The Suspense Is Building

vortexIn these dreams, Jeane continues her dance with the masculine energies, coming close and backing off in one scenario, and missing appointments in another. If a third dream from the night had been remembered, it might have even taken her a step closer. This is a good example of how each dream in the course of a night can further the inner conversation we have with ourselves. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: It felt like I dreamed a lot last night, kind of repetitious dreams. In the earlier dream it felt like there was this man that is always kind of intriguing, and available and unavailable at the same time, and I seem to be having kind of an approach-and-avoid relationship with him. And all very public.

It’s almost like all of us involved are aware of what everybody else is doing in a way. It’s almost like I approach him and then I back off before it can go any further.

Then there is some kind of scene where it’s almost like he approaches a group of us women. We’re all lying on these cots or bed or something, next to a railing in a very open room. And it feels like he comes and he’s with us, but then it’s almost like we go unconscious and we wake up in another space where he is. But we’re more separate now rather than all of us women being together with him.

That’s about all I remember of that dream.

John: You are describing the effect of how… In this case the guy is affecting a group of women, right? And so the guy is like a teacher, and what he is doing is causing something to shift in terms of the space that it is in, right?

And because you see something shift in terms of the space… well, it is not what you expect, right? It’s not in keeping with the flow that you’re accustomed to is it?

It leaves you feeling confused because it is not something that you’re accustomed to. You’re being shifted in a way that isn’t in keeping with how you are used to, or accustomed, to see things unfold. The setting is more like, there’s a group of women and you have a certain cohesion together.

You’re laying down together, and maybe you each come in slightly different ways, but by and large there’s a similitude with you. I mean, you’re all lying down. You’re all going along with what is unfolding in a particular way.

Then he comes along, and what he does disrupts that and creates a certain kind of confusion.

In your dream this is throwing you off. It’s throwing everybody off. But of course you’re only relating in terms of you, but it is a bit much for everybody.

So your dream only goes up to the particular point where you’re thrown off. It doesn’t say anything more than that in terms of what that causes to come out, or come up, when you’re thrown off. So it’s one step in the process. I wonder if your other dreams go further?

Jeane: Well, in this dream it feels like I’m at a house in a neighborhood. I almost feel new in the neighborhood. I’m approached along with some other women by a man who wants us to participate in something where we will have to fill out forms on people.

So he’ll bring the forms by, and we have certain meetings, and maybe we go to some place around the neighborhood, and we get the information to fill out the forms by meeting with people.

There’s a man who’s supposed to participate in this, but he’s not able to make that first meeting, so we try to schedule an appointment with him. But then we forget it. Then it feels like we suddenly try to do something in the house because I’m kind of new there.

Suddenly I get pulled out to go to a meeting. Of course, it doesn’t feel that interesting. It’s almost like the census or something. Do you know what I mean? It’s forms that have to be filled out, but they don’t necessarily make that much sense to you, or you thought it would be interesting in the beginning, but it’s not very interesting, really. It just kind of takes up time and meetings.

And then I’ve gone from the house into work, and I know my friend who’s a physician is there, and there are other people at work. And at work it feels like I keep trying to get things done, and I get interrupted, or have meetings that I’ve missed. And then somebody is telling me that I missed this meeting with this guy to fill out the forms again.

I swear no one even told me about this meeting. It’s like seven something in the morning, and it’s before I would normally work. I never remember scheduling it, and yet I keep getting told I missed it. And they don’t want me to miss it one more time, but then I don’t even know I have it.

I almost feel like you could lose your job over this, but no one even tells me about it, and it’s just confusing because it feels like there are all these things to do, and all these places I’m going to, from one place to another at work, and I just don’t have it down as far as getting there at the right time to get things done.

John: Where your last dream left off you’re now trying to sneak up on this, and first of all it’s like your routine in life involves having to attend a meeting, or there is a meeting that’s set up – it’s kind of casually done – that involves a guy that’s important for bringing something through.

And you to begin with just blow it off. You completely disregard it. It doesn’t even register. In other words, you knew that something like this was to happen and it doesn’t register. And then it’s as if this was more important than you at that time realized, because it comes up again.

It actually never really went away. It’s just that it percolates and rises to the surface in some aspect of the way you feel yourself. And this pattern that bugs and needles you, is catalytically trying to cause something, that you carry, and the way that you live, to awaken in a new way.

You know that something in the setting has to change. You’re recognizing the fact that this meeting has to happen now, and you’re affected by the way your sense of all of this won’t go away now.

And so you’re still creeping up on something that before you took it up to a particular point, then didn’t realize that there was even more. The dream just stopped there. And then in this dream, you blow it off to begin with, but you are not allowed to blow it off. And so now the scenario is pressed upon you more; that you know that you have to ultimately pay attention.

At this point, in this aspect of the dreaming, you haven’t yet gotten to the point where you’re paying attention to it. It’s pent up. The suspense is building. It’s kind of like a condition that one carries when they know they need to do something, and they’re just not doing it.

It’s almost like it has its own crescendo that builds up and builds up until you do it. It bugs you because you just can’t let it go. This is building up. Going forward, do you add more to it?

Jeane: It felt like I finally had sat down. I was writing things down to get them straight, and then I was going to phone him myself to see if I could set up an appointment, even though I might tell him I don’t think it’s that interesting to do what we’re doing with these forms.

But at least I can be aware that I’ve set up the time and keep it, or schedule it, on a day he is coming in anyway.

John: For you to have carried this all the way through, I wished you would have done that. Instead, you took it up to a particular point where something hadn’t yet broken through, and it would have been nice to see how it breaks through.

It would have been nice to gain a sense of what that whole new way feels like, in the overall, as opposed to the sense of the change itself.

 
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