence on the middle area, which is not really that big of a concern upon the third level.

And there you have to try to absolve yourself of what all of that is in terms of its effect upon you. And as you work to absolve yourself, you develop a clarity, and as you develop that clarity, then you’re able to shift back up to the third floor. As you shift back up to the third floor you have an awareness about things that is different. Before you might have accepted… you were accepting kind of a period of time like a trial basis or something. You know, it was still new and original and fresh and innocent to you, but now you have a higher pristine sense of it all.

In other words, you know more how something needs to be up there, whether it’s right or not right. In other words, where you may have ignored things before, now you can’t. You notice the little imbalances up there that occur on that level, that you weren’t aware of, now you are aware of them. You can see the smoke and you can see this and you can see that.

Now what you’re trying to do is you’re realizing that you can’t stay in that condition. Something has to shift because it is not right for you, because you’re also part of creation, you’re also part of the middle area. So, you actually take a step back. You make a decision to leave that, and you try to hold a memory, though, of what you consider important in terms of a certain depth by having to take something that has been shaped or quilted together, that has been knit together. You try to take that with you back down into the confrontation of things.

You are holding something that is unconscious, it is making you sad in some fashion, and that something is a subtle agitation and you’re not able to quite shift that, you’re not able to quite absorb that, and it works as a type of very subtle pressure. However, what you’re doing, what you end up doing in the dream, is you have this image where you end up succumbing to that tension as opposed to working it through.

The way this becomes a dilemma is, as you progress, and as you grow, what may have been wonderful on one level, you start to develop a sight to where something is missing in other ways, in other regards, in terms of your responsibility in a conscious way. And it is about a type of responsibility.

You have one thing you have to contend with in the third level, and you have another way of taking and being able to deal with things more with a separate aspect inside of yourself that has its own light and mannerism. You have another way of dealing with it on the second level. On the third level when you come to see what all is involved there, it can be a bit overwhelming.

But to begin with it is kind of intriguing, and so you can indulge and go into that, but ultimately it becomes very daunting and you can always find something in terms of the tension and the mannerism of that on the third level that can cause you to basically say enough is enough.

In that evaluation, you come to see things that you normally hadn’t paid any attention to before, the smoking, the this, the that, the drinking, which is basically just saying that there is something that is energetically off. And so you have to take what you’ve reached, and step back with it.

What’s really interesting about this is, this is actually kind of a dream that I have seen myself do. I have seen myself take and look over into a space, first of all giving it a good go, and then concluding that this is somehow too much for me, or I’m not ready, or not qualified, or whatever.

And then I step back, and then I go into a type of what I used to call a controlled waiting, knowing that I had stopped and would have to wait. And I had essentially reached some sort of crossroads where I couldn’t figure something out, couldn’t absorb it, so I realized that I just then had to go back and take the beating in the outer, knowing that at some particular point in time something would be ready to take that in again.

And that I believe is what we go through, at points in time in our life, and everyone goes through that over and over and over again as they progress. As something opens up there’s always the question as to whether you’re ready for that, or you want to contend with that, or not. You’re seeing that mannerism or that aspect inside of yourself, based upon denoting the pattern or the mechanism of change that has occurred. So this is set off, this whole thing inside of yourself.

And what you’re actually also looking at is a type of social paradigm that exists, in that, especially in our parents, there was always an expectation and a way of being that, once it got established they just accommodated and accommodated and accommodated. And we are of a generation where we realize that we make changes to things, that we adjust, that we shift, and to some degree that can be a little daunting and baffling to something that’s more used to an established set order.

As a consequence, we do this energetically – all of the time. More so than maybe we realize, because the more unconscious you are, the more irresponsible you’re able to be. And if you’re really, really unconscious you could just malaise along on the second level or even the first level, which has some parallels to the second level because it’s reflective, and it’s in the outer, although the second level is deemed one that has more understanding and the first level is something that’s really just pure lower self.

And you’re not pure lower self. You have the overflow of the lower self into something in which you have an understanding, and if you have taken something with you to be able to better cope there, because the third level, the way that it’s opened up, you’re not quite ready to embrace and that third level opens up things as an awareness in which it too is unsettling. Things in consciousness are unsettling.

Your first dream started you off trying to absorb all of that, and then after a while you got familiar with the back and forth and the back and forth and the back and forth trying to absorb it, kind of being caught in a reverb.

And so when you’re like that, you have two choices to make. One is that somehow or another it goes away because it is absorbed, or falls away based upon the higher self, or you don’t have to contend with it anymore because you go into a space, and you justify and rationalize going into that space, and it’s a space where it’s numbed down, or dumbed down, and it’s no longer something that afflicts you.

The problem with this kind of transition inside of yourself is, it’s an interesting one to make and we all make it from time to time, and that doesn’t work either, because what’s happened is you did tweak something, and even though it wasn’t right, and didn’t quite make sense, and wasn’t something you were quite ready to take on – you can’t forget it.

And so if you then take a step back from that, there is the memory of the other that just doesn’t totally blank out. Somewhat it does, maybe for a period of time, but not totally. And so you’re spurred on in some strange fashion as a result of an uneasiness, and so the real sadness that exists, is actually the recognition of that, not fully embraced or taken on.

So the deeper aspect of your dreaming is that first of all the reverbing we’re trying to absorb, and then in the recognition of these different levels, you actually have an even deeper, higher self recognition of something that you’re overwhelmed by. It’s not something that is clear to you. The imbalances are kind of getting clearer to you, but that higher part isn’t quite there, and there’s a sadness that it’s not quite there.

What this dream is essentially – gosh this is a subtle dream – because it is essentially holding you culpable. In other words, it looks like you’re making a decision in the present, in relationship to an energetic, but basically it is an aspect of a reverb of a repeat in which you said or turned back before.

So as you get closer and closer and closer to a higher-self breakthrough, you’re going to have this level of sadness, only because within your psyche is a recollection of having taken a step back before and tried to go amnesic in relationship to it, and carry something back with you to make your step back easier, something that you had shaped and quilted before, and tried to be able to live and play with that.

And you can get by like that for a while, but to the degree to which there is something really latent that’s been touched or awoken or seen as being there on the horizon, you don’t quite completely, fully lose that, and so in your unconscious you continue to hold a type of sadness in regard to the potentiality. That’s a very deep dream.

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