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Archive for February, 2013

fractals4Today’s discussion continues from John’s dream yesterday (see It’s in the Details). When it comes to  balancing the overall perspective of the feminine, with the detail perspective of the masculine – within each of us – it comes down to trust. Trust creates the space for things to unfold naturally. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In other words, if I’m able to put together a system and a process that flows, and this is very, very difficult and this is a problem that always exists when you have to function like this, is that you’re always rolling things around to see if you have it right.

And the problem with rolling things around to see if you have it right is, you can easily get caught up in the detail and screw up, because it’s important to also feel the overallness of what is right in the Whole, which is that feminine quality.

The masculine is that intangible fourth element that makes how something is to be felt and carried in the Whole. It’s what makes it complete. It’s what makes it secure. It’s what makes it safe. It’s what makes it balanced.

The feminine carries the overall vibration that everybody can abide in and be in, but the masculine is what safeguards it and makes it okay, makes it so that it’s sustainable. And what I’m seeing is not sustainable, and it may be okay now, but I know that it won’t be in the future.

I know that this is a latent problem, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I haven’t solved it, and of course I also know that the problem with solving it has to do with somehow or another being able to step back from it, too.

In other words, this is tricky because you have to make huge shifts too, so you can’t get too caught up in the way something has a sense of overall feel to it. You can’t get too caught up in that, because you have to be cognizant of how this little thing can distort, or disrupt, or change the overallness – even though it hasn’t done that yet.

There are two approaches when something is like this. One is to approach it gradually and try to reshape it, and the other is to abruptly throw it out and do a complete about face, and such a shift is very, very hard on things, to do an abrupt shift like that. That’s like the wrath of God or something, when something just gets completely hit with the eraser and redone, and snapped into something, because as it has been patty-caked together it’s too amorphic, sometimes it has too many little this and a little that, and therefore it’s become dysfunctional.

The purpose is to somehow or another be able to work with what there is to work with, and evoke the changes that need to be evoked and stay within an unfoldment, an unfoldment that the feminine holds and maintains and sustains.

The alternative to that is very abrupt, and it takes and just immediately does something where it can just take and rewrite the whole story. It can just reorient the whole thing just to fix something that is contaminated, contaminated to the point that where you see that that contamination is going to create an abomination.

So if you take and you just jump up and you rewrite the whole thing, you feel very guilty. You feel almost as if you’ve let something down. You feel like you can’t look people in the eye because what you’ve done is very much disturbing to the social fabric and order of things, well intended, but even more dangerous.

Because when you do something like that, people don’t have the useful semblances that they need to lean on as crutches, and you’ve jerked those out from under them, too, if you throw this whole thing into a complete flip.

And so you have this dilemma because, does it need to be a complete flip, or can this be gradually and subtly changed. And the grace of something involves the subtle change, or the grace and mercy of something involves the subtle change.

The awe and majesty of something involves the raw energy that takes and hits something so abruptly that it can be extremely disruptive to the fabric of things because, although intended to make something better, how are things able to cope with it?

Now, sometimes that has to be however, because if you’re running out of rope in terms of being able to sustain and maintain an overallness, and that overallness is important, and the overallness is carried by the feminine, and the masculine can see where the points are where it’s not protected, or not going to sustain and maintain itself, or fall apart in terms of its functionality, sometimes it has to take and do that whole abruptness, and when it does that, how does it do that in relationship to working with the feminine?

Because the feminine only works from the standpoint of sustaining the good overallness. It only does that. It maintains almost that quality of an angelic praise of the Whole. The masculine is the one that comes in and sees that there’s something a little awry or lacking, and then tries to work with the feminine order and balance, to work at it in a very simplified way. But if it can’t do it in a simplified way, it has the ability to strike out and do something abruptly. And when it does that something abruptly, the feminine has no choice but then to have to try to pick up the pieces.

But even the feminine can lose its sense of self, because so much gets disturbed, should something like that happen. And you never know whether or not you’re going to crack something when you do something like that, and sometimes it has to be done because it’s going to break anyway.

I am seeing this aspect as my role to have gotten to the point where I can see the transgressions, and I know how they remain, and so I’m ashamed and embarrassed. It’s all I can do to show my face, because technically what the people are rejoicing and seeing, in terms of us, is not necessarily about what is apt to happen.

In other words, from my perspective they may want to take all that back before it’s over with, and the image of me is a little bit like you see when you come across a person whose eyes are darting about, and they can’t look you in the eye, and they’re holding back in some fashion. You know that they have some sort of reservation inside themselves.

In other words, they don’t quite buy the pitch, or the program of things, and you may think you have a deal or an arrangement or agreement, but when you see this disjointure coming across from them you know that something’s missing, and that something is going to be different than what you are anticipating.

And so it’s an image that’s like that. Something is going to be different. Something is apt to fall apart or break down, and I’m aware of the break down quality, and pondering what to do about that, but I don’t necessarily have a good answer because anything you do can make things worse.

And what exists now needs to declutter a little bit more, but is there sufficient time for it to declutter? It doesn’t require much time, but it does seem like it needs a little time in order for it to be done simply and graciously.

Will a certain imbalance that hasn’t been fixed, that can be approached by spreading this out and giving it more time so that a certain ordered, more gracious way can come through, and can come across, which takes time to do? Is there enough time for that to occur, or is this other that is a predicament, and a problem in the fabric of things, is this other going to break things up first? Is it going to get ahead?

This is this whole sense that I carry, and what’s interesting is the feminine order of things see me, or I see myself in the feminine order of things, as kind of in a spatiality that has an intentionality and an overallness, which is mandated to be as well. But then that mandate is subject to this other quality that I’m alone with, that can see how this whole thing can get contangled.

What I have to do is, and it’s against my better nature to do this, but I have to trust. And what I’m trusting in, I don’t have a lot of faith in. It has yet to prove to me that that works for them, because they’re missing this detail that I can see, and can that euphoria and all of that somehow or another wing it, or will this other slowly be like a virus, a slow disease of the body that will eventually win out?

So thus the predicament, and thus the dream. I’m measuring myself and going through this problem inside in relationship to having to look at a very, very particular characteristic in the Whole.

And [in your dream] you’re measuring yourself from the standpoint that, can you carry this overallness that you have caught up with? Can you carry it all the way through? Can you bring it all into the lower levels, from the higher levels all the way down and through?

Of course, what will stop you will be some detail or some aspect that hasn’t been cleared out that falls in the role of the masculine. That’s how those two come together. It’s not your responsibility to go out there and try to understand and deal and address that detail.

The three women when they came out were perfectly fine. That other aspect fell upon me, and so when I walked out, it felt like all the eyes were upon me, because I knew everything else was okay, but I’m not okay, and how do I do this? How can I even show my face?

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Trusting in the Order of Things

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detail-van-vleugelsIn today’s dream, John finds himself as the odd man out, being in a group with three other women. The women see, and represent, the Wholeness of the situation. The masculine sees, and represents, the particulars, or the details of things. A balance of both views is required to maintain the safety of the overall. Finding this balance is a huge struggle within each developing person. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Well, my dream works with the particularity of something. In other words, you have the general motif, and I have the set responsibility.

And so the way it shows itself up is, I’m one of the four people who have the responsibility to ensure that the guidelines governing the workings of a body, which I am part of, have no conflicts of interest.

This body is composed, these inner workings, the inner responsibility is made up of three women and me. In other words, we’re like the higher order that makes sure that the will of the overall body is free and clear from any conflict in terms in terms of how it’s put together.

Because we have to be clear about this, and it’s very subtle at times, we tend to remain kind of in an inner sanctum within ourselves, so it’s considered an honor and a noble thing when we go out into the courtyard or something amongst the people. And the people are always excited to see us and will stand around waiting if we’re supposed to come out at some appointed time.

Our duty as the inner sanctum, the four of us, is to make sure that the fabric of the society is not only not affected by anyone with a presence that is not right, but also with an interest like in the Whole, an ownership interest or a place in the Whole that contaminates the overall freedom and flow and functionality.

The image is, I see us filing out to their welcome, and we’re going like in a lineup, and it’s kind of two women go first, and then there’s me, and then there is another woman. I’m the only guy, and I would have been perfectly happy, and would have preferred if it were possible to have stayed back and let the women come out, but that is not how it works. We are the leadership team.

So, we file out amongst the people and the crowd is ecstatic to see us, but I see myself cringing with embarrassment. I can hardly look anybody in the eye. I’m very, very self-conscious. These three women do not seem to be aware consciously of anything being askew, but I’m aware of it, and I do not feel worthy to be there and would prefer to hide.

I cannot look these people in the eye because, from my inner positioning of being able to see something from within, I see a problem in the way that the order of the body is put together, and it has to do with a type of ownership interest that conflicts with what we all deem responsible. In other words where there isn’t a contaminate that sits there at a deep inner level that prevents something from being as dynamic as it’s meant to be – and I’m aware of it.

But all the women don’t seem to be aware of it, because they don’t look at things that way. They’re looking at the overall energetic of how something needs to be in the Whole, but I’m aware of this undermining little component. And I see it as my responsibility, and my duty, to make sure that that’s not there – and it’s there. So I’m feeling so bad about this, it is all I can do to show my face.

I could see in the eyes of the people that they trust us explicitly, and are standing out there to greet us and honor us, which is how it’s meant to be. In other words, that’s how it’s set up to be. It works like that.

It’s an odd position to be in, because I know that the women are in the right space to be swept up in this coming together or communion with the people, but I’m not. I’m having an extremely hard time justifying just being there because of this guilt, or self-conscious, that I carry because what I know is sitting there.

It may not be a problem yet, but it has to be fixed or it will be, and it’s my role to have seen this, and I missed it, and there it is, affecting the overall system. So for as long as this remains an imbalance, I can’t do anything but see myself as holding back in this self-conscious embarrassment, restraint, and shame.

To come out before the people while this still exists to me is out of place, as if I’ve let everyone down, even though they don’t know it, don’t see it yet. That doesn’t matter; I see it and that is where it matters, in terms of my heart.

In writing what this is like, I write: the vibration is that I’m aware of an inner energetic imbalance that has to do with a detail regarding the order of things that has its aliveness, this detail, and that detail is such that it could destabilize the Whole.

But what’s awkward is, at this point in time, I seem to be alone in this. The three women comrades are amnesic to this. I mean, they don’t look at the detail and specifics of things. They look at how the overallness is and they tend to feel that they’re handling that.

I mean, this detail really, really bugs me. They’re okay, and the people are euphoric, and they have a right to be euphoric, and they’re carrying themselves as they need to carry themselves as they go out amongst the people. It’s just me that’s tenuous.

In other words, what I see is I can’t really look at them in the eyes, because I see the impending problem. In other words, I see that in between, and as long as it remains, I’m not able to be in a place that is able to merge, or to come through, in a way that connects like it’s meant to be.

In other words, if I’m able to put together a system and a process that flows, and this is very, very difficult and this is a problem that always exists when you have to function like this, is that you’re always rolling things around to see if you have it right.

And the problem with rolling things around to see if you have it right is, you can easily get caught up in the detail and screw up, because it’s important to also feel the overallness of what is right in the Whole, which is that feminine quality.

The masculine is that intangible fourth element that makes how something is to be felt and carried in the Whole. It’s what makes it complete. It’s what makes it secure. It’s what makes it safe. It’s what makes it balanced.

The feminine carries the overall vibration that everybody can abide in and be in, but the masculine is what safeguards it and makes it okay, makes it so that it’s sustainable. And what I’m seeing is not sustainable, and it may be okay now, but I know that it won’t be in the future.

I know that this is a latent problem, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I haven’t solved it, and of course I also know that the problem with solving it has to do with somehow or another being able to step back from it, too.

In other words, this is tricky because you have to make huge shifts too, so you can’t get too caught up in the way something is, as a sense of overall feel to it. You can’t get too caught up in that, because you have to be cognizant of how this little thing can distort, or disrupt, or change the overallness – even though it hasn’t done that yet.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: It’s In the Details

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root_system_of_8d_string-randallfly-netThe imagery in Jeane’s dream shows her traversing different levels in a building, entering different rooms, and trying on hats. It serves as a reflection of the different levels in us, and the different energetic levels of the universe. The challenge is to be able to carry ourselves on all these different levels, while maintaining an inner location (shown as the wearing of the hats), as a way to bring the vibrational energies through us and into life.  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: My dream seems to take place in this really large building that has several levels to it, and it’s almost like the buildings they have marble and almost like a museum, and that on some higher floors, and in certain rooms, there are ancient artifacts and things from other cultures, almost like a mystery to them.

You don’t know really what they’re about, but at the same time, there are little alcoves in places where there are fairly feminine things going on, like where women sell these hats that have been made in France that you can try on, and they make you feel very feminine and feathery.

I don’t know, I really kind of like these hats, but I just have to steal moments to kind of remember where the hat shops are, and go in and try on a hat. Then I seem to have to be running to go look at some exhibit, or into a room or maybe even you experience the energy of certain mysteries or things.

It’s not like this is a place I’m really familiar with, but there are people that are showing us around and we seem to be on a schedule that they’ve derived, and you never quite know which floor you’re going to be on, or what room you’re looking into. And then sometimes I’ll lose you because maybe I was kind of enthralled by the energy of a room and I turned around I didn’t know where you had gone to.

At the same time, there’s a small group of us that are broken off, and someone’s going to take us to a special event that night rather than go to where the rest of the group is going. And we’ve met with them someplace on one of the lower floors.

We’re given a few minutes to clean up, and I go into this room that’s like a bathroom, but then I realize that I’ve been cleaning up and everything, but I really should have stepped in the shower and done it faster.

So now I feel like I’m running out of time, and my hair still feels a bit of a mess, but I just have to deal with it that way. The smaller group of us is going to go on one last kind of tour of some rooms that we hadn’t seen, and they take us up to this upper floor.

I go into a room where you kind of go through the doorway and then you step through curtains and you’re standing under an arch, and there are really old things in here. And there’s something about the energy of it, I’m soaking it up to the length of time that I realize that I have been keeping a line of people waiting, so then I’m not sure where you have gone to, so then I dash up to a higher floor, and there are some women trying on the hats there.

I haven’t really asked you about getting a hat, and there are these small little cap-like hats made out of feathers that are very pretty, and then there’s a very big floppy one like you would almost see at the racetrack with maybe some other design on it that makes you feel very feminine.

I haven’t really checked with you, and now I don’t know where you’ve gone, because I really do want one of these hats and now I’m looking for you. You aren’t at the last exhibit, and then I go into another room, and now I’m not sure where we are all supposed to meet to go to whatever show we’re going to that night, so it feels like I’m now going down the steps of the museum.

My best thought is to go back to where we all first gathered because that might give me a clue as to where we go next, or maybe that’s where you will all be.

That’s about all I remember. It had so much movement going on because there would be the room with the hats, and then there would be the rooms that had the ancient feeling to them, and all these different levels.

John: What you’re doing is you’re using the hats to show that you’re supposed to take on an overall role, or presence, or demeanor, or appearance, and you’re supposed to extend this out. It’s like a responsibility that you carry as an energetic.

It’s an energetic that you free flow with, back and forth on various levels. It is something that you’re looking at, and feeling, because, somehow or another, you feel charged with the responsibility of having to carry this quality of yourself, to exude this particular quality of yourself, in the environment that you have the ability to traverse on many, many, many levels.

You have this in relationship to hearing, and grasping, and carrying an understanding that comes through kind of a set of instructions, or insight, that comes through to you, that you then take, from those instructions, that you just take that in as an aspect of the overall.

What reflects is this demeanor and way that you carry that energy, the overall effect of that energy, into all of these different rooms, or all of these different levels. So you’re bringing something through, I mean that’s the process that you’re doing, is you’re bringing something through, but the energetic of it is you are putting yourself under a self-examination.

In other words, there are obviously energetic issues in this in terms of bringing the hats, or the presence of something, straightaway through. There are issues there, and so you’re unsettled. You’re energetically unsettled because you’re compelled to keep and maintain, sustain, you’re duty bound to carry this through, to bring this through to the various levels.

It’s kind of like an echo, of a vibrational footprint of your being, that you’re compelled to have to live or carry through. Now, you’re carrying it through, as an overall presence, as something that just touches and affects, just by its beingness.

You’re not bringing something through in terms of a kind of particularity that helps the overall, the beingness, the vibration, this overall vibrational sense is what is important to you, and for you, in terms of how you are meant to be, in terms of a role and responsibility that you see yourself as being innerly charged with, in other words to go from room to room, to be consistent with, to sustain.

So you feel this about yourself in terms of the overall presence, energetically and vibrationally, and you see this outside of the schematic of detail. You see this just as a stage of being, and that you have to keep and maintain and sustain this state of being. You have to live this, this being like a hat. You have to live this from room to room. You can’t lose track of that as you go from room to room.

If you do lose track, you feel a little lost or disoriented, so you’re gauging that. I mean, you’re actually measuring what it’s like to be like this from room to room, from level to level, because there are certain levels in which it’s not that hard probably to be with the hat, but there are other levels in which that is hard to do.

And so you have to bring it through. You have to bring it down, and you have to bring it through. It has to be brought all the way through in terms of the energetic that you have to hold.

If I were to label this dream, it’s kind of like a shaking dream. You’re being shaken to the recognition of this: this is who you are, and how you are, in terms of a process of intertwining, that you have to do, that you feel compelled, that is kind of like your motif of bringing something.

This is how you connect, this is how you relate, this is what you’re all about. This is kind of like your spiritual role, or something, and so you’re measuring yourself in this, as you’re trying to bring this from the top levels on down. You are actually measuring yourself in it.

It may not look like you’re measuring yourself in it because you’re doing it in an overall way. In terms of general overallness, the feminine is always trying to accommodate, and accommodate, and accommodate, as she is trying to bring something through, so she’s always trying to give herself space to bring this something through.

It’s an odd octave in which you cannot not be kind of out there, subject to whatever it is that’s taking place as you’re shifting about, and shifting about, and shifting about trying to sustain or maintain that. In other words, it’s not your thing to deal with the particulars of this. You just have to sustain and maintain that energetic.

Your dream is such that you can tell when you’re askew in terms of doing this, and so in that regard it is helping you tighten up on the recognition.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Vibrational Sense

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