A Means to Grow

growthThe feeling of being pinned down, described here in Jeane’s dream, sheds an interesting light on how we hold ourselves back, or resist, aspects of our spiritual awakening. In this instance, breaking free would seem the obvious next step. But there is a subtlety in this, where the things that pin us down can also be the exact thing, within us, that we need to struggle against – as we proceed on our journey. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I had a dream in which it felt like there was a force that was like capturing or holding people captive; it particularly would pin down maybe my left arm slightly. And you could try to get free, but if you tried to get completely free you actually made it worse for everybody. It was like you could only get so free and you had to keep part of yourself pinned down, or it made it worse for everybody.

It was kind of an ugly force. I remember it just felt like it was frustrating: how did you struggle against this?

John: That’s a cute dilemma. I did not put it that way, but it’s a cute dilemma.

A part of you that is pinned down and if you break free from that part of you, then something else struggles more, right? The part of you that’s pinned down, is the part of you that’s required to recognize what is going on, from within, and therefore it is cornered or pinned down to terms of what it can do in the outer. And if it throws away this being pinned down, and continues as if it has a role, or an identity that it can’t let go of in the outer, then something is held back.

So it has to accept that it’s being directed, to put its attention upon a change of direction, in terms of what things are about, in terms of an inner conscious unfoldment, as opposed to the tendency to believe that one has responsibilities in terms of placing their attention in the outer as if the outer is everything.

To the degree to which you feel that you’re not able to let go of the outer, is the degree to which you create the sensation of being limited or pinned down. So, the subtle distinction that has to be made is, you are in the outer, that deep down you are pinned down by having to acknowledge something that is awakening from within, unable to continue to do the things in the outer that other people identify with.

So you have to carry this quality of an echo somewhere else and, if you can do that, then things are made better. Your mind, however, tells you that this is not what it’s about.

Well, it was a heck of a Rubik’s Cube, because it was easy to misconstrue what was going on inside, because it would have been easier to say, in a negative way of looking at your dream, that some part of you was missing out on what was needed. But if this were true, then how is it that in this missing out, in terms of what is needed – meaning you’re pinned down – how is it that there is something about this pinning down that is important to the end result?

You could easily be very confused by this dream, by feeling that, okay, you shouldn’t be pinned down, but how do you reconcile that with the fact that being pinned down is somehow or another important to the end result?

The dream can even be referenced to something that points to the bigger schematic of outer life; that in outer life, a part of us is lost and confused and caught up in the outer or, as you would say, pinned down.

And then the recognition of the illusion of that, in other words the recognition that there’s a consciousness that can proceed and find its way out of this self-deception, through the pressure of feeling that you’re caught in it, is the means by which you sort through and figure something out, or go to where you need to go.

You do not go there by following some sort of Yellow Brick Road where everything is all laid out in some Simple Simon fashion. You follow the Yellow Brick Road in which everything seems to be against you, based upon how the outer is set up. And that the outer is always grabbing at your attention, and causing you to feel pinned down with its directives or purported requirements.

And that as you consciously grasp and go through that, is when you come to recognize and realize that there’s a letting go that is realized at some point, and in this realization you suddenly find the simplicity.

So, you feel the pinning down, but you do not identify with it to such a degree that you stay delusional. You feel the pinning down and realize that it’s kind of a means to grow. It may feel uncomfortable. It may seem like it’s a strange joke. However, it gets you through in terms of what it is that you need in order to awaken.

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Keeping It Together

alchemical_cosmosFollowing on from yesterday’s post (see Being True to One’s Self), the imagery continues to plunge Jeane into a kind of chaos or mayhem. The purpose of such images is to demonstrate the need to hold the inner connection no matter what happens. Easier said than done, of course, but the struggle to maintain our connections to our higher self is a fundamental process on the spiritual path. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: The next scene it feels like I’ve ridden with Dad downtown, but he gets going pretty fast and there’s a lot of snow, and he kind of goes up on the side of a hill of snow that’s been piled there.

So I pop up out of the car and I end up on the top of the snow, maybe slide down, and Dad’s gone on. He hasn’t quite noticed that I popped out of the car, so he’s gone on down around the corner.

I go looking for him, but I’m not sure where he’s gone. You know, I go around the service station and then it feels like I go to the event that we’re all going to, which is maybe at a church where they’re serving food and again there are a lot of people.

When I get there I tuck my purse around this little corner into a little cupboard, so then I can go on about, noticing the food they’re gathering and all the people that are around. And then I seem to go across the street and my sister and my niece and some other people are at a restaurant, and I look at what they’re being served.

Meanwhile, it feels like Dad has taken off. He’s forgotten he’s supposed to give me a ride back home. I’ve gone over to this building that’s actually like a treatment center building. I’ve gone to look in there, and I remember I’m standing between two elevators. And the elevator doors open and there are two people on one side, and there are some doctors talking right by me that had come out of a room. They’ve opened up a door and I can see the people in there must be getting detoxed or something because I can smell a whiff of marijuana or something and there are some people on the floor.

That must be where people come in when they need to get detoxed. The doctors have left and I’m not sure which elevator to take, the one on the right, or the one on the left? Well, then one on the left arrives first and I get in. There’s just one person in there, and I push the button.

The elevator does this very weird trip up. You feel like it actually is going, I don’t know, not in a straight line but it does kind of a swirl going up. It goes way up to like the ninth floor or something.

Then the door opens and the gal gets out that I realized must have been a patient. She was even lying on the floor when she talked with me. And so goes in somewhere and I look around. Maybe I even talk to some people on that floor.

For some reason I feel like I have my purse, or my phone, or something with me, and she took it, so I look and there may even be an exit on the ninth floor, but I realize I need to go back down to the ground floor.

Even though I’m dubious about it, I think I take the same elevator down. I’m looking around to see if I can do something about locating my purse, because even though she took something, I remember that I’d actually put the purse behind a cupboard, so I went and I found that.

And then it felt like I’ve lost my phone, but then I find my phone in my pocket and I go to see where my sister was at the restaurant and I realize they’d eaten these kind of interesting salads and I have phoned my niece or my dad to come and pick me up again from the house, but I decided before I go there I’m going to take one of these salads up with me and I’m having someone prepare that salad, I think, before I leave.

John: The dream has all kinds of things that have to be sorted out, to try to bring them into some sort of focus. So, the whole thing has to do, again, with discrimination, and how you place your energy and your attention in terms of your overall center of gravity to things.

And maybe the best way of describing it is that you have to have your attention in such a way so that it doesn’t get bifurcated by this, that, and the other around you. And the purpose of a dream like this is to get you to recognize that you actually have to hold on and feel the vibration – and not lose that vibration – as you go about and you do things. Otherwise you end up identifying with the activities that you’re doing.
And when you end up identifying with the activities that you do, then you don’t do other things that you would ordinarily be able to do, and would kind of do, as mannerisms and actions and conduct that you still feel you have a responsibility towards.

So what you’re doing is you’re talking about multiple levels of veiling yourself. In other words, it starts off where you have a responsibility towards your dad in some sense. The fact that you are putting your focus towards a responsibility towards your dad, is also a deviation or bifurcation of the energy from a greater vibration of an overallness that you can feel.

But you choose to do that. You choose to take on that responsibility even though it is a bifurcation from the one singular note or whatever that you could be experiencing.

You then go into further deviations of yourself when you have all of this other activity and mayhem going on, which then occupies and takes up your attention. So that now, even your responsibility towards your dad is turned into another kind of mayhem, because all of this other veils you again, and gets in the road in terms of grabbing your attention, so that whatever was important about how you are aiming your overall focus of beingness, has gotten disarrayed yet again.

What you are dealing with, what the purpose of the dream is doing, is healing you on an energetic level, in terms of the fact that you are seeing, as you’re dreaming, you having this overall quality of your nature that is getting diffused by not being able to hold onto something that keeps it stabilized in terms of what is important.

You’re in a human body, so you’re going to be aiming your attention in an overall sense, in some fashion or another. But you just need to take note on how that comes with a price. And in your particular case, you started with something that for all intents and purposes, in terms of evaluating things, you would say, okay, this is important to me in terms of how I have my overall attention.

But you weren’t able to sustain or maintain that very well because you allowed yourself to be noodled out even further by other little things that were going on, until eventually you’re so diffused that the importance and meaningfulness of how you’re using your overall vibration has gotten dissipated and, as a consequence, your ability to correlate and relate to yourself is getting lost – with each phase.

In other words, because you feel a linkage and a connection to your father, the use of energy in that particular way still can have a way of enhancing or feeding and is not that far astray so that you can’t do both. In other words, it is like the expression, “Head in the clouds and feet on the ground.” But feet on the ground in what regard?

You still have to have the head in the heavens so to speak, or the linkage and connection to something that you know is important that, as you function in life so that you don’t end up all dissipated.

The dream also is a precursor to developing a skill set for magic and changing things. And as the teacher would say, most people can’t really do much damage because their energetic is not refined to the point where it focuses upon being able to shift or to change things. And you had your focus deviated off to one side more than you realized.

And you can monitor all of this. In other words, you feel this, but you’re doing it in an overall way. I look at it specifically, but you have to look at it overall. How is it that you are able to carry the overall and at the same time maintain that connection?

It is a little bit how seed thoughts work. You can have a singular thought that seems harmless in and of itself, that can rise up from the ethers inside you and be fairly attenuated and close to you holding a center with yourself. But then as you start to entertain the thought, the danger, in terms of discrimination, is then that thought leads to this, this, and that and that and that, and pretty soon you’ve lost track of the original place that you started from.

A person that is really diffuse can’t even carry and hold and maintain a conversation. They just drift every which way, they flip flop every which way, because they’re not being true to some listening center inside of them.

What you’re doing is you’ve created this whole slide, energetic slide down, and actually this is a step back. What you’re doing is a step back in order to see how something goes forward. What you’re doing is actually going backwards inside yourself. You actually know better than this, but you’re revisiting it as if it is an old dormant pattern in your nature.

You’re revisiting it so that you can then see, “Well this is why I no longer do it this way. I do know where I want to place my attention.” But it’s useful to see how you look when you get completely diffuse, so that you can realize and recognize that when you do place your attention, however you do that in an overall area of responsibility, that you are making a sacrifice. It does run you full-fledged into sacrificing.

In other words, there is a way of holding yourself in an overallness that does nothing, but we don’t live in a world that does nothing. We live in a world in the outer and you then have to somehow do both. You have to maintain both places.

If you don’t maintain both places, then the value and the orientation that has the discriminating feature inside of you, which is that vibration, gets diffused to the point where all kinds of mayhem occurs around you.

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Being True to One’s Self

pulled-in-all-directions-megan-bell-honigmanOur dream today echoes much of the reality of daily life, i.e., in it Jeane feels pulled in all directions at a chaotic family gathering. Is this just a reflection of the pressures of holiday time? Not really. The symbolism behind the images points out that, as we develop on our spiritual journey, we have to take on more and more of the natural Wholeness of things. Until we are able to embrace this Wholeness, within, we will feel the tug of aspects of our identity that aren’t quite ready to let go.

(At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: One dream I’m at my dad’s house, and there are a lot of people there. The people in the house, it’s almost like they’re trying to get a meal together. My niece is there, a lot of different people.

I seem to be sleeping out in the yard, near the hillside, and maybe one of my nephews is sleeping out there too, or great nephews, it’s someone younger, in the same area but not in the same bed.

I remember at one point I leave the house. I’m trying to get the food together and I’ve gone out and I’ve gotten some food, but I’m a little worried that I’ve got cookies but they don’t have nuts in them or something. But I’ve taken that food in and then I’ve gone out to check on my bed.

Well, for some reason a bunch of twigs have fallen on my bed, and there’s a little hole in the hillside next to my bed where it’s almost like a little, I don’t know, something about the size of a doghouse, except it’s just dug out of the hillside.

I look at that because I want to make sure there are no snakes in there. Then I push some of the twigs off my bed – that looks a little suspicious, too. There are all these twigs and leaves on my bed, but I don’t seem to knock them off the bed, I just move them around a little to make sure they’re okay, because there are covers under that, so I don’t seem to be bothered by that.

Then I go back in the house because I’m still checking on whether people have food. I mean, it’s just really crowded with people. Then I’m going to go downtown and that’s kind of like a shift in the dream.

John: So the purpose of the dream, the energetic purpose of the dream, is that as you’re watching yourself dream this, you notice that your attention is going this direction and that direction, as you’re having to cook something, or you’re having to do this, and you’re having to relate to a lot of people.

In other words, some part of this dream, with all of the activity of you having to move around in it and deal with all the people that are there, and all of that, some aspect of that rubbed an energetic off on you that left you overwhelmed. An image of your bed was a way of coming back and trying to go back into a consecration of the energy so that it isn’t all over the place.

The purpose of dreaming something like this was to get you to recognize and identify that, as you take on a greater beingness as part of a Whole of yourself in life, you have the challenge of figuring out how to do that without losing boundary control, if you know you’re taking and dealing with a big party and all these people and whatnot.

At some particular point, if you felt the vibration of that, it kind of estranged you from how you would like to feel yourself, and it can create even a type of frustration; you know that you’re not necessarily being true to how you need to be. In that frustration you can go and, in terms of trying to redirect it, it’s like the twigs, and a cave or something on your bed?

You’re trying to find some sort of order. Twigs actually can represent how something is every which way, but the fact that it is on your bed and whatnot, it’s like you’re pulling it back together so that it doesn’t leave you, like in the main part of the dream, having all of these people milling around and you’re having to do this, that, or the other in terms of a responsibility and obligation amongst all these people. If you look at yourself, it rubs off on you.

In other words, something gets taken away from how it is that you’re able to be. You lose a concreteness inside you. And the other image is trying to go back, noticing that things or twigs or everything is destroying and whatnot, and trying to pull it back together into a focus.

Only the difference in a dream like that for you, versus a dream like that for me, is you have to accommodate it in relationship to a greater Whole that you’re able to connect and tie into.

In other words, all of it has to be absorbed as an overall cadence that’s in your world. When you can do that, is when you can actually then start to have a meaningful effect in terms of touching things, because that’s when you will have developed a greater Wholeness to it all.

The dream isn’t going there necessarily showing you that you do that sort of thing. The dream at this particular point is getting you to realize and identify how it is that you’re being affected by your environment, and that you need to exercise a kind of discipline and take yourself out of that in order to be true to yourself.


To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Being True to One’s Self