Today’s discussion continues from John’s dream yesterday (see It’s in the Details). When it comes to balancing the overall perspective of the feminine, with the detail perspective of the masculine – within each of us – it comes down to trust. Trust creates the space for things to unfold naturally. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: In other words, if I’m able to put together a system and a process that flows, and this is very, very difficult and this is a problem that always exists when you have to function like this, is that you’re always rolling things around to see if you have it right.
And the problem with rolling things around to see if you have it right is, you can easily get caught up in the detail and screw up, because it’s important to also feel the overallness of what is right in the Whole, which is that feminine quality.
The masculine is that intangible fourth element that makes how something is to be felt and carried in the Whole. It’s what makes it complete. It’s what makes it secure. It’s what makes it safe. It’s what makes it balanced.
The feminine carries the overall vibration that everybody can abide in and be in, but the masculine is what safeguards it and makes it okay, makes it so that it’s sustainable. And what I’m seeing is not sustainable, and it may be okay now, but I know that it won’t be in the future.
I know that this is a latent problem, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I haven’t solved it, and of course I also know that the problem with solving it has to do with somehow or another being able to step back from it, too.
In other words, this is tricky because you have to make huge shifts too, so you can’t get too caught up in the way something has a sense of overall feel to it. You can’t get too caught up in that, because you have to be cognizant of how this little thing can distort, or disrupt, or change the overallness – even though it hasn’t done that yet.
There are two approaches when something is like this. One is to approach it gradually and try to reshape it, and the other is to abruptly throw it out and do a complete about face, and such a shift is very, very hard on things, to do an abrupt shift like that. That’s like the wrath of God or something, when something just gets completely hit with the eraser and redone, and snapped into something, because as it has been patty-caked together it’s too amorphic, sometimes it has too many little this and a little that, and therefore it’s become dysfunctional.
The purpose is to somehow or another be able to work with what there is to work with, and evoke the changes that need to be evoked and stay within an unfoldment, an unfoldment that the feminine holds and maintains and sustains.
The alternative to that is very abrupt, and it takes and just immediately does something where it can just take and rewrite the whole story. It can just reorient the whole thing just to fix something that is contaminated, contaminated to the point that where you see that that contamination is going to create an abomination.
So if you take and you just jump up and you rewrite the whole thing, you feel very guilty. You feel almost as if you’ve let something down. You feel like you can’t look people in the eye because what you’ve done is very much disturbing to the social fabric and order of things, well intended, but even more dangerous.
Because when you do something like that, people don’t have the useful semblances that they need to lean on as crutches, and you’ve jerked those out from under them, too, if you throw this whole thing into a complete flip.
And so you have this dilemma because, does it need to be a complete flip, or can this be gradually and subtly changed. And the grace of something involves the subtle change, or the grace and mercy of something involves the subtle change.
The awe and majesty of something involves the raw energy that takes and hits something so abruptly that it can be extremely disruptive to the fabric of things because, although intended to make something better, how are things able to cope with it?
Now, sometimes that has to be however, because if you’re running out of rope in terms of being able to sustain and maintain an overallness, and that overallness is important, and the overallness is carried by the feminine, and the masculine can see where the points are where it’s not protected, or not going to sustain and maintain itself, or fall apart in terms of its functionality, sometimes it has to take and do that whole abruptness, and when it does that, how does it do that in relationship to working with the feminine?
Because the feminine only works from the standpoint of sustaining the good overallness. It only does that. It maintains almost that quality of an angelic praise of the Whole. The masculine is the one that comes in and sees that there’s something a little awry or lacking, and then tries to work with the feminine order and balance, to work at it in a very simplified way. But if it can’t do it in a simplified way, it has the ability to strike out and do something abruptly. And when it does that something abruptly, the feminine has no choice but then to have to try to pick up the pieces.
But even the feminine can lose its sense of self, because so much gets disturbed, should something like that happen. And you never know whether or not you’re going to crack something when you do something like that, and sometimes it has to be done because it’s going to break anyway.
I am seeing this aspect as my role to have gotten to the point where I can see the transgressions, and I know how they remain, and so I’m ashamed and embarrassed. It’s all I can do to show my face, because technically what the people are rejoicing and seeing, in terms of us, is not necessarily about what is apt to happen.
In other words, from my perspective they may want to take all that back before it’s over with, and the image of me is a little bit like you see when you come across a person whose eyes are darting about, and they can’t look you in the eye, and they’re holding back in some fashion. You know that they have some sort of reservation inside themselves.
In other words, they don’t quite buy the pitch, or the program of things, and you may think you have a deal or an arrangement or agreement, but when you see this disjointure coming across from them you know that something’s missing, and that something is going to be different than what you are anticipating.
And so it’s an image that’s like that. Something is going to be different. Something is apt to fall apart or break down, and I’m aware of the break down quality, and pondering what to do about that, but I don’t necessarily have a good answer because anything you do can make things worse.
And what exists now needs to declutter a little bit more, but is there sufficient time for it to declutter? It doesn’t require much time, but it does seem like it needs a little time in order for it to be done simply and graciously.
Will a certain imbalance that hasn’t been fixed, that can be approached by spreading this out and giving it more time so that a certain ordered, more gracious way can come through, and can come across, which takes time to do? Is there enough time for that to occur, or is this other that is a predicament, and a problem in the fabric of things, is this other going to break things up first? Is it going to get ahead?
This is this whole sense that I carry, and what’s interesting is the feminine order of things see me, or I see myself in the feminine order of things, as kind of in a spatiality that has an intentionality and an overallness, which is mandated to be as well. But then that mandate is subject to this other quality that I’m alone with, that can see how this whole thing can get contangled.
What I have to do is, and it’s against my better nature to do this, but I have to trust. And what I’m trusting in, I don’t have a lot of faith in. It has yet to prove to me that that works for them, because they’re missing this detail that I can see, and can that euphoria and all of that somehow or another wing it, or will this other slowly be like a virus, a slow disease of the body that will eventually win out?
So thus the predicament, and thus the dream. I’m measuring myself and going through this problem inside in relationship to having to look at a very, very particular characteristic in the Whole.
And [in your dream] you’re measuring yourself from the standpoint that, can you carry this overallness that you have caught up with? Can you carry it all the way through? Can you bring it all into the lower levels, from the higher levels all the way down and through?
Of course, what will stop you will be some detail or some aspect that hasn’t been cleared out that falls in the role of the masculine. That’s how those two come together. It’s not your responsibility to go out there and try to understand and deal and address that detail.
The three women when they came out were perfectly fine. That other aspect fell upon me, and so when I walked out, it felt like all the eyes were upon me, because I knew everything else was okay, but I’m not okay, and how do I do this? How can I even show my face?
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Trusting in the Order of Things