Finding Inner Stability

MichaelGrab-GravityGlue1In a seemingly mundane series of images, it is revealed to Jeane how reacting to things in the environment can have a destabilizing effect. Whenever we feel the external world is something we can control, or steer in a certain direction, we separate ourselves from the natural flow of life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)


Jeane: My dreams last night were somewhat frustrating because it felt like everything was a pale imitation of what you would actually expect, or had happened in the past.

It would be like little vignettes, like some people might be walking my dad down the street, and maybe he needed some detox or something, but they didn’t really know how to give him a proper detox, so I would go over and intervene because it was like they always treated everybody the same.

In other words, they didn’t pay attention to what your age was, or anything else. They might just do things cookie cutter. But I’m just walking into some room and I’m thinking like, you don’t do that. You have to take into account the different circumstances. But they seem to be kind of on automatic.

I know there was one kind of interim dream there too, where I just seemed to be getting together some stuff for hors d’oeuvres for a party, and it was like cream cheese with hot sauce on it that I’m taking.

Again, it seems like something pretty mundane, and then I ‘m trying to park a car. In that same dream I think I’m trying to coordinate some things with my relatives, my niece and her daughter and my sister, I think, and we’ve all brought cars and parked them at the house. And when I go up to the parking lot there are some cars that actually belong to people at work.

There are people sometimes trying to take them like they think like they’re mine, and I’m trying to explain that, no it belongs to work, so I have to do it a certain way, treat it differently than if it was yours in a way.

They seem to have parked the cars in this parking lot near my grandmother’s house, but the way they parked them if you nudge the car a little it actually goes down the bank and down an incline backwards and into a part of the driveway and might bump another car that’s also parked there.

And so I keep kind of trying to pull the car forward and get it anchored in a way where it won’t roll down backwards and bump anything else. And it seems to have to be done just right because it’s a car that kind of folds a little on itself, or something, so I’m just trying to juggle it so these cars like fit so someone can move them, and yet they don’t roll down and hit each other.

Then there was just a third little vignette where it feels like I’m at a nightclub and the gal, Sarah Michelle Gellar who used to play Buffy, shows up and it’s like there’s also some people at the nightclub that are maybe like ghouls or, I don’t know what you would call them, the type of people she used to fight, and they’re just kind of going around trying to put on special little costumes and stuff, and she’s actually looking fairly elegant.

But it’s almost like what they want to put up against her is something again, kind of Mickey Mouse compared to what she’s done before, just changing costumes, I don’t know.

Again, all the dreams I kind of had a feeling I was looking at them like something was going on that was kind of Mickey Mouse, compared to like a past with the energy of it.

John: Well, if I hadn’t had the same sort of thing going on myself, I probably wouldn’t have had the foggiest idea what you were doing and what it means. What I recognized and realized, in terms of what was going on in my dreams, which then is the same as in your dreams, is you’re being compelled to take and look at…
In other words, it is one thing to take and live something in the outer, and go through the outer, and you go through the anxieties, and the commotions, and reactions, and attitudes, and anger, and whatever the motif may be, or you could be self-conscious, or you could have a certain rigidity in terms of how you want something to be done.

You could carry all of that forth and beat yourself up in terms of a certain outer overindulgence, and sometimes maybe the best way of seeing that you don’t have to be that way, is to kind of have dreams that just kind of look at something that you typically are always readily doing, have a dream that really is, if anything, about what you’ve just done.

And then see from that dream, how it is that in this other way of being, inside of you, the way the energy works doesn’t have to be the way you’re applying it in the outer. Or, on an even higher octave of it, that every little nuance that you have carries very direct consequential effects in the outer.

In other words, you can go along and think okay, your opinion and reaction about something is just your opinion and reaction about something in the outer, and it doesn’t really necessarily have that great of an effect.

However, you’re shown, when you have difficulty figuring out how to even drive around, in other words, park your car, how to just situate yourself, you’re shown that the slightest little things cause things to go askew.

So that’s the component that you add to your dreaming that isn’t in my dreaming, is that you are shown that your overall schematic or placement that you have in the Whole is such that to the degree to which you, number one, take and differentiate yourself from the overall.

You then have mannerisms and traits and characteristics that you contend with, segregated, which take you out of the flow, and that in feeling it in the outer, and in feeling what images look like that have the parallel on the inner, you can realize and recognize that the intensity that you are bringing to bear is unnecessary – if you are truly recognizing that it’s all just one amorphic body that you don’t need to bring all of this intensity to bear.

And then you’ve switched it to kind of like a higher octave recognition that, to the degree to which you throw energy around, or carry distractive mannerisms that affect the way you try to situate yourself, that you can’t get very well positioned, or situated, because those mannerisms that you carry or project won’t allow you to park, or be settled, because they affect things in the environment.

It’s kind of like a takeoff of the idea that at one point in time you could probably go around and carry and maintain mannerisms and traits, and it was like it didn’t necessarily mean a whole heck of a lot because you were less conscious of how the effect of all of that worked.

But now you’re being shown that you have to take responsibility for your attitudes, moods, and mannerisms – the way you park yourself  – because if you are parking yourself off with any kind of tone, or demeanor, which doesn’t let go and isn’t carefree, that there are consequences of that, that it’s still maintaining a destabilizing effect, in terms of the environment.

The purpose of dreaming things like this is to try to get you to recognize that there is a way of being, which you can see yourself as being, like in the inner, that takes out that seriousness like the instance of something with your dad in the first dream. There’s that other part that’s just doing what it’s doing, and then there’s you acting like it has got to be streamlined and done differently.

There’s a way of taking out that seriousness, and that naturally that seriousness goes out, when you come to recognize that you’re working with an overall, you’re working with a Whole. But when you think you’re dealing with separate things, and separate mannerisms, then you react at every little thing that goes askew, and so you maintain some sort of steady, imposing energetic on the equation.

Now, what happens is that if you maintain the steady energetic, is that when you do that then you keep something from being able to shift, or to change, or you keep yourself from being able to advance, or progress, consciously, because as long as that is there, that’s where your attention is.

And therefore your car that you’re parking stays in some sort of destabilized mode. It’s constantly something you have to pay attention to because the slightest little vagary difference that you carry inside of you is affecting how the car is able to be situated.

You’re having to take and you’re having to look at this because the deeper theme of it all is that in order to go to another level of being, or consciousness, you have to drop a certain way, that you still allow or give yourself permission to be, that has these tones, these moods, these attitudes, these projections, because as it shows in the final dream, you can’t even get stabilized if you carry this sort of thing.

It keeps you from being able to park or be at ease, and this other shift that’s possible, which can bring in new potentialities and possibilities requires you to be able to just settle back and be part of the Whole, to be comfortable in the Whole and not have to go around quibbling and equivocating yourself in relationship to the Whole, as if you’re somehow or another distinct or separate, or that the overallness is a little haywire.

The Wholeness is complete in and of itself – if you can just sit there and be in it. It’s you that’s off, in terms of what you still carry as some idea of differentiation, which you still maintain and, therefore, you can’t be settled, you can’t park, and therefore you can’t shift to something even more, which the overallness offers up, or carries, that you’re actually connected to and merged into.

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